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An example of my stories

thatdarngirl by thatdarngirlOG 2002 · Oct 15, 2003 · 106 views

Tears ran down his face as he clung to the bars. He felt so very trapped there amongst those animals. It was no longer a place of freedom for him as it had been. He kicked some of the popcorn at his feet and frowned more deeply as it stuck to the gum that was fused to the bottom of his shoe. He hated this place with a passion now. All those cheerful memories felt as though they were gone in a minute.

He had come there every Saturday afternoon to see his father since he was six. It was only a bus ride away, and his mother never complained since she was never around. It had been the only way he could see him. He would sit there on those cold seats and watch his dad through the steal bars, throwing an occasional smile his way. His dad was always too busy with his chores to talk much. However boring as some may have found it, he wouldn?t want to be anywhere else on Saturday.

It was where he made his first best friend. Tony was the best listener. Just what he needed through his mom?s second marriage and through his grandma?s death. He would sit there when his dad couldn?t visit with him and talk to Tony. The best part about Tony was that he was one of those people that didn?t always find the need to speak, but knew how to just listen. He was there for him when he needed him, always with a smile or a friendly nudge.

He would go home, bursting with stories of what happened that day to tell his mother. Though she would rarely listen, she despised his father. She said it was all his fault they were separated now; it was his fault he was where he was. She despised his father's position. His grandma said that was because she had always been a classy woman though. She would nod him along and send him to his room where he would sit dreaming about the next day he could spend with Tony and all the things he could tell him.

That was all gone now. It had been his time to leave those cold bars and empty rooms and be free once more. Society had let it?s grip on him loosen, only keeping a slight tag on him to ?check up? now and again. There last day together had been hard. Tony didn?t say much like always, but the look in his eyes was enough to tell him how much he would miss him. The same look was reflected back to him through stormy tears. Tony deserved to be free, but it didn?t make it any easier to let him go.

That was last Saturday, but this Saturday there he was again. Sitting there on the cold seats of the Zoo?s Tiger Den Exhibit watching his father feed and care for the new arrivals. They all came weak and left strong with his father?s tender care, fit for the wild again. He always loved watching his dad do his job, though the best part was gone now. However, he would never forget Tony, his first friend, and everyone?s favorite tiger.

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9 Comments

yodasucka #3 yodasuckaOG 2003

aw that was cute... two thumbs up babe!

ilikebirds #2 ilikebirdsOG 2002 stupid

I really like the part where you were talking about ' how tears ran down his face and he clung to bars' and then i forgot what i was doing.. took of my clothes and ran around yelling 'pudding is good.. pudding is bad.. pudding is good and bad'.

end of stupidest comment. EVAR !

T
#1 toxicgirlOG 2003

I had to read it twice, for some reason I needed to to go over it again to make the connection between characters-I don't know why, it was pretty clear. I liked the intro the best. And a side note, was the frosted flakes cartoon Tony the Tiger???

thatdarngirl #1.1 thatdarngirlOG 2002

Yes he was..but when I started writing it I didn't plan on it being a Tiger..I just kind of wrote.

ophelia #1.1.1 opheliaOG 2003

So you were basically tring to BAMBOOSLE the reader into thinking this kid's dad was in jail...and then, bam, the plot twists as the story ends & you find out he's a zoo keeper....

thatdarngirl #1.1.1.1 thatdarngirlOG 2002

Um..yes, that's pretty much what I was going for.

ophelia opheliaOG 2003

I wonder if anybody else picked that up....(oh & a lil side note, could you stop posting excerpts from my autobiography & calling them your stories)

thatdarngirl thatdarngirlOG 2002

Your dad's best friend was in jail but really ended up being a tiger?

ophelia opheliaOG 2003

It's a very long story..You seem to have posted the condensed version here to pasify our shorter attention spans....The real story includes swash-buckling action, damselles in distress, a mime afflicted w/asthma, murder, betrayal, and two dozen blueberry muffins.....

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