his books are pretty good. seriously read them . if you want to feel intelligent. somewhat.

You mean we can aspire to be intelligent like you if we read books by a guy who has a name that sounds like a 7-11 employee of the month?

hey! you have to work really hard to be the 7-11 employee of the month!

I hear that chicks really dig a guy who can work a slurpee machine.

everytime we go to the beach at least 5 people have to leave and go get slurpees. i just don't get it. i love the slurpees but desert the beach? are you crazed???

i'm convinced that somebody always spikes my slurpees...i always go crazy when i drink them

never but vodka in a blue slurpee... you think it's good.. but then you realize that a slurpee is 80% ice. so you're drinking blue watered down vodka. ewww