Equal Rights for Women?
by I've been having an ongoing issue with one of the guys at work. I refuse to respond to his advances. He always wants to fight with me about being a Witness. He tells me that I'm only a virgin because I've never been in a situation where I can't control myself. "When you want to be with a real man and stop holding onto your precious virginity..." This makes me sick.
I guess he finally realized that I am not going to give it up to him. The problem now is that he's trying to threaten my job. I know that I have nothing to worry about. I have been here longer than he has. My bosses tell me all the time the place would fall apart without me. I don't want to get chased out of my job because someone is too hot in the pants to be a professional. He stopped working with me on projects. You might think that is a blessing. Instead of developing processes with me, he's been communicating with the girl that I've trained to replace me (in preparation for when I move into my new position). The end result? He's making me look like I have no participation in anything.
The girl told me she is very threatened by him since she has only been here since the end of the Summer. She isn't standing up to him. She cried to me before about how he treats her. Yet, she continues to work very close with him because he promised to take her far. He only comes to me now when he needs something done that's over her head.
I despise sleazy people.
AI Summary
99 Comments
oh yikes, that guy should be slapped with a lawsuit, STAT!
guys get away with this crap all the time. i told a girl at work and she said, "well maybe if you weren't so nice he would leave you alone." (i've actually had people say this to me before.)
yeah girls are made to believe that it's their fault. It's a great society we live in.
agreed! you should go to your bosses even if they won't do anything. get everything in writing. if they do nothing you have every right to go to the EOE Commission and slap their fat nasty butts w/ a lawsuit. or at least threaten it. don't take this w/o a fight.
for anyone that knows me, i bring something up whine about it for a minute and then just move on. this journal was like for me to vent. thanks for all the concerns, but i really don't wanna fight with the guy. i just keep to myself.
sorry-injustice and idiocy just frustrate me so. i would hate to feel like i didn't have any options. i'm a fighter, what can I say. but as long as you are ok by venting then i'm glad. but when & if you need me, i'm more than willing to go kick his butt for you!
These Italian women so very passionate...I LUV IT!
Come on bring me into the family, I'll be your very distant sicilian cousin.
haha! italian + puerto rican = sangre caliente
i love it!
che passione!
wow... seriously... i get the SAME rap from a woman over here... shes telling me that witnesses are odd cause of the virgin thing and shes ALWAYS all over me and stuff. (REGARDLESS THAT IM MARRIED) i dont have to worry about my job tho, she just makes me feel REALLY uncomfortable.
seriously, i know how you feel, my boss is always saying things like "Come over here and program MYYYYYYY computer" and other lewd/suggestive phrases
for the last time, women aren't people. They are devices built by the lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment.
WHOA!! JK JK!! seriously though, u should go to HR. Get this guy canned. Don't be scared to do it either, they can't touch you.
ha ha ha ha ha ha
i dont think this will help. the owners of the company are just as bad: married with wife and kids at home and office chicks on the side.
yea they support this behavior
yeah welcome to the corporate world, right? it's terrible.
YIKES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then here's the only thing u can do... complain till ur blue in the face. no seriously, do what socalgal said, make him screw up in an email, then u have written proof. Meanwhile look for another job, and then when you have one, send the emails to his wife, HR, cops, etc.... there u go
are emails proof??
DEFINITELY! People have gotten fired/arrested over emails .. i know this because i watch Law&Order haha
hmmm interesting
LOL you're totally like my sister! she'll say the same thing.
Also, keep a tape recorder hidden under your desk and if he ever comes and talks to you turn it on!!!
so lois lane!
hahah they need him unless he steals from them he stays
frame him for stealing. then youll win.
ha so i have to steal something first and plant it in his desk. why would he steal something when he has our top of the line device??
im not a logistics person. im an idea person. ask someone else.
Oh MAN, that made me mad! That guy needs a good slap from me. or atleast a dirty look.
slap him all you want. and wear big rings.
thats so bogus, frest! quit that job and move down here. you know they are all misogynistic losers. youve known that since jump. now youve got experience and an excuse. drop them.
I agree 150% with summer.. that job just uses you... dump em, you can get another job in a second WAY better than that.
try not. i'm not leaving no other job wants me. i have no degree.
yeah, but you are getting to a point where the experience outweighs a degree... nobody cares if you have a degree when you have a few years experience... it used to be the other way around... but not anymore....
I can't really take this experience with me elsewhere bc my job doesn't exist outside of here.
yeah, but then they win. that stinks.
either way they win. im a loser baby.
MAN this is so PINCHED! I wouldn't know what to say to this scumbag but, I'd definately go over his head and let someone higher up know what the deal is...suggest to the other girl to do the same, or ask if she minds you speaking on her behalf.
I don't know, but it sounds like sexual harrassment.
have you spoken to your boss or anything about this? Because it's definitely sexual harrassment.
no i haven't bc they are all "into" this sort of thing
I don't think that should stop you. Maybe you should talk to your elders about it, or the police, or both. Oh, and your parents.
Thanks for the advice Toddy
seriously, I'm very concerned, you should take action!
supertodd: defender of females everywhere
that is so wrong!!! it makes me angry jsut reading this!! Unfortunately there really is nothing you can do. Change jobs is the only thing, but in a way you don't want to go without a fight.
I've been through the same thing. you feel so violated but no one else will listen and if you do try to do something you'll basically be black balled within whatever industry your in.
yep he's threatened me that i'll never work in my field again
what do you say back to him?
i said oh no boss please dont fire me oh wait you can't see you at the sales meeting
this is what i did:
I engaged the creep into conversation via email....he'll slipped about something LAME, but I still maintained my innocence...then he mentioned something naughty so i kept it, printed it out and walked over to him, when no one was around then told him wouldn't it be nice if a lawyer AND his wife saw it.
he stopped after. but you can't go to HR or something cause like i said you'll be black balled in whatever industry cause all those smarmy peeps know each other one way or another.
this guy is not intimidated by threats from anyone.
I hate stuff like this....and I totally understand your frustration, and I'm SO sorry you have to deal with this. What if you AND the girl complained about this guy? I know sometimes that hurts the situation more than it helps, but you never know.
I deal with stuff like this at my job too. It's a shame that people in the world have such messed up views on things we consider important. The most recent of my frustrations is a few guys at work saying that marriage is only some glass and metal (referring to my ring), and that never stops people from messing around, and I should feel free to do the same, blah, blah, blah. And it's one of my managers that is participating in this as well. THAT kind of stuff irritates the crap out of me.
I would certainly talk to someone if I were you. There's always the possibility of it making the situation worse, but you don't know unless you try.
Oh, and prayer.....always a good idea.
Here....I'm sending you a BIG HUG!!!! :)
I've been in a worse/similar situation before. The girl definitely won't have my back. She is like most people in this world...trying to promote herself at the expense of others.
reply to #30: ha maybe you can do it bc i just ignore him
um...did you mean #31?
don't think so?
ugh what a fag. sounds like he can't control himself
he can't, but i actually think he's gay.
Are you serious?!? That's even more ridiculous.
Unless he's also familiar with the bibles views on homosexuality and our stand as witnesses... just wanted to take the light of himself.
note to lil sis: this is why i no longer let non-witness guys figure out im a virgin. i stop the convo before it gets anywhere near there. i dont care if i miss a witnessing op bc of it. its not a safe topic.
i never even said it actually. he knows and hates Jehovah's Witnesses. he always says in front of groups of people. yea she's in that weird cult where they save themselves for marriage.
what?! well he's obviously a jerk. Next time tell him that you feel sorry for him since he apparently does not have any self respect. Either that, or he's not getting any himself and he wants to make you feel like the weirdo.
hahah yes i love you!
When you want to be with a real man and stop holding onto your precious virginity...oh wait! Did he already try that one? jk
I'd definitely do SOMETHING to make him stop. Me and Summer have a lil wetwork business on the side. Let us know what you want to do. Disposal of said waste may be an avenue you'll wish consider.
ha summer knows i could just call my cousins if this were the case. (this humors me that they offer this bc they are two of the most docile men i've ever met.)
i love them! i would have loved to see mike being a bouncer. whyd he have to get a real job? being married is the pits.
i miss the hot dog shop!
Do you think that I would miss the hot dog shop too?
who wouldnt miss a hot dog shop?! businesses my cousin has been affliated with: a hot dog shop, a cigar bar, a dance club. for a long time, if you asked his mom what he did for work, shed describe it as hustling. hes amazingly sweet, though we still cant figure out what paid for his caddy. now hes married to a teacher and coaches at a high school - boring, but legal.
theres a hot dog place by me, on the boardwalk, called Diggler's. A very suggestive and smarmy establishment [the tag like is "size matters"]. Huge, delicious hot dogs though. Whew!
i love hot dogs. we used to go to target out for our service lunch breaks and get a hot dog, chips and a soda for $2.59. twas good eatin.
hot dogs are baaaaaaaaaaad for you... taco bell... very healthy.
and almost as cheap! actually, taco bell is mad expensive these days. i always order the same thing a bean burrito and a soft taco supreme and thats almost $3 without a drink or anything.
fo sheez
will do
sexual harrassment. file a complaint with your superiors. if that doesn't help, or if you get fired for doing so, sue him and the company for sexual harrassment, wrongful termination and hostile workplace.
this should NOT be happening at a place of business.
2nd'd, he won't know what him him as he is walking to the unemployment office. Companys don't like the idea of law suits and will can him very fast.
hacelo, hacelo chica
i know that but if I get fired i have absolutely nothing to fall back on.
The bunk bed in my room is calling your name!
haha and the dent in the ceiling from my head?
it has my head print too!!!!
if it gets to the point where you get fired or are made to quit Jehovah will help you find something else, without a doubt.
I'm sorry Forreste...I definitely think you should say something to a manager. I went to my boss a few months ago about one of the guys here, although the situation was a little different. He actually backed me up against a wall and tried to kiss me and then blocked the door of the room so I couldn't leave. I spoke to my boss but I didn't give her the name of who it was because I wanted to take a little time to decide what to do, and I gave him a verbal warning that if he came near me again, we would have a problem. But the one thing my boss did tell me is that "nobody's livelihood is more important than your own" and no one should get away with acting inappropriately and that anyone who does act like that, doesn't deserve a job.
You told me about this. This was at your old job right?
No, its the one I'm still at
oh man is he still there? is there still a problem?
he's still here...I just don't even take him seriously anymore...I stay away from him, and only talk to him when I have to. He makes me ill.
Was this perpetrator given a thorough psychological work-up? If it should come to trial he'd get away with pleading insanity.
WOW so this OTHER girl told them give me one month's pay and I'll go quietly or else I'm reporting you. AND this was totally unbiased. She said this about one of the best managers we have here who is totally PC. She also said he made passes at my trainee and this other girl who used to work here. My bosses just asked me if I'd give a statement.
that girl quit and they are firing the other one.
Crrraaazzzy stuff Frest. Are you gonna come out on top?
i guess so. this will give me an edge to talk about the whole raise business bc i am so darn loyal!
Big up Forrest.
how hard is it to remember the "e" on the end of my name dude?
Mehehehe, pretty hard it seems. I'll do what I can.
just say frest... or maybe italian-food-cooking-girl-that-feeds-us-wherever-she-goes-and-makes-REALLY-good-food-that-I-could-eat-until-i-bust-an-intestine-and-then-I-wouldnt-be-able-to-eat-anymore-cause-my-intestine-would-be-popped.
it probably ends up being the same amount of typing...