what the heck is wrong with me?
i feel like such a dork for writing this journal, but here goes...
i thought at this point in my life i would be past all this, but apparently i'm just as unprepared now as ever. I'm writing this journal partly because i need advice, and partly because i need to write this all down and maybe i'll be able to get a better grip on what's going on inside my head.
anyway, i'll cut to the chase. there's this girl that i've been interested in for a while. "interested" is the only way i can think to put it in a single word, but what i really mean is that i've had a crush on her for a while now. that crush turned into more when i got to know her better. she's such a spiritual person, has so many good qualities, and to top it off is gorgeous. sometimes i get the feeling that she likes me back, but other times i really can't tell. i've known her for just a few years but within the last year or so we've become pretty good friends. i think one thing that is holding us back from becoming even better friends is the fact that i'm so scared of drawing close to her because i'm afraid i will just start liking her more and more. i'm afraid to just tell her how i feel, because i don't want things to get weird between us. even if she told me that she would never be interested in a relationship with me, i would be cool with that, but even then, i think things would get awkward.
i'm also afraid of what would happen if i told her i liked her and she said she liked me back. the biggest problem with that is that right now i don't feel like i'm ready for a girlfriend. emotionally i'm a little immature and i feel i have some things i need to work on before i take that step. at the same time, i don't want to miss out on something that could be really amazing.
I wish i could just KNOW what she was thinking. like i said, even if she could never forsee a possibility of her and i going anywhere, i would at least be able to move on. as it is now, i feel tortured every day, i think about her every day. if i knew she really didn't like me, i would be able to get on with my life. anyway (if you've made it this far reading), i'm having trouble explaining this to you the way i want it to be said, but i think most of you know this tired old scenario. my question to you is, what should i do? should i tell her how i feel? you girls out there, are you weirded out when a guy tells you he likes you? what would be the best way for a guy to tell you he likes you without coming on too strong and without making you feel like you're going to hurt him by saying no? what should I do????
any detailed suggestions would be appreciated... thanks
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49 Comments
humm that is a tough one
i would like it if you stopped referring to me as a "her"
.....HAHAHA.....
Thats a pretty hard decision to make. Also... dependent on your age, i would tell ya differnt things, if you are like 14...i would say give it a few years... but there is no age that ANYONE just is automaticly ready to get married or start to date atleast, its all up to you and how mature you are. There is NO easy way to tell a girl you like her... hmm.. yea.. none at all. I was in the worst situation too cause i had this INCREDIBLE girl, and i was friends with her, and i didnt wanna ruin it.. and i DIDNT wanna like anyone at that time, cause i had things i wanted to do. But I didnt wanna ruin what COULD happen, so we talked, and well.. there ya go. And that was just BECAUSE it started to get wierd. I got outta of it easy, but.. it may be different for you. I dont think they have any Awake articles on "How to Pick a Girl", but it wouldnt hurt to do some research on it... it might help you out some more. i dunno if all that made sense, hopefully youll know what to do.
yep as rock said it aint easy tellin someone you like them, however you got 2 choices here.
1. you dont say anything and just stay friends and it tears u up inside (depending how much you really like the person), or she eventually meets someone else (which will happen) and your friendship will eventually grow more distant and go away.
2. you go for it you pansy, and either it works out and you invite me to your weddin a few years from now or she says she doesnt want a relationship. Which then she is either mature and you can still be friends (it is possible folks i have done it) or she is a immature and she acts all weird or starts talkin stuff about you.
I did the short and easy versions here cause who knows if you gonna bother to heed my advice, but ive been there done that so i know what its about. I say go for it, what you got to lose?
Mag, for ONCE I actually AGREE with you... I couldn't have said it any better myself (well, I would have left out the "pansy" part..)
it was used for enticement for him to go for it
i'm gonna comment on this, but i have to leave for work. i'll update this comment later on.
ok, leave us all in suspense. anyway, everybody thanks for your input. some of you said go for it, some said wait. at this point i think i'm gonna wait a little longer and figure out how i'm gonna break the ice. btw, no girls answered my last 2 questions at the end of the journal
I don't remember ever being weird out the very few times a guy has told me he has liked me. If I haven't returned the feelings I've always felt bad because I don't like hurting people even if I have no control. However, it does leave you with that special feeling..where you feel pretty and good about yourself because someone else thinks your special.
i am the LAST person you want to ask advice about women from buddy, haha.
I say go for it. Keeping your feelings bottled up is going to destroy you and if she went with someone else, it'll devastate you. If she likes you too, that doesn't mean you have to rush into anything. If you truly love and respect each other, you will help each other to grow... read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a and you will understand. BTW, nothing wrong with you... we have all experienced it.
Oh, also, my fear is twofold.... I doubt any sister would actually admit to liking me, and if I admitted feelings to someone I liked I think she would be to busy rolling around in laughter to notice me slinking away... but you go for it, lad!
How about ya just chill and let things develop instead of tryna figure it out!!.. Just be Chill..and it will fall into place,and put your mind on other stuff...As i always say,, just be CHILL...it'll figure itself out, it ALWAYS DOES! for me anyways!
It's getting a bit chilly in here...
......ha........
ha
"I wish i could just KNOW what she was thinking." Yeah, that's never gonna happen. No one has yet been able to figure out or understand what the female race is ever thinking. Besides, you're supposed to just know, duh. But actually, I think "just chill" may work. Wait awhile, see if anything more happens...and if it doesn't decide on a course of action.
the female race doesnt even know what its thinking, so its pointless for us to bother to even attempt to figure it out!
Exactly. And in reference to the title, nothing is probably wrong with you though I cannot be completly sure at the time.
Dude like soo go for it.. if you dont you will have that what if over your head..
ok i re-read your thing. i;m changing this comment ~ I think if you feel like your not ready, don't get involved in something. If your not ready most likely it won't work out great. But then again, i'm no expert....
GO BIG OR GO HOME...that's what I have to say. And if you're not going to tell this gorgeous, spiritual woman how you feel, give me her number, cause trust me, there are a total of TWO gorgeous spiritual women in the world and you've found one of them. (Hint: The other is already married.)
There's a lot more than two out there, but either they're too young, too old, or too unavailable!
yeah!!!! rock on.... take the leap man!!!! hahaha..
that's pretty rotten. you're saying every good wittness girl is ugly
no he is saying that it is hard to find a hot spiritual girl... which.. it is... you have to sift through alot of dirt to find a diamond.
ahhahaha! that's so messed up!
preach on brother!
Some time you brothers sift for real gold (good sisters) and end up with FOOLS gold. I AM PURE GOLD
OH yeah .. well I'm PLATNIUM laced with diamonds. take that !
BLING BLING SON!
hahahaahahah maybe you brothers should stop lookin at there looks, cause there personlaity always makes em Hott
amen to that... i think its a sign of immaturity.. i used to have a different idea of what hot is... just their body... but now.. if you look at a pretty girl and she is a REAL jerk, slut... ect ect... it really just kills it.. i have a hard time drooling over britney after her "Slave for You" video... i mean.. i still drool, just not as much..
I was kind of thinking that on the way home from work this morning. I kid around about finding a pioneer sister that looks like Salma Hayek, but really, any sister who is beautiful in Jehovah's eyes is beautiful in mine too... (before anyone says it... that is NOT a line... okay? It's the truth!)
He obviously hasn't met you or most of the sisters from the Hackettstown/Stanhope combine... we have some real gold in dem dar hills!
Yeah, but 16 year old gold is not fully MATURE....we need more like, 22 or 23 year old gold. ahem. yes.
True, true... just pointing out that there are sisters who are golden. What I was actually getting at was that in our Hall (both congs) we have sisters that are even younger than Rachel that have great theocratic goals and outlooks. I've been in quite a few congregations and honestly haven't found so many younger brothers and sisters who have it so together spiritually. Like I pointed out in response to another post in this journal "Either too young, too old or too unavailable." Not that I'm looking, but it's an observation... I think I'm going to write a new journal...
thats very true, ill admit.. our halls are chock full of girls who have a good head on their shoulders and are trying to do whats right. Thats a rare thing to find.
Well thats all good for yall brothers who have halls and halls filled with nice beautiful spiritual sisters. but what about us west coast sisters who find themselves staring at a bunch of Kobe Bryant Wanna Be's?
We have those too... usually, though, you only see them at assemblies and conventions looking for single members of the opposite gender
My mom calls them Corridor Cruisers, HAHA sooo funny
Well point me in the right direction.. cuz i dont see them i see wall holder uppers i see seat hoppers i see girl watchers but i dont see spiritual brothers..
That's what I was getting at when I said you ONLY see them at assemblies... or actually the very occasional meeting. It's funny and sad at the same time, really dressed to the nines, but with a goatee and/or worldly hairstyle. I especially feel bad for those raised in the truth who know what they should be doing and don't do it, but it's their decision, of course.
you know whats wrong with you ... ? Your name is crab cakes.. it's just not appealing. change your name.. then you'll be ok.
Yeah, maybe you can use something lame like "i like crabs"
no thats not a good idea " crabs" spoken like the way you "SPOKE IT" has a connotation as if you're speaking of the VD... and well who wants that...
Yeah, I thought of that but didn't know if anyone would catch it... wait, no... that didn't come out right... I mean... nevermind
thats funny elliott........not superficial?