Yuro Inglish
In view of the introduction of the euro as the European currency,
it was felt there was a need for a european language
Read on for the outcome
Evrybudy:
N-joi this wun ..........
EuroEnglish
The European Union commissioners have announced that
agreement
has been reached to adopt English as the preferred
language for
European communications, rather than German, which
was the other
possibility. As part of negotiations, her Majesty
Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and
has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will
be known as
EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the
soft "c".
Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news
with joy. Also,
the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only
will this klear
up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less
letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year, when
the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This
will make
words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of
double
letters, which have always been a deterent to
akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent
"e"s in the
languag is disgraful, and they would go.
By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as
replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz
year ze
unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and similar
changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten
styl. Zer
vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil
find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
If anyone didnt end up speaking with a strongly german accent (albeit it in their heads)
Zu vil du zit again, unt ze vil spreken ze deutshe muah ha ha haaaaaaaa
AI Summary
31 Comments
hahah that was really funny!!
You have issues :)
Glad u liked it - did u turn all german?? lol
Magnum u know what im gonna admit defeat :-D,
i have issues wahoooooo and im proud of it :-D
Heh its good that you finnaly gave in :) Yes when reading it
i turned into Frans and i started to miss my brother Hans.
And i had this strange urge to read the hansel and grettel
story again and again.
muah ha ha my evil plan worked ;-)
frans?.....ha ha ha ha ha
Yeah i forgot Hans and Frans is a american thing i guess. Its a skit on SNL about 2 german body builders who act all tough when in reality they are wearing muscle suits. Funny stuff guess u gotta see it.
HAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA thats the funniest!!!!!
wait no... Celebrity Jeapordy is the funniest. name this continent 'aaaaaaaaaaasia'.
Actually celebrity jeopardy is my #1 fave SNL skit.
ALEX TREBEK: What sound does a dog make
BURT REYNOLDS: uhh m00 alex.
ALEX TREBEK: Good lord we would have accepted bow-wow or rough.
SEAN CONNERY: Rough just the way your mother likes it trebek!
Uhh if anyone is offended i blame tv for my misguided humour! I also got
a sound board with all the episodes funny sayings and quotes if someone wants it :)
lol i didnt think nething of hans and frans
i was just laffin at it, but ur right i have
no idea what the show is :-D sounds dead funny tho
oh and i was totally offended rofl
haha.. SOOOOO funny, tina
That was great...so funny I could watch celebrity jeopardy all day long... THose are the funniest
"I'll stab you with my sword I swear it" heheehehehe.
SEAN CONNERY:Ill take swords for 200$
ALEX TREBEK: S - WORDS! S - WORDS YOU IDIOT!
I cant believe i remember all these.
Connery:"not a fan of the ladys are ya trebek" rofl... i cant take it~
buck futter .. i don't get it..
oh but you do trebek.. you doooo
its "the pen is mightier" not.... the.... lol!!!!!
ahahahaa, guess what? a celebrity jeopardy skit just came up in my playlist. the one with calista flockhart, nicholas cage, and, of course, sean connery.
"Months that start with Feb"
Connery: Febtober!
Alex Trebek:No. Calista Flockhart?
Flockheart: What is Febturday?
Alex Trebek: No
Sean Connery: She said turd!
Alex Trebek: I hate you! The answer was February. That's the month that starts with Feb. It was last month!
Sean Connery: Aha! A trick question!
yea!! i wanna see that! that IS the best snl skit ever... haha
i think that The-rapist one is soooo funny... im just laughing THINKING about it. morpheus has all of them you can download & watch! woopeee!
haha, colors that end in "URPLE"
Alex Trebek: Welcome back to "Celebrity Jeopardy". As you know, all of our celebrities are playing for charity. Marlon Brando, your charity is "Habitat for Humanity"; Phil Donahue, yours is the "Children Are Our Future Foundation"; and, Burt Reynolds, yours is the "Palm Beach Golf & Tennis Resort". We have quite a match going here, let's look at the score: We've got a close race going on for second place between Phil Donahue at -$6,800, and Burt Reynolds with -$6,900. And, at a commanding lead, it's Marlon Brando with -$4,500. Better luck to all of you in the next round. It's time for "Double Jeopardy", let's take a look at our board. The categories are: "Famous Roberts", "Three Letter Words", "Potpourri", "Potent Potables", "Colors", "Holidays", and, finally, "U.S. States". Marlon, you pick the category.
Marlon Brando: Uh.. "Fishing", for $1,000.
Alex Trebek: There's no "Fishing" on the board, Marlon.
Marlon Brando: Uh.. I like "Fishing".
Alex Trebek: Okay, that's great. Let's just start with "Famous Roberts", for $400. The answer is: "This was John F. Kennedy's younger brother." [ Marlon buzzes in ] Marlon Brando?
Marlon Brando: Teddy.
Alex Trebek: No.
Marlon Brando: "Who's Teddy?"
Alex Trebek: No!
Marlon Brando: "What is Teddy?"
Alex Trebek: No! [ Burt buzzes in ] Burt Reynolds?
Burt Reynolds: I'll tell you something, Alex.. I think he's right.
Alex Trebek: No, he's not right! Remember the category: "Famous Roberts".. in the Kennedy Family.
Burt Reynolds: "Who is Robert Blake?"
Alex Trebek: [ stunned ] No! [ Phil buzzes in ] Phil Donahue?
Phil Donahue: Well, my dear, good man, the board appears.. to be mine. I mean, in a tricky game where questions are answers, answers are questions, "Who's on first?", "What's in the chicken?", whoa-oa! and all of a sudden, I'm walking.. [ time-out buzzer sounds ]
Alex Trebek: Phil, your time is up. Marlon, you still have control of the board.
Marlon Brando: [ playing with his buzzer ] In Tahiti, they have these dogs.. that they train to catch frisbees in their mouthes.. it's amazing..
Alex Trebek: [ exasperated ] And I'll pick the category for you. "Holidays", for $400. The answer is: "This December 25th holiday involves decorating a tree and opening presents." [ Burt buzzes in ] Burt Reynolds?
Burt Reynolds: Yeah, "what is my birthday?"
Alex Trebek: Is December 25th your birthday, Mr. Reynolds?
Burt Reynolds: No, July 5th!
Alex Trebek: Actually, I have your bio here - it's February 11th. [ Burt buzzes again ] Burt Reynolds?
Burt Reynolds: "What is July 5th?"
Alex Trebek: [ perplexed ]Absolutely not! [ Phil buzzes in ] Yes! Phil Donahue?
Phil Donahue: [ poised ] Little Bobby, and little Susie, have hung their stockings with care. Mom and Dad are out looking for Tickle-Me-Elmo 'til five a.m., and all of a sudden, Bobby looks up and he says, "Hey! Who is this Jesus?"
Alex Trebek: [ angry ] You know the answer, just say it!
Phil Donahue: Meanwhile, Kris Kringle is drinking Coke! The reindeer are playing Nintendo! The elves are wearing Nike..! [ time-out buzzer sounds ]
Alex Trebek: Time is up, Mr. Donahue! The answer was "Christmas". [ Burt buzzes in ] Burt Reynolds?
Burt Reynolds: [ from out of nowhere ] He's a good guy!
Alex Trebek: [ confused ] What?! What was that, Mr. Reynolds?
Burt Reynolds: Robert Blake! Good guy! You ought to think about putting him up on your board, there!
Alex Trebek: Once again, Mr. Brando, the board is unfortunately yours.
Marlon Brando: [ twisting his buzzer in his hands ] I went into a 7-11 this morning.. and I wandered over to the magazine rack.. there's so many magazines about cars..
Alex Trebek: [ interrupting ] I'm going to assume you picked "Colors", for $800. Name this color. [ a red swatch appears on the game board ] Let's just forget the whoe "answer in the form of a question" thing.. just name this color! [ Burt buzzes in ] Burt Reynolds?
Burt Reynolds: Yeah, it's a rectangle!
Alex Trebek: At this point, Mr. Reynolds, I'm convinced you have a learning disability. [ Phil buzzes in ] Mr. Donahue?
Phil Donahue: We live in a society where everyone claims to be color-blind..
Alex Trebek: I know where this is going! [ Marlon buzzes in ] Mr. Brando?
Marlon Brando: [ slowly removing his pants ] You knoq, I was riding a bicycle.. that I made myself.. and I was with Wally Cox.. and, God, I miss him, he was a good man.. e had fingers like a sailor.. I remember one time, in Bangkok.. [ time-out buzzer sounds ]
Alex Trebek: The answer was "Red". Mr. Donahue, you are at -$7,200; Mr. Reynolds.. you seem to have broken your buzzer.. and Mr. Brando, you're naked from the waist down. Let's just move on to "Final Jeopardy". I tell you what, let's just forget the question. All you have to do to win the game is write down the current year. What year it is right now. [ the "Final Jeopardy" theme plays, as the contestants barely make an effort to write down an answer ] It's a number. What year is it this year? It starts with a "19". [ Alex approaches the contestants to check their answers ] Okay, let's see what we've got. Mr. Donahue appears to have written way too much.. in fact, he's still going on. Let's see what he's got so far. [ a lengthy monologue appears on his screen ] Not even close.
Phil Donahue: Oh, come on!
Alex Trebek: Okay, now, Mr. Reynolds, I didn't see you write anything, maybe I missed it.. [ a blank screen appears ] ..and I didn't. You gave no answer.
Burt Reynolds: Why don't you let me buy a vowel?
Alex Trebek: Okay, that's infuriating. [ approaches Marlon Brando, who has a puppet on his hand ] Mr. Brando chose to speak to a puppet, in lieu of participating. Maybe the puppet wrote down an answer. [ Marlon's screen is revealed to have the word "POOP" written on it ] You wrote "Poop". This must be a proud moment for you, Mr. Brando.
Marlon Brando: [ concentrating on his puppet ] You're a squawking parrot.. you're an ant.
[ Burt squawks like a parrot ]
Alex Trebek: Okay.. Mr. Reynlds is the winner, by having the least negative amount of money. On his behalf, the Palm Beach Golf & Tennis Resort will receive a check for $10,000. That's it for "Celebrity Jeopardy". I quit.
wow NOT cool, ur trying to beat me for longest comment ever...grrr
Is there a limit to these comment things? Maybe i will post like a ebook up on here. Now that would win longest post.
haha, pleease don't. the database is already close to 10 megs, and it takes me like 15 minutes to download it to back it up! nooo!
You host this on a local box or at a hosting company? From the whois records it looks like a hosted site.
yeap, hosted out of California from Intermedia.net. I get 100mbs of space, and I'm currently using over 80mbs. I'd love to host it at my house or something, but I don't have a broadband connection that's always-on.
Ouch 80 megs of space used, unless u got dsl its not worth it to host a website locally and from the amount of graphics and stuff this site serve's i dont think it would be to good to host it at home either.
Trying to beat you .... I just did !!
LOL! so funny. but next time, just make a link.