Jealousy is sooooooo unattractive... LOCKED
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Why is it when you tell someone that this cant progress past a friendship because you cant really see them more than a friend they become an emotional mess? Why does it have to be either marriage or nothing?
AND why is it that they proceed to be jealous of any other girl you become friends with? OH and dont let me get started on the bitter jealousy that occurs where they try to defile your name...
I mean, shouldnt they be thankful that they can find someone who will really loves them?!?!
(This forum statment can include men also, for you ladies out there who understand where Im coming from)
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Ironically enough, that was a response to one of my previous forum comments...
<4 jealous people
Ok...Anyone who puts pressure on a young girl to marry should be flogged. Haha... I mean seriously...Why do that to someone who still has development emotionally and spiritually to undertake? People amaze me. My kids will know as they grow, not to worry about marriage until the right time when all the proper pieces are in place in their lives. That's something I never had instilled in me.
perfect pouncing time.
Now that she's an emotional mess.. have the side talk with her..
"So I really do looove you... it's just I dont want to go public with it.. because it might put pressure on us and cause all other sorts of trouble... Can we go out and just keep it quiet... You're amazing and everything.. I just don't want that pressure...And I might even date other girls to throw everyone off.. but trust me it's all a show"
works awesome if she's young and dumb too.
sorry babe i kid i kid
most girls are drama...and as juicy said, most girls are SO pressured to get married...so they latch on to whatever guy is paying attention to them. it really sad.
See the statement that "most" girls/guys do anything worries me. Because it could potentially vilify the general male/female population. So anyone that pays another attention is automatically after the other or desperate to get married. It seems much more likely that a large majority or a lot of x do y & z, no?
you def. lost me.
im with todd, completely lost. most doest mean all. we all fit into one category one way or another. if you're not in the "most" category then dont worry about it. LOL
Alright you two.
My curiosity is more in the direction of where is the line drawn to decipher which people (of either gender) are doing this (pursuing someone desperately in contrast to simply being friendly)and which ones are not. Are there special glasses you can put on to tell, honest to goodness just wondering.
From what I've seen, you can usually tell by observing the difference between how they treat that person with how they treat everyone else. Someone who is just friendly is usually friendly with everyone, whereas someone who is pursuing someone desperately quickly latches on to that one person.
This makes sense.
just keep her on the side.
keep 'em all on the side
yeah everyone, keep everyone on the side
nice
dozens
Look see.. you're way ahead of me
I hear ya brotha
jealousy is a waste of time and slander is an even bigger waste of time
however i can understand how girls can get crazy because of the tremendous pressure that is put on girls to get married
once you hit 20 and you have no "prospects" for marriage, the pressure in the congregation is unreal
and this is ridiculous of course but what can you do
I don't get that impression in my Hall. In fact it seems the opposite. Why would any sane adult pressure 20 year old kids to get married?
are you a girl, around 20? if not, then you don't know this pressure hehe
and if so are you single and attractive? We need measurements
hahahahahaha
I am a sexy piece of meat buddy! HAha
please no pix + divx, thanks
oh and also this pressure of course is not from elders and other mature and wise people but like, other sisters... other young sisters who are getting married.. older sisters that are nosy and like to meddle... basically sisters that have not much to do but to talk to young girls and make them crazy
annnnnnnd of course once you reach a certain age you realize they are just bored meddlers, or crazy moms.. moms can be tough..
but when you're 18, 19, 20.... it can make you crazy haha
crazy moms ... or HOT moms? i like me some of the latter.
hahah so true.
I think something should be done about this... I like how the talks about not making a single sister feel pressured to get married are directed to everyone it seems except the mothers... when really they are the first ones that put the pressure on the girl. The pressure cant really be healthy for the girl, it's going to force her to make a bad decision that she most likely will regret for the rest of her life...
I think that's exactly what Sunday's watchtower article focused on...
Well now you know I havent studied it yet haha
No, last Sunday, buddy. The article about wives.
Oh yeah, I ignore those articles... I figured, Im not married, not planning on getting married anytime soon, so I just file away all the "How to be a Christian Husband", "How to find a Capabale Wife" and "How children can respect their parents" or really anything that pertains to marraige in a box under my bed until I feel that its needed to be REALLY studied...
except for paragraph 2 which said that women's lib apparently happened so that women can curse and sleep around
::grumbles::
the rest of the study was good though
paragraph 2 killed me
I actually commented on that. I said that the main focus of women's suffrage, which was in the 1920's, was equal rights for women. As far as history is concerned, women's lib was about women having equal roles as men, and I think that's to what the WT paragraph was referring. Are women happier on an even heading with men? No. But do they need to be married to be happy? No, Jesus recommended singleness for those who could make room for it. But the paragraph was worded in a strange way, I'll admit, but I think that was the meaning in connection with the rest of the study.
yeah i sighed heavily during that paragraph.. and the comments made by some ignorant people after the paragraph
the rest of the study was good though
I think all Husbands should wear a crown when they are around the house.
Better yet.. if the wife were to greet him at the door with said crown..
and place it as I... i mean.. HE.. walked in...
she should clap too.
That's a good idea! Haha
When I saw this paragraph in the article I burst out laughing because the society also mentioned women's lib in the Revelation book too! I totally understand the point but it just really amused me for some reason.
it was a good article for those still single because it reinforced the fact that the decision to marry someone is forever. i appreciated that my congregation answered very cautiously because it is a matter of opinion. i also liked how the spiritually mature sisters gently brought in additional Scriptures to show the benefits of being single.
where are you!? the twilight zone? i wanna visit!
dude, if you want to know why i said that, you can just PM me. there's a lot more i could've said. i edited myself BIG TIME.
yeah, too bad about that pressure, too. It leaves no one for me :)
That definitely seems like the issue in the truth when it comes to marriage. And thats why sisters tend to make themselves believe that this is the guy for them, regardless of how many red flags come up.
see this is what i was thinking. except for a few select pimps, since dating is such a serious thing its like people date and then they just get married. so girls just get super competitive and jealous when the one guy that they really like and already see a future with doesn't pay attention to them. especially with all the aforementioned pressure to get married or be dating. which happens A LOT.
Exactly... I appreciated your statement "so girls just get super competitive and jealous when the one guy that they really like and already see a future with doesn't pay attention to them." As a guy, he can sense that, so if he isnt really into them as much, he tries to ease them into a friendship (that is if he thinks they are friend worthy), but usually they dont want that, all they want is to be married (and it seems it doesnt really matter who it is as long as he gives her a ring). Its kind of annoying, kind of makes you want to go back to arranged marriages...
You know, the divorce rate for arranged marriages is like less than half of that for traditional marriages. Food for thought.
the just want to be married part is so true. like some of my friends that had been datinf for only like two month already starting to plan weddings. ridiculous i think. but again it's that pressure that your guy is just always the perfect one that you gotta marry. and then if/when they ever do brake up...they are just super jealous and upset about it. and will just slah their name so nobody else would date em.
WOW... If I had the moderating privelages to put this as "Informative" I would (even though I am a moderator, I dont yet have those powers)...
Your so right about how some couples after two months plan weddings... that once happend to me, which I thought she was joking, so I went along with it, but the jokes ended when I got an e-mail from some reception hall returning a "request for information e-mail"... I realize than that there are some girls out there that just want to get married, doesnt matter to who, they just want and are obsessed about being married. Really though, how can any guy feel special, I mean, you would like the girl to pick you out of all the other choices, not because you are willing to marry her, but because you are actually really special in their eyes...
Also your part at the end makes total sense... they would defile and slander your name so that you look unworthy of any one elses attention... (of course this would only work if you dont come over as a bitter, jealous freak...)
okay, if you are LITERALLY starting to plan a wedding after two months, that is pretty crazy, but I don't think talking about marriage at that point is. I really knew that I wanted to marry Austin within 3 months of dating. (I think we said "I love you" within 1 month) when you know...you know.
Although, we waited a year and 3 months before we actually GOT married. But still....you KNOW!
And, ::side point::...we were friends for a year before we started dating...all of which i'm sure were factors in the "sure-ness" factor.
Lauren and I talk about this all the time. In the truth, dating is SUCH a serious thing that our minds automatically calculate "dating + time = marriage", and we create built in clocks - "oh, they've been dating 4 months? are they engaged? When are they getting engaged?"
We have to stop and realize that serious dating is OK - and talking about marriage is OK without planning anything at all, especially in the beginning. As soon as Lauren and I started dating, I was asking her questions starting with the words "if we were married ... ?"
For instance ..."if we were married and I was a servant or an elder and I spent a significant amount of time with congregation responsibilities, how would you feel?"
or
"if we were married would you be ok with cooking dinner every night if I did the dishes afterward?"
or
"how would you rather be in the congregation - a quiet, reliable person who's always at the meetings, or a pillar who does their best to be a strong supportive member of the congregation?"
Because all these things matter to me a huge amount, it would make or break if I wanted to marry her. A lot of people asked me during that time "are you talking about marriage?" my answer would be "of course - if you're dating, you gotta be talking about marriage", and they'd get really upset that I'd been dating 2 weeks and was "talking marriage", but NOT "oh i'm buying a ring soon and we're talking about a wedding in the fall", but more in-depth, because i was focusing on getting to know my Lauren and make sure she was the kind of person i COULD be married to.
I DISPISE when anyone asks me when any of my friends are getting married. The answer I always give is "when they're ready". Because it's their lives, not yours, you pathetic loser.
if possible, you should mark yourself informative on this comment.
i can. consider it done.
very, very well said. thanks for that, bro.
wise words
I despise that too
That happened to me a couple of times when I was home visiting my old circuit. I was approached so many times by sisters asking if I was getting married. I wanted to shove my left hand in their face and asked if they saw an engagement ring. I have a diamond ring, I am gonna start wearing it from now on when I go back so they all leave me alone.
OOooo this is stalker-ish and I really don't get it either.
I'd rather be happy alone than miserable thinking I fell in love with a person that will never appreciate me the way I appreciate them. As for defiling someone's name that's an issue they need to realize could jeopardize their relationship w/ Jehovah NOT COOL. People are so dramatic.
some girls are funny that way. it usually means they have an issue with rejection orrr they've never been rejected and they don't know how to act. and this is true of many witness girls-- they put all their eggs in one basket and they get really burned when something doesn't work out.
WHY GIAC? WHY? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?