Deadline
by A recent game of truth or dare MAY HAVE or MAY NOT HAVE revealed some insight into the male mind. Apparently there's a deadline in which two friends of the opposite sex feel it is time to determine which way to go : stay friends or "get wit." Truth or...?
AI Summary
127 Comments
who plays truth or dare past 15 years old?
It's a great drinking game!
you said it, brother
HAHAHAHA thai i thought the SAME exact thing bfore i even read your post. LOL
And whatever happens. Never play the YOU, Me , and Dupree drinking game.
Everytime someone in the movie says " YOu , me, or dupree " shot or i suggest sip something.
it's baaad
that might of actually made that movie bearable.
Aww..I liked that movie.
"Ah, I hurt my little Duprees!"
really it is just the fact that you love owen wilson. hahah. shanghi noon & knights were on the other day and we were at the dinner table and gary starts going, "uno mas?" and moose was like, "no mas gary. no mas"
This very well might be the reason; I love me some Wilson brothers.
who doesnt? i recently saw luke wilson filming a skit with three six mafia and all the jackass guys. a lil awkward.
SHOT!
so is pin the tail on the donkey
i'm actually curious about this game of truth or dare. what led u to this conclusion?
it was so long ago lol Let me reach back into my mind. brb :)
Ok so I think I remember this guy's perspective: When he meets a girl for the first time and becomes friends with her, not too much time elapses before he decides for himself if he wants to remain just friends or pursue something more. Let's say he decides to pursue it, and she is NOT responsive, he basically feels the moment has passed. He continues to remain just friends with her. Only, what if later she starts to have feelings? See what I'm saying?
I think it depends on what the guy's objective is. There are some guys I know that pursue purely platonic friendships with a great amount of girls, with no intention to date them. Others see every girl as a potential relationship and so when the girl doesn't respond, he is on to the next. Make sense? I guess it really depends on the way you do things.
It's Freudian - He said that men and women are completely motivated by their libido. The way you speak, walk, talk. I think it depends on whether or not you believe that. It's diffucult to say if even the most commited spouses could be completely platonic with someone else; even if just in their subcontious.
i don't think THE MOST COMMITTED SPOUSE could have ONLY a COMPLETELY PLATONIC relationship with another person. someone will come along, at some point, and they will have thoughts. and thats not wrong. it's the actions and the way they let it impact they're marriage that could be a problem. I mean, look at Mike! He's married AND the biggest skirt-chaser on Ezabel.
Yeah... that's what I said.
Totally. I was agreeing.
Oh, I'm sorry. It sounded like you were disagreeing. My bad!
I have really great male friends in my life right now - and also there are guys out there that I was friends with as a teenager and we really don't keep in touch anymore but I would still totaly stick up for them like they're my brothers if need be. And I guess it's different because I'm married so there is no chance of anything ever happening but even before that, I always thought that it is possible for a guy and a girl to be just friends if that's what they both really want. Especially if they are both dating or married to other people. It's like having an extra brother. Well that's my opinion.
And I know there is a huge double standard when it comes to this because I think it's totaly okay for me to have male friends but i do kinda get jealous of my husband's female friends even though they're my friends too.. haha... but if my husband ever told me he was jealous of my male friends I would be like "WHAAAAAT?!?!??!?!" .. lol.... and I can understand how other guy's girlfriends may not be okay with their boyfriends having female friends... it's a huge double standard and I don't really know why it exists... but it does... soooo i do a little ditty and it's okay
thats so funny because the guys i meet are intimidated of my male bestfriend. I'm like "dude, seriously, if we never hooked up or fell in love when were young and foolish it's not gonna happen now that we're older and wiser" to me its almost incestuous or something.
This double standard definetly exists! I have seen it in action.
it's a hairy subject. it just depends on the people. how secure they are with themselves and how their mind works. it's good when a couple has an equally strong and easy going possessivenes of each other. trust and SELF-assurance that you're mate isn't thinking of another person in an improper manner or witholding jokes, fun times, or feelings TO ME is very important. also when you're together with someone for a long time an emotional shorthand is created and you know exactly how far you "stray" from you're mate when hanging with friends. this all could be debated forever though. so many variables.
yeah. I definitely wouldn't be allwoed to be friends with Maynard. Lol
or Jolie for that matter!
hahaha that's funny. Maynard > Jolie
i dont think there should be. But my take anyway, is that if you are becoming close to somebody of the opposite sex, its tough to "just be friends"
unless they are insane or ugly. Then it would tough for them to be friends with you because you are so hot...
Wow I read this and thought it said insanely ugly.
i disagree, you could have a buncha friends that are girls, its just moving to the point of kicking it to the next level. There are obvious bounderies that you would have like any other kind of relationship.
but when the person is of the opposite sex, there's always that possibility that someday something potentially COULD happen. that's not there with a friend of the same sex (hopefully)
also, one person in this platonic relationship might start to feel one way and the other may not...
or the girl could just be evil and change her mind every single second about what she wants
i think the latter supercedes the former.
i defer on this. there are quite a few boys that i have known since i was 7. and we are all really close but neither i nor them have ever developed different feelings for eachother other than friendly feelings. other people can give you odd motives, but i truly know that our realtionshiops are just that of big brother, lil sister. couldnt be anything more.
it's different when you've known somebody since you were little, usually
yeah but even newer guy friends. ya cant just say that they cant be friends because it depends on what each person wants. you may think of just being friends but they aren't.
also, other people have become weird around other sthat they had grown up aroiund. differnet people, different perspecitves.
It's all based on the people involved.
When you're as outRAGEously handsome as MK, it's hard for any girl to be JUST FRIENDS with him.
hahaha. the thought that you may have actually made that comment and been serious put me in laughing. haha.
Say it with me-- Jesse Hughes lights my fire.
hahaha
hahahaha whooooa. what's this? hmm....
It's a game. We had to take a guy's name that we've known for a loooong time and view as just a friend (and could never possibly view otherwise) and admit our undying love and lust for him.
Example:
Brad Bell is sooooooo hott!!
[]It has more of a kick when you say it out loud[]
and it wasnt just that. it was like brad bell is so hott that i want to take all his hair and make myself a coat for warmth and to smell like him when not around. hahahaha., such ghey stuff. hysterical in my opinon though.
ugh, lol... he does have the austin powers chest hair going on
its not just austin powers. its much more like chewbacca, the wookie. fully covering hair all over his body.
hahahaha that is so funny. i don't think i would ever be able to play that game. i couldn't even bring myself to jokingly say that about some of my long time guy friends. i would gag
hahhahahah i totally forgot about that game!!!! we could never say it without breaking into hysterics. did you ever do it right? jesse hughes blah blah blah. great game. it still is really funny.
I am actually very good at this game!
isn't it better to be "just friends" with that person than nothing at all?
sometimes that's an impossibility
thats why matt keeps his distance from me, he told me it would hurt to much to hang out ... i dunno... hes got problems...
mike... you are literally a fag
literally. like you literally want to meet other gays and literally do gay things with them
hahahaha, the word literally totally makes me think mike is gay. perfect.
so his marriage was jsut a cover up??? tsk tsk tsk
i LITERALLY find this comment soo funny, hahahahahahha
i mod it wishful thinking... sorry my limp wristed friend... dont swing like that.
i don't get it...i feel like i don't read english, because i totally don't get this journal...can somebody explain it slowly to me?
a male and a female are friends. sometimes these good friends hook-up, sometimes they do not. in this entry, gr8heights was wondering if there is a "stop" point from these friends turning the friendship into a relationship.
Yes that's what I'm getting at..thank you!
like a "we can't talk as much or hang out as much" point?
Yes, like that.
aww, you edited it! haha, it makes more sense now
and....i've never really been put in that situation or known people who have...so, now that i get it, i've got nothing insightful to say, haha
:o) It's all good.
yes you have. you've been in that position. i've seen it. i've chaperoned you, remember ... ?
hmm, i'll ez msg ya
Yeah you have.....didn't you do that to my brother?
I dont like getting involved in conversations like this I just like reading about it. However, if your in the truth and you spend that much time with a member of the opposite sex shouldnt it be with something long term in mind. I am down with having opposite sex friends, but if both are good lookin as Birds said, something will/may happen anyway. Also like in socal girls case if she hangs out with a good looking guy that is really hot and everyone thinks they are a couple who is going to be interested in her from a guys point of view, all the other guys are going to be thinking she has a real hot best friend and they talk and have fun, how can I compete with that.
Yes I do believe something should be set in time, or at least mentioned cause eventually one or both will meet someone they do like and someone will get hurt if the other is waiting for something to happen
the best comment EVER in this thread...
this is great and you do make valid points. thank you!
there is a problem with brothers not liking me having a guy as a best friend. thats insecurity to me. if he's too insecure to know that my friend and i are just friends its not worth my time because he's jumping the gun and not getting to know me.
take it if he's a little insecure, gets to know me, and realizes there's nothing going on between my friend and i, then thats a secure brother to me because he's not letting anything stand in the way of getting to know me and that rules in my book!
Exactly. There's no big rule that says because you are a girl, you have to have a girl best friend. Sometimes you just click better with guys, even though there isn't a romantic link there.
Well, is there nothing between you two??? You sure? Sometimes other guys are insecure but sometimes it's a good defense mechanism...no one wants to get hurt finding out later you actually were feelin your best. A guy backed up from me because I seemed too comfy with my guy friend and good thing cuz he was right.
One problem, your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend SHOULD BE your best friend.
If you have a best friend of the opposite sex, thats a great place to start if your looking for someone, half the job is already done.
It has nothing to do with insecurity on my part, only thing is if I date/marry someone I want to be her best friend, I want the inside jokes, the old school stories. I wanna know her likes and dislikes, her favorite movies and songs. I dont want to have to start way behind some other guy who already knows these things.
I agree on that. My husband is by far, my absolute best friend, and vice versa.
But what if a girl has a guy best friend for YEARS, and then meets a random guy? She doesn't know yet if she's gonna marry him, or even date him. Does that mean that she automatically has to give up her current best friend because she could potentially have a relationship with the random guy?
Now, if a relationship were to develop between the girl and random guy, THEN I could forsee the guy best friend maybe taking second place to the new guy. Because you're right...a husband and wife should be best friends.
Of course, I have a couple different "best friends" outside of my husband. I wouldn't neccessarily tell them EVERYTHING I would tell my husband, but my "close friends" are typically my "best friends."
And I'm done rambling now, hahaha.
I am not saying you have to give up your best friends for your husband/wife. The original question was
"Apparently there's a deadline in which two friends of the opposite sex feel it is time to determine which way to go : stay friends or "get wit.""
I am saying if you have a best friend of the opposite sex you should discuss these things, even if you dont feel something for the person he might feel that way for you. Also being someone's best friend is a great start for a relationship, and you may say well your going to lose your friend that way if it doesnt work out, well odds are you will lose him/her anyway when one of you do meet someone, its just nature.
Let me pose this question, how would you feel if you were at a party or something with a guy your seeing and his best friend (a girl) is there and they are laughing and joking and talking about things you have no idea about making you feel left out, and BTW - Shes also hot. I know this, if a guy is my best friend i know there are serious feelings there, like Peter and Jesus, how much more so with someone of the opposite sex. Sometimes you you have to check yourself and make sure your not playing with yours or his emotions.
Oh absolutely....I'm not disagreeing with you at all. i was just trying to bring up a side point, and pose a "what if" scenario as well.
Personally, if that party scenario happened to me, no, I wouldn't like it at all. I've been in similar situations and it's no fun, you're right.
oh yes, i totally agree. i'm not saying that the one i marry isn't going to take over the best friend position. I never make my boyfriends feel left out or anything like that. they totally have my attention 110%. Never have i ever made them feel uncomfortable nor uncertain of my feelings.
I love this, what you're saying. Where have you been?? Good use of the "how much more so" lol you're right, I've learned this lesson recently. It takes self-awareness.
So I guess there needs to be discussion on this matter with him...and sort of "where are we going to go from here" and I guess it's not a DEADline because I'm thinking now if the friendship remains as is, there may be check points along the way...until the finish line where he finds someone, or I find someone or we find eachother...
and plus at first, they can't know all the inside jokes. it first has to be explained to them and then they'll know it all. but at first they're gonna feel weird.
LOL it's serious. we've never had feelings for each other. it would be incestuous. LOL my ex always looked at it this way: if we NEVER hooked up when we were young with horomones in FULL rage, even when we'd be drunk partying (we were both worldly for a while) then there was never a chance that we would ever hook up later in life.
I'm so not "typical" and i am very picky. jsut because he has looks doesn't mean he's "husband" material. I know what i want in a man and he doesn't fit what i am looking for. so it's all aobut him being the brother i never had
:) fully understood.
Yeah i think if you meet a girl and you like her then you owe it to yourself to find out more. If she seems like she is friendly with a guy and theres no intimacy and she seems friendly with you when you two speak/hang out, etc.. Then see but do so with a caution.
I was in this situation once and it seemed like a three-way race when i had it wrong and the particular woman liked only me but was sweet and shy. So there were other guys she was nice to but didn't like and wouldn't tell them to get lost, until, of course, she began dating.
So you never know, but remember there is a loss/hearbreak factor, because, "There's always another guy, that's already caught her eye. He's supposed to just be a friend, but he's been there when she cried." So you and your insticts may be right, but they may not...
True dat pap pap. No one ever thinks about the person that got hurt. She starts dating someone else and he sits home crying. Its like Duckie from Pretty in Pink he was always there for her, but she never thought of him like that and then she dates the other guy and he gets seriously hurt.
It's true none of us want to get hurt by taking the risk on someone we think is a friend but the truth is always the best course.
its the same with a female friend, not just male. she's seen you cry, she's been there for you and has seen you at your worst. so whether its male or female, there was always someone before you.
BUT that's the fun of a new romance. you get to start your own "inside jokes" sharing of frustrations, etc. but its something you build, something that doesn't come automatic.
it's all a gamble.
hmm, no...i take it that she's saying if two people are really good friends and see each other and talk to each other all the time, then they have to make a choice to cut back on that talking, or get together.
Oh, my bad. What you did was worse....got it.
value your opinion...not
Wow....guess we can't take a little harmless joking around? It's not good to take things so seriously.
Seriously Courtney...it was just a little harmless, innocent ribbing. Sorry if you took it as otherwise, but don't get worked up over it.
I'd certainly not discuss that whole issue out in the open...hahaha....that would be silly.
No, that would be entertaining! I think it SHOULD be out in the open, because my imagination is SPEEDING! I always knew Tinser was a salty dog! A wreckless heart breaker! Bahaha!
No....I'm not like that. I understand the fascination, but I have to leave your imagination to go crazy. Sorry for the disappointment.
honestly, theres are too many asides. the point is obscured. i'm her BRO and i don't fully understand whats going on. i'm thinking maybe she's talking about her self.
"Were you just in there?" Dude, where's your coherence? and yes I happen to be in a kind of sim situation but what really made me wonder was what my friend said, how after a while of just being friends with a girl, if he had the slightest interest in her he throws it out and that's it. Just moves on, no longer chooses to see her in that light. Has anyone done that?
i can totally see how the attraction can develop. you're with this friend a lot, know the ins and outs of him. if you 2 were both attracted to each other its jsut like being attracted with any other joe schmo. throw it out there if your interested in him, if you're really good friends, he won't be weirded out or anything or if you feel he's attracted to you as more than friends, approach him. if you both don't wannna go "there" then just leave as is.
if you 2 were meant to be more than friends it'll happen, when the time is right....w/o a dealine.
I've heard of this...one sister and her good friend decided if neither was married by a certain age, why not take the plunge together.
In my opinion not the brightest idea.
not at all...who wants to be second best? "oh i couldnt find anyone i really liked so youll do"?!
kind of like that movie my best friends wedding
if you cant be with the one you love
love the one your with
that sounds like an "i like you but i'm not gutsy enough to say it so how about i tell you a few years from now" situation...
Well I didn't really mean that exactly...I mean like you're friends with a guy for a while, maybe he likes you but you're not sure. Maybe you like him but you're not sure. If you don't drop any hints because you're content at the moment does the guy tend to just say "Well if we're not gonna go for it then, that's it. We'll just continue to be friends forever and nothing more."? This is one guy's opinion and I'm trying to discern if it's universal.
i don't think there is a deadline. But i do think that sometimes if nothing happens one person can get impatient and lose interest. In which case it wasn't meant to be anyway..
If he is hot and she is hot... Something WILL happen
If she is hot and he is NOT... Something MIGHT happen
If she is not hot and he is HOT...Most Likely Won't Happen
AMENDMENT :
If she is NOT hot and he is NOT HOT... Something MIGHT HAPPEN
If she is a sad Panda and he is TY... MOST DEFINATELY WILL HAPPEN
profound...not exactly the way we'd like to think it should be but I think you've kinda got a point here.
yup. it's not sugar coated or anything. not how you want the world to work.. but there's no denying the truth.
dude, no way!!! won't happen even if they are both hot.
If you've thought it... you did it
my male best friend and i have NEVER thought of each other that way. he's a totally good looking guy too. People who don't know us compliment on what a good looking couple we are and we laugh and say "we're jsut friends" and we've never thought of each other that way.
during that truth or truth game my guy friend was saying if you've kept it on a friendship level for a long amount of time, the deadline has passed for interest to be developed.
maybe he likes me
hmmmm.....nah...
maybe he likes pandas
awww, i like pandas
Dude, you've NEVER seen a butt ugly couple?
yea, where's the love?
If he is NOT hot and she is NOT hot...it's in the bag
ugly people need lovin too..
more things in common between you two. GO FOR IT
point is.. you'll quicker see a hot chick run to her friends and say " i got a new boyfriend.. he's so sweet, funny, caring.. but he's not a great looker" to her girlfriends
but you WON'T see a guy run to his guy friends and say " oh man.. she's so nice, and sweet, she treats me right.. but she's ugly "....
Ty, you're throwin' it down on this one. *applause*
BUT if shes got a fake rack....a decent bod and a TOTALLY ugly face you'll see a HOT guy go for an ugly chick like that
Totally...seen it happen a zillion times
well thats different. A guy still isnt' gonna call her a GIRLFRIEND..
he's gonna call her a Quick fix
this is totally a sinbab sketch. he talks about women can be proud of their men no matter what but guys are so shallow they be married 20 years and still say they're only friends if their wife is ugly.
HAHAHA and they have selective hearing! lol
I really don't think there's a "deadline" per se, but there are certain situations that you'll find yourself in that test whether your friends for life