OK..here goes...There have been many cases, especially in copurtship, wherein I may talk to one elder and he may say I should see my girlfriend a specific number of times in one week, and limit the amount of times we update each other on the phone about our days activities; while another elder will say that when courting, conversation is the single best way to get to know one another, and as long as the conversation is appropriate and the time spent chaperoned, EXTRA time should be taken to get to know that person. And when i spent some time looking both situations, i realized that because this was not a specific biblical point that we could turn to and find a set answer to, it is often left up to a combination of circumstance and (yes boys and girls) personal choice. I find that often, many elders, having the best of intentions, do occaionally add their own personal preferences into advice...and occasionally we servants, pioneers, and publishers can not easily seperate the advice from the counsel. Often an elder will tell you what worked best for THEM while courting, which is very nice, but situations can differ in cases of long-distance relationships and age. Basically, all the advice comes down to: dont put yourself in a position where something bad COULD happen because it probably will. Besides that, we have been given the gift of discernment. whew.