So My Mom Called me...
by Now I love my mom, I heart her. I love my dad - I heart him too... actually my dad is the reason things are so good. He is awesome.
But over the last few months, I'd moved out and live about two hours away. Now my mom and I get along so increasingly well now - do to the fact that we are not living together anymore. All the day to day stuff we used to argue about is gone and now we get along a lot better.
Problem is, she would really like me to move home. Come back and live there and revert to home life again.
As I wrote before - It doesn't usually snow in Florida... my plans are not really including moving home again. Even if I did move back to Jersey, it may not be there. Of course home is home and its a good safety net to have, but I really don't want to go backwards.
There are a lot of awesome things that have come out of living on my own... I just don't want to give it up to move home so quickly - I would if I had too - but what on do I tell my mom?
She is even enlisting my grandma to tell me to come home... she's playing dirty... the nana card.
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wait so you live in florida and nj is 2 hours away? sweet
if that were the case that would be awesome, cuz i would be living in FL too... but alas Lauren & i live in PA.
sorry to hear that
If that were the case it'd be sooooo sweet... oh man i just realized that is word for word almost what tina wrote... lol
she's just starting to miss u not being at home. give her more frequent and longer visits when you can. or give her tina as a trade-off.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
no dice, they'll have to fight me for tina.
well, she may need a new son too
sure why not - they can both move in...
yeah i know she just misses me, i miss her too - but it is better this way - us living apart... i love her.
hey your parents studied with mine :D without your parents, i don't know if i'd be writing on here right now.
wow, thats a pretty cool connection...i think that's what it's all about
I think that is soooooooo cool too - It's such a small world in Jehovah's organization. It is so amazing - tell your parents I said hi!!
well i say just move to brooklyn with your roomate and we can have one big happy hall.
that'd be so cool - my yearlong weekend would continue...
ps. perhaps though we should clear up the sausage party incident - lol.
My mom is the same way. I'm married with a kid, and my mom lives 10 minutes away. She sort of thought it would always be like that, but recently my husband and I are getting the urge to move to Phoenix. My mom is really pushing for us to stay where she is, and she's even said that we could move in with her when she moves back to PA....not an option at all. I think this is the "empty nest" thing parents go through. I think your mom just really misses you, and she may be having trouble adjusting to you not being under her roof 24/7. My suggestion is to stay living on your own (as long as it's good for you and your situation, and you can afford it), because I really feel that flying solo for a while can be good for you, if done carefully. Let your mom know that this is a good experience for you to have, and it will really help you to grow as a person (it does, no matter how old you are ), and you really feel it would hinder you to move back home right now, because the time isn't right for you. Your parents sound very loving, and if you present it in a manner that shows them that this is something you need to do (for yourself, especially), then while they may not like it, I'm sure they will understand and give you their full support. I've noticed with my mom, if I don't tell her how I'm feeling, and I let her go on thinking I'm considering something, she goes overboard. That may be why your mom keeps pushing you....she may think it's working. My suggestion is to just talk to her.
good advice. thank you.
Only thing is talking has always been easier said than done... but I will try again and again...
I totally understand. My mom and I are the same way. I have to tell her things no less than 5 times sometimes, before she starts to get it. But maybe persistence will work in your favor....she'll see how serious you are about it. Hope all goes well!!! :)
i was the EXACT same way, ask anybody that knows me and my moms relationship BEFORE i moved out, we were CRAZY huge arguments left and right cause we both are stubborn. But the second i moved out it was 50 times better, maybe when you move back in, it might be differnt, but i agree with what specialK says... maybe you shoudl talk to her about it.
yeah, me too. and maybe your mom feels that b/c you are getting along so well now that it will be the same if you move back in. but it won't. it will probably be worse b/c now you are used to being on your own and making your own rules, etc. I would imagine it would be hard going back to living under your parents again.
it's like going from cable back to dial-up.
but my whole life Ive tried for that common ground to talk to her and its not there. I love her a lot ofcourse, but we don't see eye to eye on anything. Me: glass half full Her: glass empty -
my mom was so glad when i got married young and moved out. she had a life outside our family and she could get into it more fully. Funny thing is, my brother NEVER moved out. But he was busy w/ the truth so it was like he was not there.
there's an older awake article that talks about this. like parents dealing with the empty nest syndrome and what you can do to release the emptiness they feel.it's older and i completely forget which issue it is but i'm sure you could find it.
yeas.... i gave it to my mom when i left the house... it didnt help.
Awake! Jan. 22, 1998
hmmm perhaps I will inadvertantly leave it around the house this weekend when i visit...
My sister and I are like this. When she lived at home it was horrible, we fought all the time. Now that she's not here anymore we really get along. For a while she wanted me to move in with her so I could go to school in Philly too but I knew that would never work out because we'd kill each other.
Also, my mother and my sister are like this. THey still fight a lot but she really can never move back home because there would never be a moment of peace again.
why are women and their daughters always at each others throats? my mom and sis were like this til she got married and moved out..
I think mine has a lot to do with the fact that my mom and I have many similar "discussing" styles...meaning, we argue the same way, and no one is ever wrong. I don't have that problem with anyone else, only my mom. Power struggle, I guess.
that is it exactly-a power struggle. my mom wanted her way and i didn't like it so i did it my way.
I'm so glad this isn't the case with me and my mom. We get along great, i'm not going to say that we never have fought, but we get over it, say wat we have to say and it's over and done with. I think being the youngest has something to do with it too....
i think the fact that i'm just not the oldest that we get along really well. i love both my mom and dad very dearly and do not understand when other people don't get along with their parents cuz i do so absolutely well.
i agree i think its being the youngest....they're probably more mellow
this kind of fits in: "Youngest children, because they are small, usually learn to be someone who stays out of family conflicts, because they are too little to be powerful players in the family."
So, growing up knowing this, younger children probably take it with them all their lives, and feel that their arguements in the family are as significant, so they tend not to argue as much.
I love birth order studies...i'm gonna make a journal about it.
I love birth order studies too. That is totally my little sister. She never gets involved.
that's totally me too. Everybody tries to drag me into things...but as the youngest...i'm totally content to fly under the radar
As the middle child and a more toned-down reproduction of my older sister, I do not know when to keep my big mouth shut.
What's your plan? If you're plan involves the need to move home do it, if not don't. My plan involves me moving to Hawaii, but in order to do that I need to have some money saved up as I don't plan on going out there with a job lines up and it's going to cost me a few G's to move my car, bike, and other nessecities out there. So due to that I'm going to suck it up and move back home with my parents. I know it's not going to be easy, especially since they only have one bathroom, and now it's not like all my friends can come over my place like they do now.
But the good side is I'll be saving more money living with them then on my own, and I'll be able to help them with some of the debt their in.
But if you don't need to move back home, don't. You'll probably end up with the same mother daughter issues you had before. Maybe not initially but eventually. But it will be different, it would probably be a better experiance now that you two have had your time apart.