definitely if he wants her to know he's interested he should ask her himself. having her friends have her come is tantamount to "my friend over there likes you. Do you like him?" kind of stuff. keep the friends out of it
I second that notion... friends should mind their own business when it comes to setting people up... they should give their advice about what they think about the other person and you should take what they say into account, but when it comes to asking someone out, or planning something, its better to keep the friends out of it...
This is actually the thing I really don't understand about what my friend said. She said that if the guy is casually asking a girl to do different things, then she might get the impression that he's _not_ interested. Then, when he does bring up the issue of dating she will get really embarassed that she had misinterpreted his intentions, and possibly not even want to speak to him anymore.
I can sort of see what she means, but it still seems better to risk that, than to come off as unconfident.
well like was said casually doing things is a great way to get to know each other-same goes for her getting to know him. i mean after a while it may be possible to tell how she feels before the issue of dating is brought up. how does she act towards him? (in this case, it would be ok to get an outside perspective). Start inviting her to smaller events (movies with a few friends, dinner at your house with a couple of peole)-how does she react to that? There is no harm in prolonging the getting to know/friendship stage.
Yeah and plus if you reach a point where you feel your friends but don't want to go any further there's not gonna be as big an issue if your not involving other people. The more people involced the more complicated it is and more potential for trouble. Believe me I know that for a fact. OY!
I dont know maybe im wrong, but if a guy is casually inviting a girl to certain things, i think she would think that he enjoys her company at the very least. Also, I think that the longer the getting to know one another stage is the better because there is no pressure if one of the parties is no longer interested.
i pretty much agree with the Muff. get casual. no reason not to. there are little things a casual person can do to feel out a relationship than someone who's NOT casual and who's actions are being more closely scrutinized. if you're at ease with a person and the feeling is right, all the messages will come across and it'll go on. if not, the person can back up and enjoy a swell friendship, if he/she so desires. Dan, it sounds like your friend is a unique case. don't let 'er mess up your head.
What could also happen is that you become really good friends and there is no pressure to make it more than a friendship, but than when one of them starts getting involved with someone else, you feel the pressure that you have to say something, because you realize you could be loosing this awesome friend... what do you do than?
give him up. Its hard (i know ive been there) but you dont want to ruin anything for them. If they are really a good friend you will want them to be happy and maybe one day you can be friends again (im still waiting for this to happen)
I don't understand-if you don't want more than friendship, why would you say anything? how would you lose them as a friend?
I agree you should not say anything, it would prevent any weirdness that could be there... By just keeping quiet, as long as the person they are with or pursuing is a good person for them and makes them happy, you will continue to have a form of the friendship you worked so hard to develop...
Yeah totally with you on this one Janine, much less complicated this way for one thing and just seems like it's just a better overall idea.