At work there's this chick that knows everything, she butts in everywhere wherever possible, is so loud that most can hear her at the opposite end of the office even when on personal calls.
Just one of those rare gems =)

It just so happens that in addition to all the afore mentioned Sterling attributes Lady's a burly* broad that stiffens at the elbows as she walks (like a lumber jack) honest.
At one point here was a toss up between whether to refer to her as Broomhilda or Helga...HELGA won out.

There's a point to all this set up I swear.

Helga is the queen of CRASS. In her spare time she enjoys emitting toxic flatulence followed by a signature brusque exit. Honest to goodness she just walks away leaving a wake of devastation. Once or twice in total I could possibly excuse but, goodness gravy two three FOUR times a day?!?!?

It's to the extent that we recognize it's her. There's just this horrible wall of putrid funk that overtakes you as though you're taking your last breath, IT BURNNNS =(

Normal farts I can deal, they slip (I guess) that's permitted but, just eating who knows what and then letting loose on the unsuspecting public NOT COOL.