You Just Might Be Italian If...
by My wife got me into Jeff Foxworthy's "Redneck" routine some time ago. Since then, I've been coming up with comparable Italian-isms. Here in my part of Northern California, Guineas are very rare, so the few that are here love to be connected with the heritage! Here's what I have so far and if you can add any, please feel free to add to the list!
- If you feel the Olive Garden is fast food, you just might be Italian
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If your grandfather, uncle and sister are all named "Frankie", you just might be Italian
- If you know that your local pizza parlor has better food than the Macaroni Grill, you just might be Italian
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If your favorite uncle is called "Louie the Barber" for more than one reason, you just might be Italian
- If you can't talk with both hands tied behind your back, you just might be Italian
- If you get tipsy with one glass of wine, you just might be Italian
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If your nose is considered nothing more than a hood ornament, you just might be Italian
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If Sunday dinner consists of more than five courses, you just might be Italian
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If you use an old Mateus rose bottle as a candle holder, you just might be Italian
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If garlic, oregano, basil and olive oil are it's own food group, you just might be Italian
- If a salad isn't a real salad without salami, provalone, ham, oregano and oil & wine vinegar, you just might be Italian
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If you have a garden of tomatoes, garlic and basil because what you can buy in the store isn't fresh enough for sauce, you just might be Italian
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If you call sauce "gravy", you just might be Italian
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AND...
- If you watch movies that involve the Mafia and think the characters are based on your family members... well then, you just might be Italian
AI Summary
66 Comments
If you wear a neck chain so you know where to stop shaving, you might be Italian
- If you grow a mustache because you want to look like your mom, you just might be Italian.
- If you dad wears dress shoes, dress socks with shorts and a white Guineas tee, then you just might be Italian.
- If you wear WHITE socks with your suit to the meetings, you might be italian.
or Michael Jackson
hmm good point... all i know is that when i tried to sneak and wear white socks with my suit my dad would yell at me and say " GO CHANGE! we arent THAT italian.... " so i dunno.
if you speak like you're the authority ON EVERYTHING, you just might be EYEtalian.
I mod this stupid...
clearly, you mod NOTHING.
i mod it in spirit!
i would mod it stupid too because its lame
the difference is, rednecks don't think they're rednecks, but italians... don't most people kinda know what their nationality is?
haha i duno i'm tired
-If you're obsessed with your nationality you must be Italian.
Where are all the non-Italians? Courtney? Where did you go?
I'll agree with this one. Italians love bein' Italian. I'm non-Italian. Irish and Puerto Rican. Didn't know it was possible, eh?
I'm half Italian but I really could care less, though I know a few who are all hardcore about being italian.
haha Danny Ligotino!!!
oh man i know! Everyone is like why aren't you proud to be italian? I'm like cuz i'm not...
I seriously think proud of your nationality is dumb. Thats like saying "Hey I'm proud to be right handed"
Well I can understand someone in the world being like that but when a witness is like that I really can't figure out why.
Really don't think it's about being a biggot or anything (in many cases)
Some people simply just appreciate the different offerings of whatever heritage they share (the food, the kind of charateristics, the language). Becuase we're all different... each one brings something different to the table (who we are is made up by many different facets including heritage).
Example: A lot of comedians use heritage. Jerry Seinfeild used it a lot in Seinfeild he decided to portray the "tyipical jewish family" as he understood it to be. This was funny because other veiwers that shared that heritage or a similar one could look at it , laugh and say "IT'S TRUE WE ARE LIKE THAT!" in any case "whatever floats your boat" be proud don't be WHATEVER ;-)
yeah i agree with this... i love being italian! I love when people try to pronounce my last name, and fail utterly. I love my grandma making enough food to feed an entire country when we come over for dinner. There are so many things that make you appriciate your heritage... and i dont see any problem with someone feeling that way... but yeah, like ya said snobby, to each his own.
I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being proud of your heritage I'm talking about those people that are overly proud of their heritage and are always bragging about it and feel the need to constantly mention it and bring it up.
Don't feel like you have to explain. mike has an Italian flag CD hanging from his rear view mirror in his car.
no, i take offense to both of you... i say we fight to the death!!!
HELLO! My name is Mike Schiano!!! You have insulted my heritage!! Prepare to DIE!!!
Anybody wanna peanut?
HAHA, diffused!
I say we fight until someone...gives up and doesn't want to fight anymore. Or before our significant others find out and make us stop.
I won't have that problem so I say we go with the fight to the death option. lol
I'll be the ref.
"I want a good, clean fight. No nut checkers. No head butts. Let's get it on!"
ok works for me. I'm just going to pretend Mike is the boards at the hockey rink one good hit and he should be down for the count.
ooorrr i could just outskate you like i always do...
HAHAHAHAHA. That's a good one mike. Maybe you could if you didn't fall every 2 feet. :-P
And we shall see since hockey season is almost upon us. I can't wait to start playing all the time again.
haha, dont hurry it, you need some time to get ready im sure... im in peak physical shape as it is... i can only get better
Yeah you can only get better because you can't get any worse than you are right now. lol
I'm just having some fun... I am half Italian (which overruns the other stuff in my blood)... these are observations that strike a humorous, if not true, chord with me!
OMG!!! Dave you're alive, it's like you posted and then fell off the face of the planet (chaos thus ensuing) :-D
i meant that i wasn't italian, i didn't mean anything against being italian...
i never identified with my italianicity until i went to italy. its so amazing to see the power of genetics. everyone from rome north basically looked like they could be my cousin. that to me was cool. that and the museums and good eating.
there was a question in this questionaire i had to fill out at school one time for a scholarship and the question started where in italy did you ancestors come from? that's when i realized that i am not really italian b/c i have no idea. maybe i should just walk around italy until i find people that look like me and then i'll know.
there should be some record of where your grandparents came from when they immigrated. or you can look up your surname and see what region it is from. we still have family over there we are in touch with, so its not much of a mystery.
haha, i was scared to enter an italian forum....but now that i'm here, i find this comment...and i disagree!
i'm irish and obsessed with being irish! I've got the irish shirts, pins, etc.
i've said it once, and i'll say it again:
KISS ME I'M IRISH!
mmm, green killians
i love green bagels on St patties day..
i wore my "everybody loves an irish girl" shirt today
see, the shirt used to be much more unique, before urban outfitters started making one of just about every nationality...i mean, once i saw the "everybody loves a latvian girl" shirt, i almost tossed mine
nah, cause nobody LIKES irish girls... NOBODY... NOOOOOOOOOOBODY
Y'know. As much as it is an unfortunate thing--I think that's true, but don't crush her dreams...
oh, you guys are just haters
So you would say a guy who marries one is....what exactly?
haha, im one of those guys... i was just trying to start a controversy...
If you threaten to gut a limo driver, and ask him if he knows who he is dealing with, because he is late picking you up for your wedding, you just might be Italian.
Hahahah...I love MTV.
You might be itallian If you think that anything less than 100% italian isn't really an Italian.
you might be Italian if you barbecue seafood and still put home made tomato sauce on it.
ha i love the italian cliches which are true 95 % of the time
you might be Italian if your 25 and got a tattoo but are afraid your mom will punish you if she finds out.
if your house is louder than in the middle of the city you just might be italian
not only loud, but if it's hotter in your house at a family gathering than the sahara desert, you are definetely italian.
if your name is "Big Gay Tony" you're probably italian. and gay