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When Boredom Sets In!

N
by nine9star
· Nov 21, 2001 · Lame · 198 views

Ha ha i just got this in an email and thought i'd share it with you all

How to keep a healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hairdryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom ( Don’t disguise your voice.)

3. Every time some one asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.


4. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

5. Put your rubbish bin on your desk labelled ‘in’.

6. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.


7. Put decaf in the coffee maker for weeks. Once every one has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.


8. In the memo field of all your cheques write, For Sensual Massage!

9. Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”

10. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”

11. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire workplace. Insist to others that you like it like that.

12. Don’t use any punctuation.

13. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

14. Ask people what sex they are.

15. Specify that your drive-through order is ‘to go’.

16. Sing along at the opera.

17. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

18. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them the day after your boss does. ( this is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender)

19. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you are doing, eg If anyone needs me I’ll be in the bathroom.

20. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

21. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

22. Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.

23. Call the psychic hotline and just say 'guess'.

24. Have your colleagues address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

25. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I won, I won, 3rd time this week!”

26. When leaving the zoo start running towards the car park, yelling “ Run for your lives, they’re loose”

27. Tell your boss, “It’s not the voices in my head that bothers me, it’s the voices in yours”

28. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go!”

29. Every time you see a broom yell “ Honey your mother is here”


These are all tried and tested, however i would appreciate your feedback, response from collegues, the public etc, or even any suggestions of your own ;-)

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27 Comments

rocksupastar rocksupastarFounder

hahahahah... very nice.. the email out to the employees to tell them you are in the bathroom... i do that ALL the time!

N
nine9starOG 2001

ha ha, really? nice lol

rocksupastar rocksupastarFounder

no, but it would be funny.... i have to clock out to go to the bathroom, which pretty much amounts to the same thing.

N
nine9starOG 2001

the synchronized chair dancing gets my vote - also helps w/ boredom ;-)

rocksupastar rocksupastarFounder

yea that would help... i wish i had an intercom to announce myself over it.

magnum magnumOG 2001

We played football in the office today, that was kinda cool.

N
nine9starOG 2001

maybe u could get a portable mic so u can take it to the loo and announce it, or whereever u r,

N
nine9starOG 2001

football :-D cool american im guessin

magnum magnumOG 2001

Yup the football where u dont use your feet. We americans are so smart! Hallways are to cluttered on the ground to play real football though.

N
nine9starOG 2001

ha ha r u insinuating we britons arent?

magnum magnumOG 2001

No i was being sarcastic that we play football yet we use our hands.

N
nine9starOG 2001

ooh sorry lol doh im so dense sometimes

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder

yeah. you have to assume, when an american says "football" he means "american football", just as americans should assume that brits are reffering to soccer when they say "football". you see, if i went up to some guys and said, "hey guys! did you see the american football game on the tele yesterday!?" i would probably get my teeth kicked in.

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001

wow, you have quite mean friends!

N
nine9starOG 2001

ha ha, yeah i did know u mean american football but i was just checkin as soccer in the office wouldve been quite erm hazardous lol

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001

do you guys know that theres a band called "american football"? its an EMO band... chris kitts told me about it before, i thought it applied. :)

N
nine9starOG 2001

cool ha ha, but the question is, do they rock!!! lol

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001

i dunno, i didnt download any songs! i should....

N
nine9starOG 2001

hmmmm maybe ill check em out

magnum magnumOG 2001

EMO is only good in small small dosage's. Too much and you may want to hurt someone.

tpham tphamOG 2001

speaking of american football. i think we won again on saturday

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder

die. at least i thugged it out. hey when are we gonna have another game?

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001

are you guys gonna come to the JC game and see how real men play?

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder

excuse me? real men? you think this is queer?? you think this is queer?!

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001

lol!!! you better be quiet or ill put my face in yer butt, i mean, yer butt in my face! hahahahahahhahahhahahhahaha

mandie mandieOG 2001

HA, that's great. When i worked at chuck e cheese, we would make a football out of towels and play football when the boss wasnt looking. it was so much fun.

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001

I remeber when I was working in the hardware store me and the other lower level clerk used to take the garbage can covers and use them as shields, then we used to grab some lawn and gardening equipment and use them as swords or spears. It was so much fun. Then if that got boring we would set up the driveway quart sealents as pins and we would grab the extra wheel barrow wheel and use it as a bowling ball to try and knock over the sealents. Then when that got boring we would grab PVC and put a wood dowel through the middle and then screws holes through two ends and then attach chain and weights to it, to set it up like a bench press... man those were the good old days

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