Which would you rather? Be doomed to speak in iambic pentameter for the rest of your life, or wear underwear with elastic sandpaper waist bands?

will i always be forced to wear underwear? or when i wear kilts can i go commando ? ... and will my iambi pentameter be monotonic ?

if you aren't wearing the underwear, you must wear an all steel wool jock strap (I'd go with the underwear)