i did the same thing everynight, for 4 years straight. i know how ya', feel, but of course i don't cause i'm not you. but if you have jehovah, you're not alone. i feel lonely a lot too. i often feel abandoned (spelling?) but that's when i realize i have to be friends with myself, i know it sounds dumb, and NO i'm not skitzofrantic (spelling, again?). exercise works great, because it releases endolphins (did that one on porpus (ha! get it , dolphins, porpuses, ok)). and too, as the circuit overseer says! read, read, read!! when i feel horrible, i go up to my cave and my heated blanket and read a watchtower or awake magazine, cause it's easier reading, so i can get into it in my weekend state. it'll get better, it'll still be hard, plenty hard, but there's a hope for a great future with jehovah.