Origins of the Species
by Seriously, if you have no sense of humor or are offended by what I say, please don't read this. I can't stress enough how this is sarcasm...
Can we just have a moment here to talk about how girls got some smarts we didn’t? I am speaking of smarts that we as men have to develop thru studious study or painful experience. Did you notice how women just have inborn senses of reading men? Were you ladies really born with this or is it something your mothers trained you with?
A woman can sense when she has a power over a guy. She can sense when she lost it. She can sense it between other women and a guy. She can exploit it as well. I wasn’t blessed with the sense that my day old undershirt needs to be changed until the scent is so bad it reaches my nose. Sometimes I bend my head and reach the smell myself. WHOOO! Man I need a deodorant that allows me not to bathe for a couple days. That would be a commercial right there. Hobo Guard, we’ll keep you smelling fresh thru days of sports and sitting around in the summer.
And while we are on the subject of women, is anyone sickened by the recent super love displays between them all? Have times changed that much since I was in High school? Girls would be nice to each others faces but I’d hear the truth the second they split up. One girl would walk away and the one next to me would mutter something the second the first was out of earshot along the lines of wishing a painful death having to do with a blow dryer accident. Those were the days.
Now we have all this BFF junk. Erroneous. Can we have a moment of clarity here? Ask any woman about her friend Tammy or Monica and she’ll roll her eyes and say how she better not steal her man. And how Betty really is after Jill’s ex. If women really loved each other, why are girl’s night outs so infrequent and only when it is clear that one girl has completely broken up with her man? And those are tough to organize because if just one girl doesn’t show up the main girl is suspicious that whoever is not there is after her former beau. I think most bonds between women are forged AFTER they get married.
It is because guys are more fun. Why have girls’ nights out with the girl who called you fat behind your back, one who fills our her halter better and one who looks better in a cami than you, when you can just tease some men and have them amuse you? We have guys’ night out and have a great time. We could do it every night of the week. We don’t but that’s because you girls get bored with each other and won’t let us. The funniest girl I ever met was in HS and she tried to kill herself. It was probably because the other girls were jealous.
Are they really your best friend forever? Let’s examine that. I’m from the BX and I had friends who had friends take knives for them. I’d say that’s a pretty deep friendship. I have an uncle who is in jail because he killed someone for my other uncle. That’s a strong bond there. There are people who give cars as presents and I’d say they rank as top 100 on the list of best friends. So let’s not rate someone as great because they bought the same Seventh Heaven DVD’s as you. Or because they don’t look as great as you in pink. I mean I love my friends, but I’d give up most of them if Bill Gates, Derek Jeter and Neve Campbell showed up at my door. Don’t judge, so would you.
Second, I’m 27. Really old. Its ok, I’ll admit it. I have thought it was an old age since I was four. I still do. Do you know how many giggling girls from 17 that are still speaking I am aware of? I can count them using all the eyes I have. I think being in a different state helps. Its an epidemic really.
I really spun off on a tangent there. I really don’t know how I started this, but I covered enough subjects for now. Oh and I’m no knife-taker, but I got a place you can stay at if you like….
AI Summary
64 Comments
hahaha this is rad and on point for most. girls are a totally different species. not all are lame but some are.....and i have experienced the "OH you're my bestfriend forever" then when i walk away they're like "oh my gosh i cant believe she.....blah blah blah" my remedy....stay away from insecure girls (peeps in general) and surround myself with some really cool guys who become my bro's....and get female friends that're like me....and all is coolio.
I think the insecurity thing is the real key. People who are secure with themselves are much more willing to be themselves in front of other people since they're not afraid of being rejected. They're not always trying to please everyone by pretending to be their friends. For some reason girls seem more prone to insecurity than guys. And even when they are relatively secure, you still need to be more careful around them than around guy friends.
oh my gosh who told you i said that i'm going to kill her! jk jk :P
you are correct
Boys are better than girls... true story.
so says the ghey boy
aside from a handful of exceptions, i'm closer with my boys because we can speak honestly with each other. i don't worry about saying something to a bro and being judged. these dudes don't sugarcoat, but they aren't vicious. and the thing i appreciate most is that guys can get past things (i have GOOD friendships with 2 ex boyfriends).
tl;dr but you might be right
i love firefox.
That was random.
You're pretty much right. Nice chunk of text.
whats a cami?
google: camisole
and your only 27, i thought u were 30 by now. Heck im only 25 and not even near being old, unless you count everyone i know is now married and on the way to having kids but besides that im not old at all.
Oh man some of this is sooo true! .
Why have girls’ nights out with the girl who called you fat behind your back I really do luv my girls. For me, it's more so the girls that I've tried to be nice to and treated me like dirt on a shoe that I have problems w/
This is a totally interesting read I really like your writing style.
hmm, i duno why girls night outs are so infrequent. When your married you get busy I guess. Most of my girl friends i go out with are married, one with a kid. It's just hard to get us all together when we can have a good time and not stress about what else we should be doing. Not only that all my girlfriends are atleast an hour away with the exception of one who is close to me but is disfelloshiped at the moment.....so .....& then Mandie is not even in the same state as me.
but i find this journal interesting,, just how you wrote it is like you were talking. haha i totally dig your writing style.
sometimes it's rare for a girl to find another girl who can really understand her and be normal and not talk behind her back and just be chill
i have a handful of those in my life and i love them
and it's great when you find that other girl and you can laugh and say "i like you, you're normal" and you know neither will turn around and roll her eyes at another person
I think girl friendships can be really great but it's hard because most girls are just sooooooo stinkin unique or something, I don't know too many girls that really really get along with too many other girls. It just doesn't happen. Girls are crazy, I admit it.
And the girls that "get along with a lot of other girls" - fake
My best friend is Chris, and he's a boy, and it's been a very very very very long time since a girl was my best friend. The whole BFF thing is ghey.
girls nights out are only infrequent when you get married i think, because life is hectic and stuff is always happening
and 27 is not old, i turn 27 tomorrow, and i must say it is going to be a glorious day haha
ha exactly-- it IS awesome when you can find a girl and say "I like you your normal" especially when you can be weird and silly together and its still normal and not all that weird.
I never understood those girls that talked about each other, don't they realize people KNOW this, and the person you are talking about always finds out. It makes you look bad and completly un-trustable. WHY,, start reading books or get a hobby so you can have somehting else to talk about. ha.
It's sad cause this situation with woman made me not enjoy service & pioneering because all they did was chit chat about other people and try to get information out of me on other people,, & as usual i dont know anything. ,, it was annoying. I never knew anything and i never cared to know anything. Some girls live on this. Not me.
BUTTT THANK GOODNESS the congregation I am in is NOT at all in anyway like that. I LOVE IT.. Service is enjoyable again.
i have a friend turning 29 tomorrow
you guys are all kids....compared to me :( lol
when i was like 6 or 7 i was best friends with a boy but then i became best friends with his sister, and one time he made fun of his sister and i beat him up, and then the boy and i were no longer friends
to this day i kinda feel bad about that
especially when i saw him like 10 years later and he was HOT
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ooooh the irony. haha
Why are you so concerned with girls and their friendships? You should value the chicks with the close girl friends who DON"T talk bad about them when they walk away.
THESE are the girls that will learn you how to change your tee-shirt before it taps you on the shoulder and asks for you to please, please take me off and wash me.
THESE are the girls that are going to set you up with the shower and the Right Guard.
The afore mentioned chicks who trash there "friends" as soon as they walk away look up one day and there they are all alone in the mental hallways of high school - which is where they can never get out of.
Patrick - I luv yah (and I say that in the most friend way ever because I adore Dan) but seriously you and Josh make me crazy.
I wasn't bashing women for a change. haha. And you may not have to worry about the big guy soon......
why pre-tell?
It kinda s**ks that those girls always seem to be married off or happy to remain single by the time they reach our age, though.
27 is old?? I'll smack you.
hey, now a days 21 is freakin' old. Sure it sounds crazy but, after ya hear it a few more times reality hits LOL!
21 is old for what though? old is like 79. as well as anything in the 30's but once your past the 30's your in the 40's and there is something cool about being 40 something to me.. not that i want to rush it, I love my 20's.
yo i love pat but not as much as i love a good taquito
bro have you seen the new pepperoni things they have?
i do not think this is funny at all. it's a sad situation and the fact that you mock it, is something i do not understand. but it is true.
"I can't stress enough how this is sarcasm..."
no. no. ian . no. no. lies. lies. all lies.
half and half
i prefer straight milk in my coffee
yup. whole milk. all the way.
I prefer my coffee black with Splenda for sweetening
i use non-dairy creamer, for obvious reasons.
Don't like your intestines exploding, huh?
no. i think it's because sometimes he gets a bit nasaly
Sooo beat me to it, Julie!
actually its because he gets cranky
i heard you get very cranky too. must run in the family. same with those foofy names.
okay, well i do admit, a lot of girls are caddy, and i think that guys have less problems with their friends than girls...but overall, i dont think your journal is accurate...i have had the same 3 close friends since the age of 8...you do drift apart sometimes because of being too busy with boyfriends, or life...but those are still my 3 closest friends. and as far as girls nights and guys nights out..we're having a girls WEEKEND in two weeks in baltimore, and we're gonna have a FABULOUS time! :-)
jahanna, are you having a girls weekend THIS coming weekend in baltimore?! that'd be soooo ironic, because WE'RE having a girls weekend in baltimore this coming weekend. Haha, that'd be SO weird!
hey, no, we're rescheduling. but that is so weird. who is all giong with you? you know i live like 30 mins from baltimore??
no way! i didn't realize you were so close! do you go there all the time then? we have 11 girls going, from LI and Brooklyn...i think the only ones you know though are sarah and abi. and maybe you know candace?
wow. 11 Long Island girls off the island. I'm scared for the entire population of Maryland - they have no idea what they're getting themselves into.
well, we have some girls coming from brooklyn...so maybe that'll balance it out. Anyway, this is our fourth "semi-annual road trip", and boston, philly, and DC have all lived to tell the tale...so i think the citizens of MD will be fine
oh, so cool! no, not all the time, the best shopping is right around there...so i go there a lot for that, but i've only been to baltimore, at night, like 3 times. the inner harbor is the main place to be..it's the heart of the city. the baltimore aquariam is cool, (not as cool as the boston aquarium) and they have a Little Italy there, that's super cute.
well sir, it happens to be a A generally spherical mass of ground meat and other ingredients, such as bread or breadcrumbs, minced onion, various spices, and possibly eggs, usually fried in a pan or baked in an oven. Except for shape and size (there's usually more than one meatball per serving), meatballs are very similar to meatloaf