see this is what i was thinking. except for a few select pimps, since dating is such a serious thing its like people date and then they just get married. so girls just get super competitive and jealous when the one guy that they really like and already see a future with doesn't pay attention to them. especially with all the aforementioned pressure to get married or be dating. which happens A LOT.
Exactly... I appreciated your statement "so girls just get super competitive and jealous when the one guy that they really like and already see a future with doesn't pay attention to them." As a guy, he can sense that, so if he isnt really into them as much, he tries to ease them into a friendship (that is if he thinks they are friend worthy), but usually they dont want that, all they want is to be married (and it seems it doesnt really matter who it is as long as he gives her a ring). Its kind of annoying, kind of makes you want to go back to arranged marriages...
You know, the divorce rate for arranged marriages is like less than half of that for traditional marriages. Food for thought.
the just want to be married part is so true. like some of my friends that had been datinf for only like two month already starting to plan weddings. ridiculous i think. but again it's that pressure that your guy is just always the perfect one that you gotta marry. and then if/when they ever do brake up...they are just super jealous and upset about it. and will just slah their name so nobody else would date em.
WOW... If I had the moderating privelages to put this as "Informative" I would (even though I am a moderator, I dont yet have those powers)...
Your so right about how some couples after two months plan weddings... that once happend to me, which I thought she was joking, so I went along with it, but the jokes ended when I got an e-mail from some reception hall returning a "request for information e-mail"... I realize than that there are some girls out there that just want to get married, doesnt matter to who, they just want and are obsessed about being married. Really though, how can any guy feel special, I mean, you would like the girl to pick you out of all the other choices, not because you are willing to marry her, but because you are actually really special in their eyes...
Also your part at the end makes total sense... they would defile and slander your name so that you look unworthy of any one elses attention... (of course this would only work if you dont come over as a bitter, jealous freak...)
okay, if you are LITERALLY starting to plan a wedding after two months, that is pretty crazy, but I don't think talking about marriage at that point is. I really knew that I wanted to marry Austin within 3 months of dating. (I think we said "I love you" within 1 month) when you know...you know.
Although, we waited a year and 3 months before we actually GOT married. But still....you KNOW!
And, ::side point::...we were friends for a year before we started dating...all of which i'm sure were factors in the "sure-ness" factor.
Lauren and I talk about this all the time. In the truth, dating is SUCH a serious thing that our minds automatically calculate "dating + time = marriage", and we create built in clocks - "oh, they've been dating 4 months? are they engaged? When are they getting engaged?"
We have to stop and realize that serious dating is OK - and talking about marriage is OK without planning anything at all, especially in the beginning. As soon as Lauren and I started dating, I was asking her questions starting with the words "if we were married ... ?"
For instance ..."if we were married and I was a servant or an elder and I spent a significant amount of time with congregation responsibilities, how would you feel?"
or
"if we were married would you be ok with cooking dinner every night if I did the dishes afterward?"
or
"how would you rather be in the congregation - a quiet, reliable person who's always at the meetings, or a pillar who does their best to be a strong supportive member of the congregation?"
Because all these things matter to me a huge amount, it would make or break if I wanted to marry her. A lot of people asked me during that time "are you talking about marriage?" my answer would be "of course - if you're dating, you gotta be talking about marriage", and they'd get really upset that I'd been dating 2 weeks and was "talking marriage", but NOT "oh i'm buying a ring soon and we're talking about a wedding in the fall", but more in-depth, because i was focusing on getting to know my Lauren and make sure she was the kind of person i COULD be married to.
I DISPISE when anyone asks me when any of my friends are getting married. The answer I always give is "when they're ready". Because it's their lives, not yours, you pathetic loser.
if possible, you should mark yourself informative on this comment.
i can. consider it done.
very, very well said. thanks for that, bro.
wise words
I despise that too
That happened to me a couple of times when I was home visiting my old circuit. I was approached so many times by sisters asking if I was getting married. I wanted to shove my left hand in their face and asked if they saw an engagement ring. I have a diamond ring, I am gonna start wearing it from now on when I go back so they all leave me alone.