Weddings
With all this wedding & engagement party talk I wanted to ask everyone's opinion on something. I'm dating and have been in weddings (know how much that cost :( and have attended many. I realize when I get my rsvp card to respond you are stating whether you will attend or not no? Now I'm not married but realize whats involved. How do you feel about people giving ZERO dollars to a couple at the wedding. Don't get me wrong I know some are not financially stable but at my cousins wedding someone gave her homeade baked cookies & a card! She thought that was soo sweet. I think the thought was there no? But if a couple comes eats, definitely takes advantage of the open bar and give you not a dollar, and they consider themselves to be your friends?
This happened to a friend of mine. I told her not to confront them. But not to send a thank you card. Theres nothing to thank them for. If anything the couple should send her father a thank you card for the meal.
Am I wrong?
AI Summary
37 Comments
I had a horrible scary dream about weddings last night. Ben and I decided that we were going to get married today and we sent out flyers, that had really corny rhymes on them, and were made on ugly blue paper, to invite everyone. It was very sad.
I can't help but think that I inspired this dream w/our crazy convo the other day
You totally probably did!! AHH you're driving me insane! It's ok, it was amusing until we were driving over a bridge that had one of those super-speed shoot-you-across-empty-air that those little power wheels have. I hate heights.
I think all weddings should have a set, minimum dollar amount to be given to the bride & groom. There should be video cameras set up inside the reception hall & kingdom hall, so that all invitees who cannot meet the minimum ammount, can be given the option of viewing the wedding, and reception, on monitors set up outside in the parking lot...& have the wedding in the dead middle of december so they all have to stand outside in the frigid cold...
and everyone entering must be directed to the retinal scan and lie detector before finding their seats...
along with urine and stool sample.
wow. i wonder what lucky person would take care of that job.
Hahahaha...can you imagine friends walking past the guestbook in their nicest clothes carrying a little cup filled with yellow liquid? And the stool sample is just foul.
smeared on a popsicle stick
thanks. i'll never eat a fudgesicle ever again.
AHHAHAHAHAHAHA aww man... soo funny!
yeah, I had no idea my comment would domino into us talking about human waste...interesting how things turn out sometimes, lol....
I think retinal or thumb print scans should be used in place of keys...for houses & cars & whatnot..haha, ofcourse if you work around machinery & loose your eyes and or thumbs, you'd be a tad bit screwed....public transportation isn't THAT bad though...
hey sure www.lgiris.com ...that ought to satisfy you...the future is now
my mom has always tryed to teach me proper etiquette for many things (as you see it has not worked very well since i cannot even spell the word) but this is what is said about weddings:::
witness weddings---you give what you can and people should understand that. if you don't have money at that time, you still write them a card congratulating them and promise yourself to catch up with them within the next 6 months. sometimes by then a couple has run outta money anyway and will need that help. you give because you love and want them to start a wonderful life together. but you should plan in advance because you obviously know months ahead that you will be attending their wedding.
i didnt judge my friends by how much money they gave me for my baby shower or wedding or housewarming, even if they neglected to give a card. they werent invited for that, but as my friends.
We had a few people (young and old) not give anything...nothing. I would think giving a card (even without money) would show that you at least thought of them even if you can't give a gift.
its your precsence, not your presents that count.
if a person cant *cover* the dinner too bad. I never expected that.
there are articles on the WT CD too look up on this very subject.
my thoughts are ..if you are poor.. and can't afford it.. and just going to help celebrate. thats awesome. no need for a gift. but if you have dough... and dont even give a dollar or 2... thats just wrong.
Perhaps that's true, but I feel that we should always assume the best about our brothers and sisters, so that if they didn't bring a gift, no matter how much money they may seem to have, there must have been a very good reason.
yea, they're cheap. haha, j/k. your're right - a person's circumstances may change. I also know what ty is saying. It's kinda of annoying when you know someone makes close to six figures a year, drives up in a fancy car, shows off their new electronic toys and gives you $15 (true story).
Now that would be a little annoying, even for the person not focused on the presents. I have no money, but I have no problem dropping $100 for a good friend-unless I have to spend a fortune just to be in it.
my mom has a story like this. her great aunt (grandma's sister) was an extremely wealthy woman and wore 2 fur coats to her wedding cuz she was so cold only gave my parents $10.
she was so cold? is that why she wore TWO fur coats? haha
she was a frail old woman.
haha..you're name is "Dating"....
Even if a lot of money wasn't put towards the gift, I would still write a thank you. You can't write on a wedding invitation the minimum amount that must be spent on a gift. Besides, the focus shouldn't be on the gifts, it should be on the occasion.
Well a gift is something thats not obligated to be given but thru the kindness on ones heart one wants to give... and its more about what your celebrating then what your getting and if thats how you feel about it then the wedding should be a private affair.
yep! its much easier that way, even tho the big shebang can be fun too.
but theres no way i can afford it for my kids, so it will have to be the small way.
i wish my parents even thought a little of this. whatever i shall endeavor to do whether be college or wedding, i shall be paying for it all by myself because they had to do it for themselves and such i should do the same.
but i understand the whole wedding thing. cuz if you had five daughters would you be looking foward to paying for all of their weddings?
well, i just got married a month ago, and we had that happen to us too, actually several FAMILIES didnt cover even their dinners. At first i was like, WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? but, i found out later, that they had some finacial difficulties and in one case the husband had JUST lost his job! So... if i had gone with my first instinct and been a jerk or not sent them a card, which pretty much amounts to the same thing.... I would have felt horrible. So, we dont know whats going on in peoples lives at the time, i mean, if they could give you a gift, well... thats too bad... a gift is just that, a gift, if you cant handle that, then dont invite too many people.
Well it depends... If lets say you give them a huge engagement gift.. or a huge wedding shower gift... Then i dont think they should be obliged to give a gift. lets say you spend 600 dollars on an engagement gift.. i think that you wouldn't be obliged to give a wedding present.
Thanks for your thought, I completely agree w/you! But just to let you know no shower gifts either. Oh well! Thanks.
yea you wanna go out? .. maybe thursday?