Questions
by Okay, we have a questions thread in the general chat forum, so why not have one specifically devoted to macking questions?
I'll start...
Why do guys get so freaked out when girls cry?
AI Summary
201 Comments
why do women freak out when a guy cries?
they do?
Seeing as the macking forum needs to be revived, I have a question. (Well, two questions.)
Suppose someone has a reputation among members of the opposite sex that they are trying to change. What is the best way to go about doing that? And how much does your reputation affect you when you meet new people?
The best way is to just do it and not let them know that you are doing it. Of course dont expect your reputation to change in a week a month or even a year. It has to be an honest change and it has to endure a significant amount of time. When that occurs people will eventually look passed what you were and realize that you have decided to make a change for the better. Hopefully if those people are mature enough they will not continue to view you by what you were...
Your reputation can affect you if you meet new people that is if those people choose not to make their own decisions about you. Really, why would you want to associate with people who aren't mature enough to find out who you really are and are willing to see that your not what you used to be?
In time everyone grows up and matures.... well mostly everyone
When people set dumb standards*, standards that if they hadn't set (being very closed minded) they could've already been settled... Does this mean subconciously they don't want to settle down???
If one sets their mind on one person in particular and begins compairing everyone else to the idea of what they think that person represents no one is ever going to be good enough. And then suppose they get close to their "dream somebody" and they're not at all what was imagined... It was then all a waste of time and now one has to start from scratch
sucks 2 b them. On the other hand HA! u whipped starstruck fool thought you were smarter than this
*petty superficial things... placing all their eggs in one basket w/ regards to one person they know nothing about like, what they know is "a duh, der sure purdy "
i think it just means they are young and inexperienced...
This is why I always wanted Jesse Hughes to fall in love with some girl that was very out-of-shape and not really pretty at all (because his standard was Jessica Alba for a while). Unfortunately, that didn't work out cause Sarah is awesome and pretty. Oh well.
Hahaha! it's not that we don't all have a right to our personal preference, it's to what degree it goes...will one pass up a perfectly amazing person because they don' perfectly fit some puffed up ideal.
then again, what could be perfect to you may not be to that person.
It's one of those things where it becomes a game... they see person X, person X is obviously attractive to anyone general. Maybe they would've thought they were attractive on their own, even looked that way once or twice. Only now every tom, dick, and sally start flappin' about how person X is such a catch...There in lies the hook! NOW ,there's a target they MUST land them. Maybe it wasn't what or who they were looking for but, since everyone will think they did so great for themselves, why not go for it? Yes it's very suspect reasoning but, as you can tell I'm a firsthand witness to it.
***BOTTOM LINE***
People are imperfect, do really dumb things, and have extremely impaired reasoning skills. What can you do but, hope they don't end up hurt and disappointed? =/
Jesse Hughes?! that's the name of the lead singer from the Eagles of Death Metal! Jesse 'the devil' Hughes!
http://www.eaglesofdeathmetal.digitalsol.com/Gallery/Jesse01.jpg
Hmm..that perhaps is our Jesse is disguise as a 30-something year old very white male with tattoos..and also a magic device that makes him lose 100 pounds.
Is it really such a great accomplishment for one to brag that they can have ANYONE they want?
My take:
If we really pay attention to the implications, this statement or the ability to make such a claim really is NOT such a great feat at all. It really depends on each person. Depending on the parameters an individual has set up; these are the point from which they'll decipher desirable traits they see in another person. So WHAT! They can get anyone they want, maybe who they want nobody else would want LOL... but seriously.
I too, hate when people say this. I don't get it. I could be attracted to someone and maaaaybe I could try to attract them to me but then what do you do? If he's a good brother with goals and my goals are completely different, I couldn't snag him nor should I try.
i'm obviously not saying this from experience, but it is definitely NOT a good thing to have a bunch of people after you. The less the better...
I nominate Cerrato!
hahah dude you're not online enough, sorry killer
Who secretly wishes to find "the one" on eZabel?
DUDE how crazy would that be to have an eZabel hook up, and then an eZabel engagement and then the ultimate eZabel wedding?? haha We could make a reality show outta this!
not i. but that would be cool and we can all watch it unfold! we need some test subjects!
i volunteer magnum!
Alright! any takers??
isnt he like married already?
not quite. but he's a good choice for this
we all volunteer you!!!
we had three already! iwz/idme21, rocksupastar/katiedid, left of center/special k (not SpecialK)
but.. neither me or mike found our woman on here..
but, i still make a VERY good point
nor was it an ezabel wedding or engagement party
i hate all of you!
go wreck another thread man...j/k! ;) Yeah, they'd have to actually MEET on here...
well in that case, from what i've seen we may be on our way to that, hehe
what do you meeeeeeeeaaaaan?
i'll support you on this one...
we really need to start writing these ideas down..
Cause i think it breaks the image that they have of the girl in there head. The image that doesn't lend itself for such a vulnerable stature or side of their persona.
For me to cry, it is because I seriously can't take whatever the situation is anymore. Ie. how I am being treated - how stressed I am feeling... things like that. It's not to freak the guy out, but sometimes that is the only way for me to express my frustration and upsetness (is that a word?).
how long does it take for a guy to get over a girl who played him? Sheesh.
Depends. If the chick has issues (self esteem/other) that would motivate her to PLAY someone in the first place these should be worked out cause it's NOT cool. On the other hand if feelings were just confused or something like that and the chick backed out at the last minuet, the guy should be able to get over this with much more ease.
Whoa, you hit the nail on the head Livvy! The chick's got issues...
The question...
Why does open communication fly out the window so easily in so many relationships? platonic/other
Here's the scenario
There are two single friends of the opposite gender in a TOTALLY platonic relationship.
Friend #1 has self esteem issues from mistreatment/failed relationships in the past.
Friend #2 easy-going, fun, sympathetic, nurturing, and self sufficient.
So friend number two tries to be a good friend to #1, concluding that #1 is such a great person and deserved so much more than the illtreatment experienced in the past.
Somewhere along the way Friend #1 gets a swelled head and thinks #2 has more interest than just friendship, and gets FUNKY & distant.
*wouldn't be suprised if NOBODY knows the answer to this.
the question is: is #2 really just looking for friendship in #1 or has #2 just not realized he/she likes the other more than just a friend and #1 is picking up on that?
Not at all, #2 is the kind of person that will cry for their friends happniess (any of the friends they have).
For #2 if their friends are miserable, #2 cannot be happy knowing they're miserable. Just the kind of person #2 is very lending, no alterior motive.
maybe friend #1 took your comfort the wrong way...
which way are you thinking?? My mind is going that way but I'm not coming up with anything.
ok number 2 stop asking questions
Not appreciated Thai...I frown in your general direction :(
aww why... lets hug and make up
Hugs are always welcome and today especially needed.
OKAY. i'm in.
To mack or not to mack?
What does it mean to mack responsibly?
i wouldnt know. hopefully someone does.
there are quite a few definitions that we use here.
bring it on! (we needed a thread revival baaad)
macking:
1. to meet numerous peeps of the opposite sex in the same night
ex: "can you beleive tom was macking around the whole night"
2. hardcore kissing someone
ex."dude they were totally macking and didn't care who saw them"
3. going further than kissing (used mostly by the world)
Mack with intent to wo?
and the lil sis..haha darn this replies to #89..I'm lame
considering bryans thread about dress and grooming being a waste of time...i was wondering: what do guys notice about a girls appearance thats a plus? also, whats a negative?
heres why im asking, i think there is a stigma with being fem as say, me. its feeling limiting. i mean i like sporting my brand of cute, and i like getting compliments for it, but that not all i want to be noticed for. i like being a doll for me, but not for others, and i cant figure out how to make that clear up front.
boobs = plus
no nose = negative
i shoulda just waited bc my question was answered at the assembly when the DO said dressing modestly means dressing in a way to avoid provoking impure thoughts. what a revelation!
this brother from my old hall just texted me "I had a dream u were at our theocratic ministry school meeting."
??????
oo was it anyone i know?
lets see, do you go to my old hall?? LOL It's this kid that used to like me...
oh i was thinking nutley. oh well.
ohh I'm sorry, you're right..crap! I wish it was Jeremy!
shh! names. we dont need anyone else vying for his attn.
YAY for nutley. that's my old hall and my grandma goes there.
he was serious..like a literal dream..haha
and then after we all went out after the meeting another text "What are your long term goals? When do you want to be married by?" haha
that was some dream he had...watch out!
no that actually happened..like in real life.
So I'm tellin Bri about this gathering I'm going to and he goes "Why are you going?" and I said "I wanna meet new people." and he says "What kinda people?"
"...uh, cool people?"
"Yesss what kinda cool people...?"
at this point I figure out where he goin' with this..
"Guys! I'm going to meet GUYS Brian!"
"That's right ::evil contented grin::"
So really my question is:
..and? what of it? haha
why you going out to meet guys when you got me!
I do? Since when?
always you just didn't choose to recognize it
I recall you stating you wanted to be left alone...
nothing wrong with that.
can i come with?
lol incidentally, i was talkin about the one you invited me to :)
oh, i guess there will be no one new to me then. someone else needs to have a party. hooray for new boyz! (that can be the party theme.)
dno't you hate that? there really is no one new. it's the same here, we know everyone.
can we get a big banner that says that...oh! and balloons too. We can tie them to the mailbox!
You may recognize this question from another thread, my bad two browsers open mayhem insued,lol.
The question on my end:
Some guys get so funky, if you get along with their mother.
From my stand point this doesn't necessarily mean you're trying to manipulate your way into the family. What's their deal?
I LOVE my friends parents...REALLY they're warm N squishy lots of fun!
heres my question/questions. How come when ur my age (17 and madly in love with SunShyne..cuz she can call me her baby boy, and i can call her my babygirl..so we can just spend some time, so she can be my sunshine), EVERYTIME u say hi to a girl thats 16 and under...she HAS to like you and fall in love, even if you barely talk to her. HOW COME?!?! How come then all u hear is..."you're leading them on..you're leading them on..." Well wait i know why..cuz shes 16 and under. But then how can i make her NOT like me without being toooo much of a jerk? Cuz for some reason, being a jerk seems to make them like ya more. whyyyyyyy. ladies...think back to ur younger days and figure this one out for me!
youre a mess! ok i think its wholly appropriate for a girl under 16 to be crushin on you. i would recommend it bc i dont think youre a heartbreaker. goodness knows these girls are going to be crushin on somebody. but are we talking that shes letting you know and wants something to be done about it? bc you can just let her know thats not going to happen bc youve got goals and a time line or whatever. i also dont think that if shes revealed her feelings its a good idea to go on with the level of friendship thats engendered said feelings. you dont want to torture her. or do you?
nah of course i dun wanna hurt her. but its not her..its THEM. like almost every other one. its crazy cuz even off the bat if im not super-friendly it still happens. i mean id rather not have to deal wit it to begin wit so that i dont have to worry bout hurting anyone, but it seems like they always make it go to that level and start liking me. then im stuck cuz i dun wanna hurt them, u kno wha i mean?
i get it frankies in high demand. and whats wrong with that?! just make your position clear. when i was your age i used to tell fellas that i wasnt interested in dating and if they wanted to stay in touch with me anyways, theyd have to get past my dad. that used to squash it. i guess its harder for guys.
haha true. that brings back memories. jewy mentioned ur dad when me and her first became good friends, and how he hates every guy ever. i used to be in fear of the guy BUT...i got his respect! thats right...cuz im good like that.
parental authority only works if you want to live in line with it. if i had said i hate that my dad is strict, it wouldnt have worked. i said i respect my dads views and i wont disobey him.
does that translate to anything that works for you?
lol yea it works...i get wha ur saying
stop being so sexy
they like my feet. thats what it is. they find them attractive
In a relationship, what are some things that have been done or said that ticked you off?
Do you sweat olive oil?
elaborate please!
go to your inbox...
"there are things i would like to do to you." why to me? why not with me? and if they are unspeakable, why are you mentioning it?
HAAA! that guy was having an extremely hormonal minute coupled with impure thoughts. run away!
im trying but i seem to be running in circles
ok, wellll don't let him disrespect you too much...
yea, tru, remember our convo the other night? How certain comments are said and at first they make you blush but then when you think about them..WAIT HOLD UP that was totally inappropriate and degrading!
FLEE! MEN ARE A SNARE AND A RACKET!
multiple suggestions on how i should do my hair or dress or whatever...take me or leave me, but don't try to change me
i mean, i'd change to a certain degree...but a line definitely needs to be drawn somewhere
cornrows...and gold teeth...woah, you'd be SOO much hotter
why do you attract so much attention??
why do you have to wear heels??
Why did that guy just check you out??
these are SOOO annoying
might it also depend on the kind of crying? for example:
sweetly tearing up over sentiment
slient frustration with tears streaming down your face
the screaming boo hoo with snot streaming down your face
very good points.
thanks. i was thinking i could see ugly cry scaring some guys off momentarily, just bc of pure gross factor. but there have been times ive seen that shining eyes tear up (like at a wedding) and thats beautiful.
Alright ENOUGH w/ the fancy artwork...what program are you using??? I WANT IT!
check out the musings from yesterday, miss overuse-of-italics
Okay Mr. Raspy N' Rude.
ooohhhh this would make a good tattoo
is that a daffodil? you got skills, man, mad skills!
it's suppose to be a cat
of course, daffodil is french for cat.
okay, here's a thought.
What if the girl cries early on in the relationship over something the guy deems as...not a big deal. (Does anyone recall that seinfeld with the girlfriend who cries over dropping an icecream cone and tons of other ridiculous things? But when her grandmother dies, she's as hard as a rock, like it's no big deal.) The guy might think that his girl is going to end up being extremely needy, always getting upset over what he deems as "little things". Also, then you need to watch your every word so as not to offend, and that could wear you down.
that was what i was trying to say in #5, but you elocuted it much better! go todd!
oh, thanks... I think my elecution needs work.
examples always help (or a graph). ;)
lol, i remember that. funny
what about the friends with the same idea?
pete the weeper?? "was it good for you-hooooo-hoooooo!?!"
if a girl cries over dropped ice cream... especially at our age..
you really need to give her something to cry about it.. like grab her cat and milk it.. then give the milk to homeless people..
then tell the homeless people to turn that milk into ice cream
and then give that ice cream in front of her to your other girlfriend
Might have to consider the emotional make-up of this individual as well as their background. They might cry not because they're needy but, because their just that way.
This person might just need to get it out of their system (once they do everythings fine). Life experience,memories anything could lend itself here...people don't always want to share because THAT make them feel needy, so they just let it out and move on.
okay... I think I understand that, and I definitely could see some of that.
I consider emotional make up and background (baggage?) as factors lead to the neediness. You said "They might cry not because they're needy but, because their just that way.". That is exactly what the guy might be afraid of.
Now it's different if this sort of thing happens once. Even once in a while--it's bound to happen at some point, right--after a fight or something? If I had a girlfriend right now, and she needed me, I'd be there in a heart beat. But if this was like...all the time, I would be out of there.
I guess the first time it happens, it might make a guy stop and think..."okay, is this going to happen all the time?" It would be scary.
It'd be a totally different situation if the girl is just a friend. I imagine that most guys can help a friend in need.
if the chick cries over ANYTHING, leave her, she's needy and a whiney baby and NOTHING is going to ever satisfy her.
wait, do you mean she cries at everything....or if she even cries once?
cause, i dont think there is anything wrong with crying over something huge...like a breakup or something like that
waiti why is this in the macking forum?
I think it's here 'cause, we're addressing (to the best of our ability) crying/emotional responses within a relationship.
Best thing to do: lots of hugs and back rubbing like a mommy would do! Chocolate is also appreciated.
no no.. best thing is to buy her some diamond earrings
you're a smart man, Tay Tay
and some flowers
followed by chocolates
then a sensual back massage... with candles lit
then let her nap.. while you prepare dinner
and this should get you off the hook for awhile... until of course when you accidently sleep with her sister.
replying to 15:
im not hatin, im just saying youve got a mom and a sis, id expect you not to get so freaked out since you obviously have experience. listening is the absolutely best thing you can do. hugs and tissue providing would prolly be a good addition.
"what should you do/say if a guy starts flipping out and yelling about how no one understands him?" hmm...i can identify with being misunderstood. i would quietly encourage him to talk and prolly work on his adrenal gland via massage until he calms a bit.
that sounds naughty haha
sorry...i should add that the adrenal gland can be accessed through reflexology of the hand.
something to do with kidneys? or am i off...i think i must be bc i dont understand what this would have to do with the problem
the adrenal glands are near the kidneys yes. they secrete steroidal hormones that are responsible for the fight or flight response. once someone gets all worked up, calming that system down would help them.
just to jog your memory...think back to your 6th grade class trip when they packed that poor boys ritalin under the bus.
yeah, but having a sister and a mom is different from having a friend. it's so much different. i don't think that comment was fair.
im sorry you feel picked on. you have a point about the relationship being different. i can see from your perspective its not cool for someone to open up to you in an overwhelming way. that explains why some guys get freaked out. i guess you are the only one who really answered tinsers question, since the other guys said, "i dont get freaked out..." kudos! thanks for being honest!
saying "i'm sorry you feel..." is not really an apology ... imagine if a girl was crying b/c of something i said, and i told her "i'm sorry you feel that way" ...you'd tell her to run ..... but since this is all the apology i am going to get, i'll take it.
it totally is an apology! i am sorry you feel picked on! it wasnt my intention. i wouldnt advise a girl to run from you if you were giving her an affirmation when she was upset. i would say, did you expect him to apologize for your perception? plus i gave you props for answering the question and being honest.
Speaking of crying...
Tears are salty.
It's really just like sweat if you think about it
EYE SWEAT
man, I came up with that like a month ago, jeeez.
sorrryy i love you
awww. To quote a friend,
"sorry, my poopies."-i like birds
sweat is hott...and yummy.
Additionally: most guys DON'T get freaked out. gals just need to stay away from the immature guys that can't handle it.
i get freaked out. because crying is like "this is the best way to express my emotion right now". and guys don't cry in front of other people (at least, i don't), so if she's crying, it's for one of two reasons
1. she trusts you THAT much
2. you pissed her off hardcore, you jackass.
TWO POINT COMMENT: Yeah, true AAANNNDDDD you're a wuss.
Those two reasons you mentioned are why I liked it when gals cried. it made me feel kinda priveleged that a girl comfortable enough with me to cry AND it made me feel like i was enough of an impressing force that I could make someone cry. quite immature and mean.
so i'm a wuss and you're mean? what's wrong with this?
i think being trusted enough for a girl to cry is almost like being a psychatrist with no degree and no experience. i could probably do SOMETHING, but whatever it was, it would be wrong.
with that attitude, it would be wrong. back away slowly and head for the door. whoever she is shell be better off.
why am i getting hated on here. this is not right.
what am i supposed to do, miss knowledgable? from my understanding, the best thing to do is listen. doing SOMETHING, ANYTHING else, would be wrong, unless i've been educated otherwise.
you think you know everything, summer - how about "what should you do/say if a guy starts flipping out and yelling about how no one understands him?"
dude just use your muscles and CRUSH her
or you can try my technique... if she starts crying taking your pants off and run around
are you prepared for mad laughter followed by a game of tag?
what do u do when your MOM starts flipping out and throwing tables and chairs in the bar
you are totally right dear. if she cries in front of you then she's very trusting with you.
in a situation like this, just hug her and let her vent, cry etc while cuddling her. this is the BEST medicine.
I might be evil--but I used to like it when girls cried. I loved it. The emotional expression, the red cheeks, the scrunched face, the tears a'pouring. I used to like it. Now, it's not so fun.
NOW, I usually know why the gal cries and I've found that 8 times out of 10 you shouldn't try to "correct" it or stop it. Just hold on, ride it out, let 'em talk it out.
"Why do guys get so freaked out when girls cry?" in my experience, they only get freaked out if they cant figure out why youre crying.
or if they can't figure out how to fix it
dad is the best when im crying! course, my experience crying in front of other males is limited. in fact, i cant really think of any male that has seen me full-on cry up close.
What guy gets freaked out ?
I get freaked out if a girl cries and then her head falls off.
But .. that only happens like once a year
who gets freaked out when girls cry? I make fun of my sister when she cries usually :)
hahahaha.
I cry all the time. It's like I have a button or something.
My brother always felt bad after he made me cry. And my husband tries to avoid making it happen at all costs. I think it's a guy thing, not to want to make girls cry.
HAHAHAHA dude i was spoiled when i was little so i know how to make myself cry to get my way. LOL
a lot of guys find this "crying button" scary. not me though. in fact, this is gonna sound WAY EVIL, but i used to be kind of intrigued when girls would cry. i kind liked it. later i found out it was because in a sick way it made me feel powerful and in control. but something happened that gave me a better perspective on it. i'm a nicer, more understanding guy now, lol. i think.
a funny observation: guys treat girls that are crying like ER trauma patients. "OH MY GOD, STOP THE BLEEDING, MAKE IT STOP, STITCH IT UP, BANDAGES, NEXT PATIENT!" sometimes that's what needs to be done, but sometimes a girls gotta cry. y'know? interesting and varied creatures we are.
sometimes girls cry for no reason and stupid things make us cry like.. commercials and kelly clarkson music videos
haha
Or when my neighbor drove into my car this morning just as I was leaving for school.
OMG are you ok? the car??
didja pull him out of the car and repeatedly slam his head in the car door?
I'm fine..he just busted my door and the back of my car. He just told me to go get it fix and give him the bill...gonna suck to be him.
OMG I didn't even see this unti just now. Glad you didn't get hurt.
I tried to put it out of place so people would have to find it..mwaahaha. Yah..it was no big deal just an annoyance.
haha, that's true. this is weird, but i was NEVER a crier until i started dating/fell in love w/ austin. if he said one thing that was a LITTLE off, i'd start tearing up. it was weird, cuz before him, things would happen, and i'd think most people would cry about this, but i didnt. now i can't stop the tear ducts. lol after two years of being together, i've gotten much better, but stuff like opening up presents still makes me cry. hahah
No crying button here. On rare ocassion, if something is especially intense I mean it's a matter which level of urgency I need to communicate... I'll wrap my hands around your throat and shake 'til your eyes roll in their sockets. Crying is for girls.
..... psycho!!!!!
*Orig Snob wraps hands around flomo's neck, and proceeds to wring it until his eyes roll back into his head.*
*Flomo's body goes limp and crashes on the floor.*
*Orig Snob laughs maniacally and runs to tell the ezabel world*
*cue in crickets*
(es un chiste, livy)
well it's an immature guy response. I mean women cry, get used to it. It's not a crisis...
Can we get a guy up in here to answer this?