not cool
by It really isn't cool when you have a relationship with someone, and you consider it very special and you treasure it over all other relationships almost (cept for your relationship with Jehovah) and people tear it apart with their words. It's hard to be confident and trusting as it is in this world, and people just add to it by voicing their own doubts about your relationship. Why not say the good things, the positive things? I don't know..maybe I'm wrong. But saying stuff like, "well..you don't seem like you really have anything in common" or "you don't seem really close at all" isn't very upbuilding. I think I have gray hairs. Not from this though.
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yea, ive noticed that... like... even when you think you are doing good in a relationship, they STILL feel the need to voice their doubts about it... just be happy!!! sheesh
bah ignore them, everyones gonna speak something, some good some bad. Take the good ignore the bad and go on with your life!
It happens... BUT it is good to get outside opinions and input when warranted... sometimes people can see things objectively that you can't see. Oh, and don't get me wrong... this isn't personally just directed to you... Ben's a really cool young man... I've known him and his family for over 10 years now... it's just that if I put more stock in what others had told me about my ex when we were dating things would have been a lot different for me.
The following was originally comment 5:
Oh, by the way.. there IS a difference between objective/constructive criticism and tearing down. If people are really trying to tear you down, that's bad... if people see something that you don't see and are trying to save you from heartache in the future, then they are showing love for you and want what's best... take each thing as it comes. If you two have true love for each other, then that will prove all your critics wrong. If the two of you are happy and can see eventually marrying and spending forever with each other, then you are on the right track...
This is being added at 10:40 am...
"You don't seem to be" is based on other people's perceptions... opposites attract and if you enjoy each other and tolerate each other's interests, or better yet see them as ways to enhance each other's lives, then that's cool... I'll tell you, though, Ben was first up in front to see Lindsay get baptized... I was standing next to him and he was beaming. Man, everything was Lindsay this and Lindsay that... Lindsay Lindsay Lindsay!
Also, I wasn't getting at anything other than handling my marriage a lot different if I put more stock in other people's input when dating... not that I wouldn't have married her, but dealt with things before marriage a lot differently...
hmm.. i don't know if this comment was totally appropriate...
Sorry, but I'm speaking from age and personal experience and it's nothing personal as I mentioned. I love Ben and Lindsay both... I'm being objective and feel that friendship means being balanced with my input... Also, comment 5 was written while Matt was posting comment 4... I never saw it til I was done...
i dunt understand why it would be deemed inappropriate....
My original comment was everything up to "The following was originally comment 5:" which was then a seperate comment... Matt based his entry on what I wrote up to that point...
i just didn't know if thatdarngirl wanted such details explained, as long as she doesn't care, it's fine
Well..I would have rather them not be discussed because well..just because. Though, it is fairly common knowledge anyways, and I don't especially mind them being discussed. No need to get upset over stupid things that don't matter. It's fine but I think Matt's comment was very valid.
This has been incorporated into comment 3
You know what i say.. I say forget about what anyone says negatively. Have your own good time. Learn from your own dumb mistakes. Learn from others mistakes too. but whatever. Just run around in circles yelling " Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" and then stop and yell out " BBOOO YAA ! BOO YA " or put some vanilla ice cream all over your arms and lick it off. because after the ice cream is gone, you'll be so happy that cold this was off your arms... you'll love life.
wooo hooo
That's actually a really good idea and can totally see me doing that!
yeah...LIKE IT OFF! Good one Thai!
yes, I think everyone needs to learn from there own mistakes to a certain extent, its important that people do i think!
Yeah, it's important to make your own mistakes and learn from them but as a witness, we have to be extra careful. we can't just ignore eveyone and go about things the way we want to and then regret it a couple of years ago. (ie. divorce someone for the heck of it) I was in a relationship where i got really upset at people voicing their opinions and started to ignore them and almost made a huge mistake. if i hadn't taken a moment and realized that maybe they see something i don't, and hadn't stopped taking it personally, i'd be extremely miserable right now. instead...i'm very happy. i still take people's opinions into consideration, but in the end it's my decision.
EXCELLANT comment! you're right. it IS your decision. with everyone trying to give you good advice, it's hard not to start filtering people out because you just get worn out! one brother told me: you don't know what you're getting yourself into. well, i thought, who ever does? had he been more specific, it would have been better advice.
Exactly! I wouldn't mind advice. But just being vague and pointing out stuff, how does that help me? Confuse me perhaps and make me think so hard that my brain hurts.
you know we should all go ice fishing dressed as polar bears... i wonder if 2 people will ice skate across and one would be like " whoa whoa.. look at how those polar bear evolved.. they learned to fish rather than bluntly strike the fish with their large paws" and the other guy would say " look at how their mouths seem to have eyes in them.. and when they communicate the lips do not move. this is amazing lets go pee "
your a weeird little man!!