Scuicide

Ok, so yesterday i'm on the train and this cute chick is sitting across from me. She is skinny and exotic looking. And she is reading a book and she starts smiling and looks up at me and is smiling. So i'm smiling back at her but her eyes are croooooked. One is looking at my left eye and the other is looking at the floor to the right of my feet. Her eyes were doing that travolta move from saturday night fever. And it freaks me out so i stop looking at her even though she continues to stare and smile at me. What really was she going to do, give me her number?

So i get out of the train station and get a 50c soda (24 oz., I love the Bx) and as i'm standing outside the store a girl i used to work with gets off the train and since she is walking in my direction i'm obligated to talk to her. I don't want to make real small talk so I tell her about my ordeal with the Steve Nash/Tracy McGrady look-a-like. And she is laughing. But she is a loud person herself and starts saying about how she knows this one guy who has a lazy eye at the exact moment we walk right past the woman with the crazy eyes at a bus stop which was at least two blocks away. The woman was STILL staring at me and then turned away.

I WAS HORRIFIED. I could not believe that it happened. I still can't...I thought about committing suicide but the problem is that I'm afraid of writing the note. What if I spell it wrong and one of my friends discovers it?

"HEY LOOK EVERYBODY, PATRICK COMMITTED SCUICIDE!"