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War of the Germs

N
by nine9star
· Jan 8, 2002 · Article · 733 views · ·

Okay this story just came to me while i was in the bathroom getting ready for bed - no joke

This is what we commonly think of as germs,
okay maybe not but she is the "germ girl" and you know what i mean we see them as evil little parasites, which i suppose pretty much sums them up!

I always thought of myself as being a bit of a germ freak, as everytime i use public toilets, after washing my hands, i cover then with my sleeves to open the door.

Well tonight at our book study, somehow we got onto the subject of toilets and germs - dont ask me how, we have an eclectic range of conversation material at our group lol.

Anyway a certain sister was saying how she rarely uses public toilets for this very reason, but then went on to say how she especially doesnt use the taps as they will be covered with all kinds of germs left by people immediately after using the loo.

I found this quite extreme (and gross)


then her sister said how she wraps the flush handle or chain in toilet paper to use it then the first sister said - get this you wont believe it.....


"Oh no i dont use toilet paper," she exclaimed in horror "you never know whats been on it or who's touched it"

i mean COME ON, what does she do then??? - ok lets not go there

Then the first sisters husband chips in, "its like an assault course everytime i use the loo, i try and make sure i touch as little as possible!!!"(of the cubile he means)

Then about 2 minutes later he flounces in with disposable rubber gloves

"i never leave the house without a pair of these" he states as he demonstrates putting on a pair in surgeon like fashion "i mean i put them on before i enter the toilet and when i leave i whip them off.. and throw them at the nearest person"

at that he winks cheekily but is this guy for real?

So what i was wondering was does this seem excessive?

or is this just like you? If so i think you should seriousbly look at this

I mean there have been the invention of handy little devices like the neat seat, but this only protects you from the germs on the toilet, not elsewhere in the cubicle, or at the sinks or on the doors etc.

That means that these things are all over us,

But can we constantly live in a germ free world?

of course not, but are these precautions worthwhile, and should we all take disposable gloves where ever we go?

ill leave you with a bit of useful advice

so let me know about your own personal germ battles

To contribute to the discussion, please log in.

112 Comments

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001 ·

this was quite insiteful! thanks nine!

tpham tphamOG 2001 ·

I don't POOP on public toilets.. i've only had to do it twice.. AHHH ... felt so DIIIIRRRTTTTYYYY .. MY house is the only place where i can comfortable DE-CRAP myself.. seriously

iwz iwz ·

i can do it. i've done it in nicer restaraunts and at work. any other public toilets.... nuh uh.

deanh77 deanh77Founder ·

you use la toilette for more than the release of urine while out to eat? thats bad, if you excuse yourself from dinner for like 15 minutes or whatevre then the people KNOW what you are doing.

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

ha ha i dont do that anywhere but my home :) rofl

iwz iwz ·

sometimes ya just gotta make more room to finish your meal.

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

rofl i see your point lol

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

Good point Ian........

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

your brother brandon brought that to my attention, i think it's a fine concept, but with one fatal flaw... you have to make it quick, or your food gets cold, i mean you can't just kick back and take your time

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

ha ha ha, yeah that could be a problem unless you go before and after (itll make the wait for the food go quickly lol)

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

hahahaha.... excellent point

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

ha ha thank you, thank you very much - do you not notice girls do that tho?, i mean like they'll order and then one by one (or in twos) theyll trek off to the loo, lol

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

wow, i never thought of that! actually i just never thought of girls pooping i guess.

N
nine9starOG 2001 · thefunkyfresh

ha ha u were just under the illusion they went to touch up their makeup, or for a girly chat about who likes who - when actually they go for moral support ;) ha ha

tpham tphamOG 2001 · nine9star

wait wait.. girls POOP ? ewww thats nasty...

N
nine9starOG 2001 · tpham

ha ha poop?, thats what the kids i babysit use

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder · nine9star

yeah, i guess it's like giving birth, guys do that too. "OK HONEY BREATH!! ok now push! push!! PUUUUSHHHH!!!!!" with the pooper screaming in pain and thinking "i'm never doing this again! that's the LAST time i eat 15 sausage links right before bedtime, and from now on, 3 glasses of ovaltine a day!"

N
nine9starOG 2001 · thefunkyfresh

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha - that was so funny - but guys dont give birth ;), ha ha so u 2 go to the toilet in pairs or does some stranger come to your aid?

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder · nine9star

you know what i meant! lol, most guys don't give birth, except for arnold schwartznegernoggnineeger

iwz iwz · thefunkyfresh

neger noggin neeger.. hahahahahhahhaha

iwz iwz ·

well, if they're super skinny girls, i usually get suspicious as to what they really do when they go to the bathroom for a while, after eating a huge meal.

N
nine9starOG 2001 · iwz

u should be!!!!

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

ha ha toooooo much information ;)

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

i totally disagree. i love doing that, it's fun to see how many different toilets i can clog :)

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

ewwwwwwwww no need lol thats disgusting, maybe you should see a doctor about that problem, i mean if you can do enough to fill a toilet!

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

LOL!! sorry sorry, i was kidding. (meaning i don't clog them on PURPOSE, it's sheerly accidental)

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

ha ha ha ha oh right - do you keep a log (no pun intended) of how many you clog?

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

HAHAHAHA!!! that was hilarious! no, i should though!

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

And to think I wanted to be the inspiration for this story...NEVERMIND!!

legs legsFounder ·

...I think that sister went a little too far...

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

tell me about it i was like Cath???, ur messin right??? she was like no sam u really have to be careful lol

deanh77 deanh77Founder ·

Q: Is it possible to get sick if a dog licks your face?


Ans: Don't be surprised with the answer. No it is not! Pet dogs have cleaner mouths than human beings. In fact, letting your dog lick you is far less risky than another person kissing you.



now I don't feel so bad when I give my nephew some crackers or something and he gives every other one to the dog.

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

noway they like lick their u know - how can that be clean???

R
rocksupastarFounder ·

I dont get it.... germs are BAD!

C
crazygirlOG 2001 ·

speaking of germs my sister (amanda) just sneezed and burped on me at the same time. it was the most disqusting thing ever. i got up and had to wash my hands with dish soap. hahaa. well u guys gotta tell her how gross she is. ok. hehe.

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

ha ha ewwwwwwwwwwwwww ur gross - and dish soap, that is so much worse that liquid soap oh and you should try and use paper towels not fabric ones rofl

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

Aright, Thanks Doctor 9!!!!

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

your welcome - oh and sorry bout my typing everyone (which i modified!), i was on a straight keyboard, whereas i usually use a natural one lol

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

this story reminds me of an amusing anecdote that my sister related to me, it's a story that jesse tamburri had, of a time he was in an airport bathroom stall. and i guess to get the full effect of the story, you have to hear him tell it, but i guess the essence of it is, that he was in one stall and this other guy was in the stall next to him and they were both farting very loud, in an almost competitive way. when they both left the stalls, i thought there would've been an uncomfortable silence, but instead there was an almost congratulatory conversation, mostly phrases like "nice one!" Anyway, that's disgusting, but i found it funny. ya gotta hear it from the jess man

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

ha ha ha that is SUCH a guy thing lol

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

no, i think it's just a SICKO thing

R
rocksupastarFounder ·

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH thats SOOOOO funny.. and its a REAL jesse thing to do!!! hahahahahhahahahahaha im still laughing

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001 ·

ROFL!!!!!!! oh my god that was seriously one of the funniest things ive ever read... Jesse rocks, everytime i have a convo with him... you know what it all comes down to... our THEORYS. i think thats how i really got to know him & matt. right? hahaha

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

hahaha... oh boy, please DONT elaborate on that messed up theory

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001 ·

why mattyo? thats what brought us allllll closer together!!! the THEORY! :-D

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001 ·

that reminds me of Austin Powers...WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR?! and then the guy in the next stall... let it out! tell em whos boss! hahahahhaa thats so funny... then "what did you EAT?!" ahahhahahaha lolol

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

ha ha thats exactly what i thought of so funny

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

Actually the guy in the next stall says: "YOU TELL THAT TURD WHO'S BOSS!!"

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

common gfs, we know what she meant dont be piccy ;) jk

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

piccy or picky?? I dont get which one you mean ?

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

grrrrr dont be so PICKY mister

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

Thats what Im here for to be Mr. Piccy.....

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

oh, and that whole thing about NOT using toilet paper! that's just nasty, i bet her underwear drawer is skid-mark city!

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

hmmm interesting point i think she probably just never goes to public loos, its a whole lot easier, and cheaper than forking out on all that stain remover or new underwear

mandie mandieOG 2001 ·

So I heard everytime you flush your toliet tiny poop/pee particles fly everywhere, So what's that mean for the toothbrushes that sit out!?! EWWWW!!!

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

LOL...now that is gross....LOL!!!!

mandie mandieOG 2001 ·

Do you think its true? My friend told me that, but i'm very gullible so i have no clue.

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

It probably is true, I would believe it...the amazing thing is that the toothpaste is supposed to get rid of those germs!

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

Did you know that anything within a six-foot radius of a toilet gets covered in microbes every time you flush? Happy brushing!

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

whish is kinda what ur mates was sayin mandie so yeah i guess we should cover our brushes ;)

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

I say we leave them all out and see what happens....

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

no thats just too gross i mean whatd be the point in cleanin ur teeth?????

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

The toothpaste does all the cleaning, they just need your motion of the brush!

mandie mandieOG 2001 ·

so your scrubbing poop and toothpaste in your mouth?

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

cmon, it's not THAT much poop! its only a little!

mandie mandieOG 2001 ·

oh wow, that makes me feel so much better!...(do you sense the sarcasm here? hehehehehe)

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · mandie

A little poop never hurt anyone...

mandie mandieOG 2001 · g.f.s.rocks

speaking from personal experience? ewww, G-Money eats his own poop. gross!!!

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder · g.f.s.rocks

ever hear of malaria

mandie mandieOG 2001 · thefunkyfresh

isn't that a disease that you get when a misquito(sp?) bites you? a blood transmitted disease?

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder · mandie

whatever. what about parasites?? huh?!? HUH?!? you can get those from poop

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · thefunkyfresh

Yeah you can...Hey I dont eat poop, thats not what Im saying, Im just saying, the poop particles wont hurt you if you leave your toothbrush in the bathroom, but did you guys ever hear of tape worms, and the stories that go with that little friendly parasite?

N
nine9starOG 2001 · g.f.s.rocks

ewwwwwww thats just gross, but i dont think you can get them from poop isnt it from like soil or something?

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001 · thefunkyfresh

some day somebodys gonna make you wanna turn around & say goodbye....

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001 · thefunkyfresh

how come you know so much about poop mattypoo?

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder · punkprincess

well when you're king, you need to know these things (quote from monty python and the holy grail)

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001 · thefunkyfresh

good goly gosh! i need to see that movie! people quote from it left & right! and east & west!

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder · punkprincess

dont tell me that you've never seen it! what the heck is wrong with you! and you're the one who jumped all over katie for not seeing the princess bride!

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001 · thefunkyfresh

NU-uh!!!!!!! that was amanda! i was just part of the CC congratulating her for finally seeing it! SO THERE! NAH NAH NAH POO POO (had to keep the "poo" going)

iwz iwz · punkprincess

well, he DOES work at American Standard. They're the PoopMasters!

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder · iwz

thats what i do people! i work at the toilet company! they also make other stuff too, like sinks, tubs, whirpools, faucets, and .... ugh... BIDETS!! who actually uses these things? SO NASTY. ok, next time i want an ENEMA i'll call you ok?? ... GROSS!

N
nine9starOG 2001 · thefunkyfresh

but unfortunately he's not a plumber :( ha ha

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · nine9star

Cause you just are!! Is there anything wrong with that??

N
nine9starOG 2001 · g.f.s.rocks

ha ha that didnt make any sense - but how did you know im a plumber?

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · nine9star

Well, I can just tell by how multi-talented you are...

N
nine9starOG 2001 · g.f.s.rocks

ha ha oh pleaaaaaaaaase - dont u mean the grease stains on my overalls?

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · nine9star

First COMMENT 100!!!
Yeah, its all that grease and the rough hands you have, I can just tell your a hard working person!

N
nine9starOG 2001 · g.f.s.rocks

ew lol who said anything about hard hands, i have beautifully soft hands thank you very much - i look after them!

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · nine9star

So do I ;) j/k j/k I have never seen your hands, but I bet they are pretty hands!

N
nine9starOG 2001 · g.f.s.rocks

oh please, they're just hands!

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · nine9star

your right, your right, what am I thinking, how could your hands be pretty?!?!?

N
nine9starOG 2001 · g.f.s.rocks

ha ha ha ha clever, but im not going to rise to the bait bucko

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · nine9star

bait, what bait? I dont have any bait....

N
nine9starOG 2001 · g.f.s.rocks

mhm oh yes you do

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · nine9star

What was the bait then?? Cause I didnt know I had any!

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · nine9star

What was the bait then?? Cause I didnt know I had any!

N
nine9starOG 2001 · g.f.s.rocks

repetition for emphasis? i have no idea what the bait is lol

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · nine9star

Sorry, I hit the button twice...Then why did you think I had bait??

iwz iwz ·

wow, I am truly impressed at the threads going on in story. nowhere can you find a higher concentration of the word "poop"!

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

i know im so proud of myself for instigating this whole highly intellectual discussion ;)

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

very very impressive indeed!

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

mhm, could we have even done that if we'd tried?

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

Its un-pooo-leivable!

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

You know what that was SO funny - i forgot to laugh ;)

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

Thanks for the confidence, in my snese of humor :p

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001 ·

hahaha! thats my line!! woo hoo! you rock! hehehe

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

ha ha ha thank you thankyou very much :) *takes a bow* lol

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

errrrrr....so not fair, two against one......

N
nine9starOG 2001 ·

awwwwwwwwww diddums ;)

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · nine9star

Thanks Nine, your the best!!

N
nine9starOG 2001 · g.f.s.rocks

oh i know lol - erm why?

N
nine9starOG 2001 · nine9star

ew i just got 666 comments ew

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