if anyone wants to buy my car, its a 1984 bmw 318i with fourteen million miles on it. it goes 0-60 in 26 seconds. and it broke down twice on the way to the first day of my new job today. miraculously recovering, i got it going both times and still made it on time. then i waited and got it towed after work.

i'm selling it for $1,000. and i mean, i'll give you $1,000 to take it off my hands.