Looking for my real family
I went to Hamilton St. last night, nice show all. And as an added benefit I do believe I sweated so bad that my body is relieved of any impurities and toxins.
Anyhow, I cam home from NJ today to find my house swamped with family. I walk in the door and first thing my Aunt does is poke me in the butt to let everyone know that I have a hole in my pants around the back pocket. So nice. Then I go in my room and my aunt tells me that since her friend snores, she slept in my room. No big deal until...she tells me that my uncle came in the room to talk to her and layed on the bed also. She told me that I would probably want to wash the sheets. Now, my aunt and uncle are brother/sister (so they didn't do anything gross in my bed). However, my uncle is an alcoholic and he smells bad all the time. A combination of beer oozing from his pores and infrequent bathing. It's very gross.
So as I throw my sheets in the washing machine I came to the conclusion that I must be adopted. There is no way that I share the same DNA with these people.
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8 Comments
aww, hang in there. some family members can be weird and obnoxious. i try to stay away from my unbelieving relatives as much as possible cuz they get crazy with alcohol sometimes.
everyone has WEIRD family members...i have a theory on it: for every normal person, there is are at least 5 weird relatives. don't even get me started on my weird relatives
ha ha,I like that theory, it sounds just about right!
my family must be mis-poportioned then. seems like im the only sane one and everyone else is... or maybe its the other way around
yeah, it's safe to say that we all have extremely strange and sometimes very screwed up family members. i've got more than a few stories. sex, drugs, alcohol, mental illness, suicide and around again. i know that we all love our families regardless. but sometimes i wonder where i'd be without my spiritual family.
It is true, every family has their share of freaks. Basically I was just venting over a less traumatic incident. There is always a more scandalous story tucked away somewhere...
time to turn the mattress inside-out
Relatives are interesting people. My mother's mom is awesome because she has a new york accent and encourages us to have 'fun' while we're young, meaning sex.