Blonde Cookbook

by ok4now · Jul 17, 2003 · 328 views · Laugh

i try to stay away from the traditional email spam, but this one was new to me. thought i'd share:

MONDAY:

It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY:

Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper.

WEDNESDAY:

A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY:

Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY:

I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

SATURDAY:

Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY:

Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY:

This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.

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40 Comments

#1 magnumOG 2001

Jul 17, 2003

haha good stuff, i really like tuesday's dinner menu

#1.1 yodasuckaOG 2003

Jul 17, 2003

haha this chick was def a blonde... hey nick, this reminds me of the "hot plates" remember?

#1.1.1 debassedbassistOG 2003

Jul 19, 2003

HOT PLATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

#1.1.2 skaorsk8OG 2002

Jul 20, 2003

who is yoda SUCKA?? wow. this sounds like steve.

#1.1.2.1 ok4nowOG 2002

Jul 20, 2003

i'm thinkin it's mel, but i could be wrong

#1.1.2.2 forrestinaOG 2002

Jul 21, 2003

how did that sound like steve? said person didn't use the words "buddy" or "pal" once

skaorsk8OG 2002

Jul 21, 2003

yeah but me and steve are always goign up to people and yelling "sucka! hahaha!" and then running away while laughing manically.

forrestinaOG 2002

Jul 21, 2003

but think who else says "yea sucka yea"

skaorsk8OG 2002

Jul 21, 2003

i refuse to talk to mel on the grounds that she reminds me too much of I LIKE BIRDS

forrestinaOG 2002

Jul 21, 2003

warning! beware of short people...they are at the perfect level for the ultimate pain

yodasuckaOG 2003

Jul 21, 2003

you c! this is why i had to sign on to this stupid, dorky, geeky, waste-of-time, loserish, sped-like, c-team infested, cult that you all refer to as "ezabel" because you all TALK ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME!!

THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME THE CENTER OF YOUR LIFE.

skaorsk8OG 2002

Jul 21, 2003

shoot. someone take away her zoloft. seriously now.

ok4nowOG 2002 skaorsk8

Jul 21, 2003

too much sweet-n-low in the jolt

yodasuckaOG 2003 skaorsk8

Jul 22, 2003

zoloft? what is that? dan hill - please go kill urself

skaorsk8OG 2002 yodasucka

Jul 22, 2003

yeah. see, zoloft prevents short people from telling taller people to kill themselves. it's a major help to society.

yodasuckaOG 2003 skaorsk8

Jul 22, 2003

hey dan hill - go back to paramus!

forrestinaOG 2002

Jul 22, 2003

hahaha c-team infested!

debassedbassistOG 2003

Jul 21, 2003

i would like to make the claim that me and my good friend rhett got people sayin sucka ESPECIALLY to random people

forrestinaOG 2002

Jul 21, 2003

whatever! you and your good friend rhett didn't start me sayin anything. i said sucka before you were born!

debassedbassistOG 2003

Jul 21, 2003

im older than you....

forrestinaOG 2002 debassedbassist

Jul 21, 2003

not if you are who i think you are

debassedbassistOG 2003 forrestina

Jul 21, 2003

whom does youe dink i be

ok4nowOG 2002 debassedbassist

Jul 21, 2003

someone with low self-esteem, judging from the nic

#2 togatweeterOG 2003

Jul 18, 2003

LOL! i love this part "Suddenly I had a flash of genius."

#2.1 ok4nowOG 2002

Jul 18, 2003

indubitably

#2.1.1 togatweeterOG 2003

Jul 21, 2003

i had to look that up to find out wat it meant

#3 malibuOG 2001

Jul 20, 2003

i'm an okay cook. and my mom is teaching me to be a great one like her. so i was discussing marriage with somebody (just kiddingly of course) he told me my honeymoon would be to a cooking school. i find some similarities in this story to my own cooking.

#4 delliott101OG 2002

Jul 21, 2003

I love it.... just in time for Legally Blonde 2!!!!

#4.1 ok4nowOG 2002

Jul 21, 2003

btw...congrats!

#5 rocksupastarFounder

Jul 22, 2003

I cook really good reheated leftovers....

#5.1 forrestinaOG 2002

Jul 22, 2003

do you? what do you make?

#5.1.1 togatweeterOG 2003

Jul 22, 2003

lol, more like "what did i make?" ;)

#5.1.2 rocksupastarFounder

Jul 22, 2003

pasta... lots of pasta....

#5.2 iwz

Jul 22, 2003

hey, weren't you supposed to bring a stromboli to the eZabel party?

#5.2.1 skaorsk8OG 2002

Jul 22, 2003

oooo...stromboli....sausage and ...CRAP!!

#5.2.1.1 togatweeterOG 2003

Jul 22, 2003

stromboli.. i see that word on my parents' mail sometimes

malibuOG 2001

Jul 22, 2003

is that your last name? or do your parents have alter ego's that are luncheon meats?

togatweeterOG 2003

Jul 22, 2003

lol that would be odd if that happened to my parents.. they'd dress up in luncheon meat costumes when that happens. but my last name is Stambouli.. sometimes people write/say it as Stromboli or Zamboni or Stamboly

#5.2.2 rocksupastarFounder

Jul 23, 2003

shutup ian!!! farreste told me i didnt have to!!! did you SEE how much food we had?

#5.2.2.1 forrestinaOG 2002

Jul 23, 2003

yea i did kinda say that cus i didnt want to pressure him...

Blonde Cookbook

40 Comments

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