kabulkabulkabulOG 2003

Arriving in September 2003 with the confidence of a self-proclaimed expert, John Preston burst onto eZabel like a senior-year victory lap. His very first comment was a deadpan fake-historical takedown of skaorsk8's joke word "antiochidents," complete with a fictional Geoffrey Dentist who supposedly invented dentistry in the 14th century. That bone-dry wit set the tone for a guy who could swing from absurdist humor to genuinely passionate music takes without missing a beat. He championed Midtown over Sugarcult with the fervor of a true early-adopter, saw Bob Dylan at MSG and declared Hurricane superior to anything Britney and Justin could produce, and organized concert events for Saves the Day and MxPx like a one-man booking agency. When he was not debating pop-punk hierarchies with tesoro or defending the iPod's storage superiority, he was dropping detailed NFL predictions that read like a scouting report — Giants as NFC champs, naturally — and declaring Madden the greatest sports game ever made with zero room for debate.

Beyond the sports and music, John was a surfer who spent summers chasing swells in the Outer Banks and Hawaii, a night owl who posted more than half his comments after midnight, and the kind of kid who bragged about leaving school early thanks to senior study hall. His September 11 journal entry revealed a more reflective side — a sophomore watching Driver's Ed classmates get called to the office, hearing rumors spread through the hallways, and eventually visiting Ground Zero nearly two years later. He ran hot with skaorsk8, tinser, thatdarngirl, and ophelia, bouncing between Sports, General Chat, and Music Talk threads at a pace that racked up 42 comments in a single month before vanishing almost entirely. A brief 2006 comeback produced a trollish poll and a handful of one-liners, the literary equivalent of poking his head back through the door to shout something funny before disappearing for good.

eZabel Personality Type: ESTP — "The Sports Page Savant." John showed up loud, laid down opinions like gospel, and left before anyone could prove his Giants prediction wrong. Equal parts class clown and genuine enthusiast, he packed more personality into two months of posting than most managed in years — a fast-burning comet who lit up the forums with surfing stories, concert flyers, and the unshakeable belief that he was always right about football.