5 Fingers
by Friend:
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement.
Those three definitions are really different. I think I always used to qualify friends as a mixture of all three..but I think that second one should be taken away. I've been giving a lot of thought to this lately, Sociology just starts the old mind spinning.
Scenario: You hang out with a person a few times and one time you run into someone else you know. Introduction time! How do you introduce the person you're hanging with to the person you run into. Most likely it goes "This is my friend.." However, are they really your friend? Do you trust them, know them?
Perhaps I'm just having difficulty distinguishing between who I thought were my really good friends and just turned out to be normal friends, not someone I should really confide in. For anyone who knows me fairly well, they know I like to talk a lot. It never bothered me that I told tons of people lots of things about me and my life, what was going on with me and all. But maybe those things should really only be confided in certain people, close friends that really fit the first and third definition of friendship.
I think in this system people are just trusting other people less and less, with most likely good reason too, and maybe everyone just has to be careful. My mom said if you can count the number of -true- friends on your one hand when you die you did ok. That's pretty sad.
"What new friends will the day bring? One for one thousand acquainted"
AI Summary
45 Comments
Maybe it would be better if you counted all the good friends you have had throughout your life...ppl change and that can't be helped. But at one point, you and this other person may have been inseperable. That's happened to me many times. I deal with it and appreciate what they gave me and what they contributed to my personality.
If you're talking about people in the world, then I absolutely agree that you should be extremely careful, and, in fact, I doubt that I would ever call anyone who is not a witness my friend. And I even felt this way about other witnesses at one point, but now that I've thought about it a little more, I have to disagree. Peter says that we should love one another intensely from the heart. I don't see how you could do that and at the same time not want to call them your friend. This is not to say that you will never be hurt by what they do or say, (I know my friendship has, on at least one occasion, been fairly badly violated), but until a brother has proven that they can't be trusted with your friendship I feel that you have to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Well..again I said I'm not really talking about a particular person or people just thinking in general. BUT just because you love all the witnesses doesn't mean they're really all your friends, and definetly not by the first definition. A lot of times you can't always love all the brothers and sisters because of their personalities because sometimes your personality and theirs just doesn't mix. You can love them because of how hard they try and stay with Jehovah or love them for their love for Him. Maybe I'm wrong though.
Maybe I'm being too optimistic, but I really like to try to think of all the brothers as potential good friends. Maybe they'll never be your best friend, but they can at least be more than acquaintances.
Actually, what I worry about a lot is whether I'm being too close to someone who really doesn't want to be my friend. For example, as you mentioned in your original post, sometimes I worry about whether I should refer to someone as my friend when introducing them to someone else. Not because I don't consider them as a friend, but rather that I don't know if they consider me as one, and I wouldn't want to make it awkward for them.
Oooh perhaps you have contracted my paranoid disease? But don't worry about being too optimistic it's a lot better then being too pesimistic.
Haha. I've been paranoid since before you were born. :) And the brothers are really the only people I'm optimistic about. I'm usually the most pessimistic, (or, as I prefer to call it, realistic), person you could meet.
so your saying im not your friend anymore?
How do you keep finding me out mike!? That's exactly what I'm saying!!
Of course this doesn't really pertain to any one person..I was just thinking about people in general.
i'm ur friend Lynz!!! i heart you with all of my heart!
Yay!! My plan is working hahahaha I <3 2!!!
I second that. Mel how did that dorky song about best friends go?
best friends should stick together thats how it aught to be, so lets pretend i'm part of u and u r part of meeeeeeeee
yes you so complete me!
its pathetic that i knew that...
no no no no no. #2 is good. These are not the same LEVEL. IN other words, these are levels of friendships. I would call you a #2 friend...
Well thank you Pat you can be a number 2 for me too! But why is it out of order, because 1 and 3 seem pretty the same?
No i think it is in the right order, the order of importance. The most important type of friend is the #1. The second is the most common. The third is a degree removed. IN other words, someone who is not on eZabel all the time or at all might be aware of it an not opposed. But the don't disapprove of our obsession, so they are friends of Ezabel..
option 1 is a true friend, someone you confide in, and trust in. They help you when you need help, and even when you don't.
option 3 is more like our christian brotherhood. You don't know them well, but they are on your side, and will help you.
however that doesn't mean you couldn't confide in me. I'm not telling you to, because i think that you should try out a #2 friend for a while before you turn them into a #1 friend. But lately i've been finding #2's trying to make the jump and it truly is hard having many. Because they deserve your time and you want to give it to them....
Interesting..I never thought of it that way. I always wanted lots and lots of #1 friends, but maybe that's not the best idea. Hmm.
So yay I can confide in you!!! So..when I was 5 I was in preschool and my best friend lived next door and then she moved when I was like 10 and that made me really sad. ANd when I was in 6th grade I got really sick and I was never in school so all my friends stopped being my friends and I hate them and that's why I'm crazy..and I used to live in africa and wear only bear skin tunics...and my fingers are cold so I have to go run hott water on them but I'll be back in a few mintues to tell you more.
you are definitely a vault and a confidant.
I know that and some people like you know that (you're pretty confideable yourself), but i'm saying in general don't do it as a rule. I mean there are some where it's ok, but it's hard to tell who will tell everything and who will keep it to themselves and who really will give good advice.....
and sometimes a good friend won't give advice. they will just make you laugh and feel better....
that's true...i'm not good with the advice. i'm a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a heart to laugh with (i was trying to think of a way to put that last bit lol)
Yeah!! But sometimes you don't even want advice so that's even better you just needed to get it all out. I always feel like I should know what to say, but I rarely do so laughter works.
Lindsay, in these few months that we've known eachother, I think i've definitely come to exceed and transcend all 3 of these defnitions..I am...SUPER FRIEND!!!!!!..haha.....nah, but what's interesting is, when you first meet somebody that you like, you of course try to pursue some sort of relationship w/them...funny how some turn out being really close down the line & others just like stay acquaintences indefinately
Does this mean you will now always wear a special spandex costume whenever you're around me?
uh...do you want me to?......Bryan + Spandex = UNATRACTIVE²
spandex in general is unattractive. on sunday i saw a woman power walking with metallic red spandex pants. cringe.
Actually..my band name is Too Fat For Spandex because I consider everyone in the world too fat for spandex because no one should wear it..ever. I saw a very large woman one day wearing spandex and it frightened me.
so, since when are you in a band, liar?
okay, this has nothing to do with me, but mannnn is that a stank comment.
what?..she knows I love'r I'm just kidding around, lol
I'm in a band..we just don't have any instruments..or songs..we just have a name so no one else can steal it until I do form a band!!
i completely agree with this. i have a good friend and i have really only known her for maybe 4 months. but we see eachother and jump up and down and i love this girl. so much fun together.
but then are people i've known since i was 7 that i still count them as friends and invite them when i throw parties but i don't know them that well or are not as happy to see them as i am to see her.
yeah..I think it's all based on the impression you get of somebody from the first couple times you meet them...whether impression is based on how they really are, or not, it usually sticks & determines whether you want to get any closer to them
see the first time i met her (about a year ago) i got such a bad impression. then when i met her again a few months ago i didn't realize she was the same person and the way she acted that day made me like her.
to me, friendship kinda has 3 levels. here goes:
Friend - someone who you talk to/hang out with time to time. you don't really talk about personal matters, but they're pretty much an acquaintance and it's nice to hang around them when you're feeling lonely.
Good Friend - someone who you talk to/hang out with often. you can trust this person a little more and share some personal matters, but nothing deep. you might even call each other up on the phone time to time. you really like hanging out with this person.
Best Friend - someone who you talk to/hangout with almost all the time. you can trust this person with your life and share deep personal matters. you are always comfortable around this person, and even when you guys hang out and neither of you talk at all, you would still call that a conversation itself because of the moment shared. you love this person, nothing sexual, but just being around them.
oh but i don't use these terms when i talk in conversation. just something mental in my head.
I like this! It makes sense.
i also like the way he categorized them using new speak
Yes! New speak would make everything so much easier! Why not instead of having "all right, wonderful and amazing" not have "not good, good, very good"