the toilet was speakin'
by man, i'll never forget...mainly because a few people won't let me. but this is a memorable, embarrassing toilet story. so give ear, eh?
sal, matt and myself were on some nutty road trip type deal where we ended up at a hotel kinda near Boston. we get out, secure the room, drop our luggage and call the girls we were supposed to meet. they want to come to the room, sure, whatever--we didn't feel like driving anymore. then we all decide, almost at once, it's time to drop the huxtables off at the pool, if you know what i mean. it's unclear whose deposit was the culprit, but the toilet was totally BACKED UP! we call the front desk for a plunger and tell the dude to bring it SHARPISH because we were expecting company. while we're waiting for the plunger, the girls arrive! we all meet and exchange pleasantries. now i can't speak for the other guys, but i'm a little worried about how we're gonna handle this bathroom and plunger situation without blowing up our spots with these young ladies. anyway, we talk for a long while and we start to think that the front desk dude forgot, when the there's a knock at the door. i go get the door and open it a crack, it's the front desk dude, i poke my hand out, grab the plunger and close the door on him. i slink over to the bathroom, open the door a crack and throw the plunger in. all without being noticed. i don't even remember what we told the girls regarding the knock. so, we decide to leave at that point, one guy hanging back to unclog the toilet. i think it was matt who did the deed. he unclogged the toilet, laid down towels to dry the floor and ran up to meet us. we thought it was over. we thought we got away scott-free. the three of us were smirking to each other thinking we got away with this silly little thing. we go to pass the front desk and the dude shoots me a dirty look, i guess for snatching the plunger out of his hand and closing door on him. he yells to us "if you have trouble unclogging the toilet, i can call maintenance, and please rinse off the plunger before you return it." the dude completely blew up our spot and we end up telling the girls the whole story anyway. they laughed for...what felt like eons. they weren't too grossed out though. such good sports. but thats it.
it's strange so many people remember this, but i guess it's a fairly entertaining story. i wish people weren't so self-concious about pooping. cheers!
AI Summary
41 Comments
WHHHHHOOOOO HOOOOO! This story rules. i should have been there. stupid amtrack!! grrr. anyway, this is definitely one for the books.
True! He should get an ISBN for it, and sell it on Amazon!
when i lived at home, my sister used too much toilet paper and would clog he toilet and just leave the mess for someone else to fix...meaning myself. as a result, plunger stories make me shudder.
when i was young...i was afriad of poop and i used to wrap toilet paper around my arm all the way up to my shoulder! i was always afriad i'd get some on me. poop is such hostile stuff.
dude, format this a little! add a <p> or something
i have no idea how to do that stuff. i wish i did. care to send me a small tutorial so i can fix it?
That is the tutorial right there. When you wanna new paragraph, just use the "P" tag. It doesn't e'en require a closing tag, so it's sweet.
yea you ever sit there... on the toilet having a great time.. and then you wipe.. and you forget to get toilet paper or your hand just slips.. and you get nice smear action all up to your elbow.... then you sit there.. and you're like... ahhh.. " do i get up .. and wash this.. or finish the businesss.. " ahh man. happens to me everyday.
im never shaking your hand ever again.... ever.
i never shook his hand. once, i drove his car though.
that is quite possibly the foulest thing i have ever read. up to your elbow? thats extreme sport wiping. i bet you get a rash cuz you wipe so hard.
yea i have blisters on my fingers. it's nuts. but i'm not sad because i have.... fruit snacks
i was always partial to the dinosaur shaped fruit snacks...what flavor of fruit snacks do you have?
starfuit and pomegranite. ok no. but where are those flavors at ? that'd be one jamn good fruit snakc poach. nabisco makes good ones. no matter what flavor every fuit snack popped is a party in your mouth .
that was too long to read
haha, you should read it...very funny.
i'm sorry dude. i'm just not a very concise person. i'm fairly long-winded even. if at any point you get bored reading what i write, feel free to stop reading and find a pop-up book to look at.
hey, you've been telling me you would write this journal two weeks ago. don't let the english professors get you down, or you will become downtrodden and never write again.
well no, personally I think the problem isn't the length of your story but the shrunken attention span of our generation!!...a point-click flick of a swtich fast food drive through gota have it now cause 5 minutes from now wont do buncha punks....that's all we are.....haha...PUNKS!!..ALL OF US!!..(i include myself in the "us", we all are affected by this trend to a degree)
yeah that last comment was definately supposed to be a reply to #11...I dunno what went down there
you had me at the huxtables
the cosby show rocks.
theo was a herb
when i was younger (and i still do) thought the show was so great. i loved them all. and i used to think i would grow up and marry theo.
I saw Cosby doing stand-up back in December in Red Bank. It was good-laughs.
my parents recently saw him and they love him too but they said that now cuz he's older all his jokes are like old people jokes.
i saw Dane Cook a few months back in NYC. probably the funniest stand up i've ever seen. go to danecook.com, you can hear some of his jokes. choice stuff.
awesome story! i prob woulda tried the same thing, bein all sneaky with that
Me being a only guy and 4 sisters. Your better off not hiding stuff from girls dude. It only back fires.
Metaphorically and literally.
Hah..bathroom stories rule. When I was in second grade I still had that used more toilet paper then you need thing going on. Went to the bathroom at school and filled the toilet up with it. Flushed it but the water started coming up so I did what any kid would do- run. I went back to my classroom only to hear an announcement a few minutes later that a toilet in the very same bathroom I had just been in, was overflowing all over the floor after some other girl tried to flush it after me. SUCKA!
whats with toilet paper coming in little squares? why ? do they really think i'm gonna just use one little square ? come on.. i need at least 12 of those suckas. just make them in increments of 6 at least.
and what's with people buying cheap T.P...you ever go to someone's house, they have like 4 cars, a pool, etc., and they use the cheap paper? i don't get that. spend more htan 33 cents!!
well maybe they're rich on the outside but that's just the front they put out to the world and are hurting on the inside so bad that they want to hurt themselves with the cheap tp.
theres a reason they are rich! it's becasue they are stingy.