How to get him to make the first move
by Most (or at least many) girls like for guys to make the first move in a "relationship." But that doesn't mean we sit idly by waiting for Prince Charming to walk up. As they say, guys often think they are taking the first step when they've actually been summoned. The plot really gets muddy when you meet an out of towner, say at a party or quickbuild, and you have a great time, but there's a chance you'll never see them again.
Soooo ladies, what do you (or your girls) do to get a guy to notice you (or remember you)?
PS - By now, we should all know new boots and colorstay lipstick are examples of thins that never work.
AI Summary
73 Comments
I met some one a coupla years ago and decided that he would like me. And it happened. And then we lost touch for a coupla years cuz of whatever, and now again, going to see him this weekend.... So girls, you don't HAVE to be obvious or anything. Just nice... ha ha ha... right.... !!!
if a guy doesn't make the move all on his own...he doesn't want you bad enough anyway, and isn't worth the trouble
that's your opinion because you're CHICKEN!! too scared to take a chance, i bet
when i see somebody worth taking a chance on...i'll do it...anyway, my mom says that the guy should like you more then you like him...and i think it's true, i'm not into chasing guys...too many girls do that.
ugh...such a waste...these "playing hard to get games"...it's sooo 80s
no, that's not what i mean...it's not playing hard to get....but i'm not gonna go crazy over a guy who doesn't show interest in me...i've seen too many girls hurt because they like guys who don't like them back. I'm not into that, if a guy shows me interest, and I like him back, then cool...i'll go for him...no playing hard to get...but i'm not gonna go after guys that don't show interest in me most likely, unless i totally felt we clicked, and then...he probably would too.
yeah, but, that's ridiculous. what about persistance? what about the struggle?? what about working hard for what you want??? what about guys or girls who YOU may be interested in because of a certain reason, but they don't know what they want in life yet?? Are you going to just GIVE UP?? FIGHT for what you believe in. I'm not kidding. DECIDE if that person is worth it, either they are, or they aren't. Chances are, they dont' even know you think that they're worth fighting for.
hmm, yeah...convicing arguement...i don't know...at the moment i'm jaded...relationships stink
here here i fully agree with that
let's start a club
what are we calling it?
hmm, i don't really know...any ideaS?
i don't want everybody thinking i'm the girl who thinks relationships stink, cause they don't when they are going right, they definitely don't. It's just when they don't go well...then they stink
you should call it "kids against kids against that rabbit having trix"
Dan..I can't believe you said that!! I had this club and sent out a newsletter and everything like Junior year and it was called "Kids against kids against rabbits eating trix". Simply amazing.
hHAHAHAH...this cracks me up...i was really making a joke because i first heard you and malibu talk about it in 20k leagues...and i was practically crying b/c you were like "I came up with kids against rabbits eating trix" and she was like "i came up with kids against kids against rabbits eating trix"...BAWHAAHHAH...this joke will never grow old
you really sent out a newsletter?? what sort of news could POSSIBLY be in there?
I was trying to get a petition started to save the rabbit!
in school, they have this "Phenominal Women" club where all these chicks meet and talk about how society does them wrong haha i think we should have a club like this...also freshman year, me and my friends had an "I Hate Boys Club" that worked till we meet new boys and gave up on it....
hah that is so PCU feminist junk
the she man men hating club???
guess where its from.
i dont hate men
haha ok i just found this quote online and i had to post it up in here:
BOYS=Bitter Obnoxious Yucky Skanks!!
you need to work out some of your male hostility issues.
wow, that was inspirational
yeah, i'm like freakin jerry maguire
well, ya know what...i decided i don't agree...because if you see a guy, who is cute or something, but he doesn't show any interest in you...so what? You were just basing your interest on his looks anyway. If you know a guy, and you're friends with him, and he doesn't like you back, well that's okay...keep being friends with him, you're right, maybe he isn't ready for it, but making advances is only going to push him further away. My point isn't, give up on guys completely if they don't like you, my point is...don't put your whole heart into somebody who isn't going to like you, because you'll just get hurt.
see, i don't agree with that either. getting hurt is OK, because it makes you appreciate the person who really IS worthwhile even more. you can't spend your life going "sorry, can't get hurt, dont' talk to me", while burying your feelings in the sand so you don't get your ego bruised. that's not how the world works. GET OUT THERE! GET YOUR HEART BROKEN! EXPERIENCE THE FEELINGS! Dashboard made $$$ on this, so can you.
I can't believe I am saying this...but I kinda agree with Dan. Another benefit to getting hurt--sometimes you start to see the person in a realistic light. You find out that you were just infatuated and that you were totally overlooking major flaws or major reasons why it wasn't going to work. At least in my case, it has sometimes taken rejection and disappointment to reach enlightenment.
yeah. see. that's what i'm saying. but i think you see what you really DID like about that person, and separate that from THEM. like, they really liked kids, or they treated their parents well, or they could cheer up a sad person really easily, some quality that attracted you. qualities attract in the big adult world, not looks. but - so many girls...don't show any qualities. they show that they know where all the parties are. i hate that. i could find all the parties on my own, if i really wanted to go.
yyyyup...humans are forever voluntarily blinding themselves to obvious flaws&negative personality traits simply because of infatuation...not that we shouldn't look for the good in people, but, a mistake made by many is basing everything on emotion & totally ignoring things that you KNOW might piss you off about this person if you get involved...because after you're going out w/a girl for a while, the physical aspect of the attraction kinda becomes common place & what you're really affected by is personality, which can make a hot girl ugly or an attractive girl even more beautiful
who cares if you appreciate the person even more? I've loved...i appreciated...but i can't have them...so where does that get me? Really, i'd rather be without the pain then knowing i loved them...not that i'd trade it all in...but, I wouldn't be so quick to rush into a relationship that i knew wouldn't work out...i think you watch too many movies...not every relationship has to be a struggle
wow...are you serious...every relationship is a struggle, one way or another..you may not realize it right away, because the beginning can be smooth. eventually issues do appear. You've loved and appreciated...that's good. Now, you know what you like, and what you appreciate. You'll value those qualities in the next person you become interested in. But you NEVER would have known what those qualities were if you just rejected people left and right because they didn't like you back right away.
nobody can get to know everybody though, it's impossible...so you aren't getting to know if you'd really click with those people...unless you get every person's number at every party....you may, but I...dont. You guys are not getting what i'm saying....i am just saying, that i dont jump on every guy i think is cute to trade phone numbers with me....because, if it's meant to be....i'll run across him again, i'll have talked to him enough the first time to get it, or...it'll just work out somehow....i'm not crying in my room because i thought hey, that guy was cute...i wonder if it could have worked out, darn after he said hello, i should have asked him for his phone number
this is a majorly wussy way to deal with relationships. i have less respect for girls that risk nothing in their relationships. the girls who sit and wait for guys to scoop them up are just weak. if a major component in your attraction to males is the fact that HE likes YOU--i dunno--it won't turn out right. girls should always put at least a little work in. the feeling of meeting someone half way and working toward a very special connection is pure bliss.
ugh, everybody is misunderstanding what i'm saying...so this is it....i'm done posting here...just disregard it all, okay?
brian...you are definitely right. i admire the risk takers, because i like the "am i in control? or is she?" ideas that constantly flow through your head. hahah.
....i definitely think i know the meaning of persistance...if i want to fight for something, i do...i was in a relationship where every single day of my life for a year and a half, i got hell for liking the guy my parents hated. It was one of the hardest things i've ever gone through, but i didn't give up....so don't imply that i'm not persistant or won't go through a struggle for what i want...cause if that's what you think, you're wrong
80s? As in 1880's? Clearly you don't read Jane Austen.
i totally support this comment.. if the guy is interested... he'll make the move on his own... of corse we can do our part in flirting and letting him know that we are at least a little interested.. but the rest if up to him... girls should NOT chase guys... it should DEF be the other way around... there are far too many girls who get attached to these guys who never make a move then they are all heart broken and such... so the conclusion of the matter, all things being said is boys are stupid...
we can be. that much is true. and when we are: boy, is it a mess. it's funny how girls go around saying stuff like that and guys don't, for the most part. nowadays girls are raised to have whats thought to be a healthy measure of contempt for guys. s'strange. but, anyway, i do agree with you're slant on girls CHASING guys. not cool. HOWEVER participating in the initiation and early cultivation of a relationship is something they should be very involved in. i stand by that.
i agree. i think girls are really brought up to be automatically hating on boys... and we do for the most part take EVERY chance we get to prove our ideas right, such as every time a guy makes a little mistake its all "o that is such a typical guy thing to do! i hate boys blah blah blah" and we get all our girl friends to also hate on that male (haha i love that about us!) and yea just cuz i think girls shouldn't be chasing guys doesn't mean i don't fully believe that we have our own weight to pull once a relationship is started.. i'm all for equal shares of making a relationship work...
that's what i mean....i think it's good for the relationship to be mutual...but when a girl chases a guy who clearly doesn't like her...it only creates problems. I've seen it happen, and I don't think its good...its not even good when a guy chases a girl too much, but it happens less often and seems to be more accepted.
This is probably gonna come out wrong, but, here goes...I think there is something in men that they intuitively don't like to be chased. It might be environmental, as in, guys are raised to do the chasing. But regardless, I've seen girls use pretty mild tactics, like asking for a phone number, or calling a guy to go to a movie, and be labeled a hussy. And the inverse of that is that I think a lot of girls feel like if a guy isn't willing to take the initiative in a relationship, there probably isn't anything there. There are NO blanket rules, of course. But I think these situations must have arisen for a reason. Being a girl myself, I have no objections to showing I'm potentially interested, say dropping a guy a postcard when I'm out of town or seeking him out for conersation at a party. But I wouldn't "chase" a guy, like ask for a date, or worse, just tell him I'm interested, because I know that guys generally assume this role, and the fact that he isn't probably means something - that he isn't interested. I'm much more comfortable just making it clear that I'm available and enjoy his company.
i also agree that a girl can initiate something w/o "chasing". get on common ground w/ the guy (even if it means finding out a little something about him from a trusted friend) and if the conversation goes well invite him somewhere you both would like to go. you will be able to judge your situation fairly well from there. i'm a total master at this hahahaha. no seriously, it works :)
you know what I absolutely love?..girls that are super nice to everybody they know, so every guy that likes the girl, thinks he might have some sort of a chance...except, this is not true, she only likes a few...but, when these few that she DOES like find out that she's nice to everybody, they start to wonder if they're just another victim of the indiscriminate niceness..so then, they start doubting, they don't make a move, & nobody wins....haha...I think all girls should act like they absolutely hate guys they're not attracted to, and then shower the one's they do like w/attention..THIS would make things a lot simpler, less variables to sort through, black, & white..no gray....hip hop hooray
oh ex-ey i'm sorry if i've given you false hope. i'm no longer interested in you since i found that bunderwear in your couch.
hahahaha.....I keep telling you those were MY undergarments....so what they had somebody elses name written on them, you know I go by many titles
so you're name is Nick?? and you wear red leopard thongs? sorry this is a sale i'm not buying, bubber.
see, these are the kind of things that you don't post for public viewing
then maybe you shouldn't have participated in such scandalous acts!
I read your comment and thought you wrote, "Shower with the ones they are attracted to"
I thought,"Man, eZabel is really going down hill. I want some icecream. Oh Dr. Phil is on."
hmmm....hey, that, that would definitely be a sure fire way for a girl to let a guy know she likes'm..not to much missunderstanding could go down there, haha..but...it's also a one way ticket to the B-SCHOOL...
true, but your the one who came up with the idea not me, Im not the one suggesting everyone go take showers with everyone else you perv.
Your the one with the problem
this must be a comedy piece, because it should never ever be this complicated. the games you kids get up to, whew!!!
I was always one of those types who didn't do anything for attention because I thought I'd never get any (attention). So when I finally did get noticed, I was very suprised.
this is crazy talk. she was a total catch and she didn't even know it. now i make sure she knows it and even more important--BELIEVES it. tho i get scared she'll realize how awesome she is and dump me for someone else! YIKES! jk
i dont' think she's that great. but don't be suprised if i collapse..down at your feet again
Women use all the pick up lines listed in the other thread to get men's attention.
We all know that us women use our powers guys cant resist the "body language" basically we circle our prey check them out then when we lock eyes we send out the signal... and our prey is caught ;-)
never underestimate the importance of, "BODY LANGUAGE"..
HAH now whyyyy would you go and get me started:
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who get's a man
flash me. or just say HI WHATS UP.. you're HOT. CALL ME.
Sooooo, you like the wiles of...er... Monica Lewinsky?
hahahahah, I was going to say the same thing...(flash him)...but I didn't want to be "inappropriate". But for some reason, you always seems to be able to get away with that. Probably because you're higher up on the perv list than me
or just touch you inappropriately? like in your bathing suit area for example?