i almost died laughing when reading this:
Jersey Shore: The Poor Man's Vacation Destination
The Jersey Shore has actual sand and a real ocean, just like every other vacation destination. But, its sand and ocean just happen to be—unlike other "good" destinations—littered with syringes and Red Bull cans. At normal beaches, if you wait long enough, you may catch a glimpse of a dolphin, majestically leaping out of the ocean. In New Jersey, you are guaranteed to see no less than two fights, enough Gotti-wannabe’s to stage an all-guido remake of 300, and an assortment of less-than-stellar sandcastles that are really more cigarette butt than sand.
The ludicrously high number of syringes would lead one to sensibly conclude that every male on the Jersey Shore is either on steroids (presumably because they wanted to get their money's worth on the "$50-per-each-additional inch of barbed wire tattoo" deal at the parlor on the boardwalk) or heroin (presumably because they like heroin).
i wonder what beach they're talking about. i've seen dolphins in wildwood before, and i saw a seal at island beach state park last year. "the jersey shore" is a pretty big generalization. maybe they're talking about seaside
did they even have fins or eyes? LOL