Insights on the Results of Animal Domestication LOCKED
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[b]Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:[/b]
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dog cookies! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
[b]Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:[/b]
Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of; however, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow--but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released--and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe it communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that it reports my every move. My Captors have arranged protective custody for it in an elevated cell, so he is safe...for now....
AI Summary
10 Comments
This is awesome, dude.
When reading the cat part, I imagined it in the voice of Stewie from Family Guy.
YES!!!! that is Tommy
did you write this? because if you did, someone strangely forwarded it to me through email in 1997.
I started that forward!!
No, I didn't write this.
lol. loved it.
lol the cat thing.. that is Tommy .. totally... except if he spoke he'd speak with an english accent like an old english professor
Munchkin even though she was a cat she would be more like the dog diary ha she loved everything
hahahha, i love this. it makes me a little sad though...cuz my cats always stare at my dog when he goes outside, like why is HE able to go out. haha
this is really funny. love it. i'm gonna read it to my captive feline, jazzy.
I think my captive, PoPo, may be an exception to the smart-cat thing. Unless it is all a clever farce!