wow, i've been reading up on personality disorders and this is a sign of a narcissistic abuser:

No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds when caught, Projects his/her faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never his/her fault, Little if any conscience, Has a good front(persona) to impress and exploit others, Low stress tolerance, People are to be manipulated for his/her needs, Twists conversation to his gain at other’s expense. If trapped, keeps talking or changes the subject, pathological lying, ttremendous need to control situations, Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate, Does not share ideas, feelings, emotions, hides behind persona, moody, secret life unbeknown to others, Grandiose. Convinced he knows more than others and is correct in all he/she does, Can get emotional, tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than sorrow, Sabotages partner, Convincing. Must convince people to side with him/her, Hides his real self, always “on”, has to win (to look good to others), You feel miserable with this person they drain you, Does not listen because he/she does not care, his/her feelings are discussed, not the partners