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Delicious Foods That skaorsk8 Can't Eat

thefunkyfresh by thefunkyfresh · Jul 9, 2003 · Article · 600 views · ·





As we all know, our good friend skaorsk8 is
lactose intolerant.  In layman's terms, this means that he can't
enjoy the creamy goodness of ice cream, the beefy deliciousness of a Philly
cheese steak, or the lip-smacking lusciousness of a good old fashioned
piece of pizza.  So I thought, what better way to appreciate
skaorsk8's uniqueness than to name all of the yummy food's we can think of
that he is unable to enjoy??  BEGIN!











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117 Comments

togatweeter togatweeterOG 2003 ·

hey that waitress is a cutey

togatweeter togatweeterOG 2003 ·

if you can't have cheese, you can't have quesadillas.. those are the bomb

iwz iwz ·

Cherry Yogurt!


Fresh mozerrella with sun dried tomatoes


Cheddar cheese (or GRILLED CHEESE)

togatweeter togatweeterOG 2003 ·

oh man, i feel sorry for someone who misses out on grilled cheese

fivezero fivezeroOG 2003 ·

yeah, man, i totally hear that. Dan just better pack it up and call it a life..

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

i hate you all. every last one of you. this is the last time I am going to say this.


I AM NOT LACTOSE INTOLERANT!!!!!!

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

i know i know... i couldn't resist! anyway we kid because we love. i'm not supposed to eat dairy either, i have to though

iwz iwz ·

what are you then?

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

allergic to milk!! come on now!

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

nice try buddy, what do you take us for?

hunkpapap hunkpapapOG 2003 ·

OH MAN!!! SOOOOOOO FUNNY! I love this props to matt for this story.

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

ok. i'm going to go along with this. my favorite food that i can not eat is kraft macaroni and cheese. one time i had it when alyssa made it, and then went to the bathroom. it was UNBELIEVEABLE! like, all cheezy, and good...and then i was sick. and my mom knew why. i'm not so bright, sometimes.

hunkpapap hunkpapapOG 2003 ·

dan, when i was a young'n i couldn't eat ice cream i remember crying cuz i could only have soy milk. I have since built up a considerable tolerance to everything not along the lines of quattro formaggio....

hunkpapap hunkpapapOG 2003 ·

i guess what i'm trying to say is... i feel your abdominal pain....

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

i am not convinced you really do. i think you're a lying wad of spit.

beachbum beachbumOG 2002 ·

you guys SUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! you know how hard it is not to be able to eat that stuff? hmmm, a moment of luscious creamy cheesecake=several hours of wanting to barf and headaches. i want pizza so bad and i caved a couple of weeks ago. 2 days of being ill. but sometimes it's worth it

tesoro tesoroOG 2001 ·

HAHAHHAHA! oh my word, this was so good Matt! and so mean at the same time. hahahhaha hysterical.

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

pizza definitely tops the list for me... also cream cheese, or mozzarella or parmesian cheese with most italian food. and ICE CREAM!! mmmm... forgetaboutit

tesoro tesoroOG 2001 ·

penne alla vodka

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

oooooh wow. sooo good. i tried some at vandermeyde's wedding. amazing. THIS IS TORTURE!!!!

R
rocksupastarFounder ·

CHEESECAKE

forrestina forrestinaOG 2002 ·

haha chocolate chip with oreo cookie crust right?

hunkpapap hunkpapapOG 2003 ·

chocolate cheesecake...

forrestina forrestinaOG 2002 ·

i make that but it's frozen german chocolate cheesecake

tesoro tesoroOG 2001 ·

ben and jerry's phish food is the best ice cream.

R
rocksupastarFounder ·

sherbert, i LOVE sherbert.. but everyone at my place when i got it, made fun of me.. its good though... MAD good!

forrestina forrestinaOG 2002 ·

rainbow sherbert mmmmm

ilikebirds ilikebirdsOG 2002 ·

chickens real good. i like chicken.

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

ooooh ooooh .... TUNA MELTS!! amazing stuff. also in st. thomas last summer i went to this place called "udder delight" that specialized in milkshakes... HOLY CRAP they were so good. they had some alcoholic, some not, but all the ones i tried were amazing

ilikebirds ilikebirdsOG 2002 ·

goolash.. hungarian goulash is good.

fivezero fivezeroOG 2003 ·

POLLY-Os STRING CHEESE! and and and Laughing Cow Gouda Cheese!

tesoro tesoroOG 2001 ·

haha, smoked gouda is so good...thats my second favorite cheese. i'm a big fan of cheese.

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

wait! my mom gets me sheep's milk gouda! i can be part of this conversation!! it's my 3rd favorite cheese!

forrestina forrestinaOG 2002 ·

"i just love polyester string cheese"

fivezero fivezeroOG 2003 ·

oh, is that right?

forrestina forrestinaOG 2002 ·

little girl in my cong told me that

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

ok. I am going to start fighting back.

Dan's List of Acceptable Cheeses.

Keep in mind, none of these involve cow's milk. Hence, they are safe.


1. Pecorino Remano. (I can't spell this.)

2. Feta. (REAL feta. It's made from sheep. Betcha didn't know that.)

3. Spanish Monchechgo. (I really can't spell that.)

4. Tofu slices. (Ok it's not cheese but I pretend it is).

5. Buffalo Mozzerella. (Yeah, you try not to think about where it came from. I had Buffalo Mozzeralla Calzone in Rome, it was UNBELIEVEABLE. Soo good.)




Ok, it's a short list. so sue me.

forrestina forrestinaOG 2002 ·

dan how good is feta! you can't eat ricotta salad(sp?)? i thought it's from goat's milk...

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

hahah. i don't think it is.

malibu malibuOG 2001 ·

tofu is garbage! don't let anyone be fooled by dan hill. it is really just cut up little sponges.

fivezero fivezeroOG 2003 ·

i like tofu in my hot and sour soup! tons of scallions too.

raerae raeraeFounder ·

In Dan's defense, if cooked properly tofu is actually quite good.

togatweeter togatweeterOG 2003 ·

my skool used to make hamburger meat out of tofu

iwz iwz ·

oh, um, that other cheese like parmesan but made from sheep's or goat's milk is probably ok.. what's it called.. dang... Romano!

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

yeah, that's the first one i put on my list there, killa.

tinser tinserOG 2002 ·

jahanna, that is completely unfair....you cant put down penna a la vodka...thats MY favorite dinner...you know i get it every single place i go....therefore....i recind jahanna's comment and take it for my own...

tinser: penne a la vodka

fivezero fivezeroOG 2003 ·

i hear Jahanna likes vodka a la vodka with a vodka slushy on the side. crazy drinkin' italians. and i hear theres all italians up in this joint, thats why you all always sound drunk!

tesoro tesoroOG 2001 ·

vodka is actually pretty gross..but i dont think there's any such thing as penne alla SoCo.

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

HAHHAHAHAHAH...this is the funniest thing i've seen in a while. i love me some southern comfort. straight. while playing halo. every time you die, you take a shot. sooo good.

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

You must get drunk real easily....

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

yeah. because i drink like once a year. i'm not embarrased to admit that.

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

I mean you must get drunk easily, because you die the most in the game...

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

oh. i don't play halo anyway. show up tomorrow, i'll school you in tony hawk.

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

Look at your previous comments, you just said you do play halo...

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 · g.f.s.rocks

ok i play to get killed. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW.

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · skaorsk8

How do you play?

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 · g.f.s.rocks

listen, i'm not approving your story. leave me alone. sicko.

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · skaorsk8

What are you talking about? Your the one who is lactose intolerant!!

fivezero fivezeroOG 2003 ·

if ever we play together...DAN, you have to take a shot of whole milk when you die! now thats incentive to stay alive.

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

i hope we never play this. i will get really sick.

forrestina forrestinaOG 2002 ·

haha i found that quite humorous

ok4now ok4nowOG 2002 ·

don't forget the refreshing taste of buttermilk! lip-smackin' goodness.

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

or CHOCOLATE MILK!

ok4now ok4nowOG 2002 ·

ok, i don't get it. are u mocking my sarcasm or do u really hate chocolate milk?

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

no i love chocolate milk.

ok4now ok4nowOG 2002 ·

i'll take that to mean u love buttermilk, then

malibu malibuOG 2001 ·

matt is buttermilk, he's white. like rice.

ok4now ok4nowOG 2002 ·

white like rice

and hot like butter

his lips are smoothe

when he's callin for his mother

malibu malibuOG 2001 ·

that's kinda sick there pal.

ok4now ok4nowOG 2002 ·

didn't mean to...i guess it was a bit of a stretch for the ryhme

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

no i'm white like white chocolate

ilikebirds ilikebirdsOG 2002 ·

you know what i like.. i like dog meat. it's crispy. yea.. my people rule. ok and by "dog meat" i really mean.. " barbeque corn chips" thos things are soooo good. many men wish death upon me.

katiedid katiedidFounder ·

I volunteered to make vegan chili for you guys friday cause I truly believed you were lactose intolerant. (sorry, dan, guess the joking got out of hand). but relax, mike convinced me not to make the chili. so order pizza and enjoy the lactose!!!!!

R
rocksupastarFounder ·

I was being nice, i didnt want you to have to make all that food, sheesh, just trying to help out!

katiedid katiedidFounder ·

I know, baby. it's cool

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

He's not....then whats with all the comments that he is....fooled me!

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

they are alll LIAAAAARS! humpadink humpadink humpadink!

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

wait, why vegan chili?? i like meat! i'm not jahanna!

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

Jahanna doesnt like meat??

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

nope. she's a vegan. she smells like meat though.

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

That means she doesnt drink milk either...right?

thatdarngirl thatdarngirlOG 2002 ·

True veagan's don't drink milk, eat eggs, or anything animal related. My sister is a veagan, when she comes home dinner is fun.

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder ·

will she eat honey?

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 ·

Wow... thats a good one! So does she?

thatdarngirl thatdarngirlOG 2002 ·

Interesting..I don't know! i know she used to, maybe she does because it doesn't hurt the bees?

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder · thatdarngirl

yeah but milking a cow or using chicken eggs doesn't hurt them! i dunno, i've heard that some hardcore vegans won't even eat honey

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder · thefunkyfresh

no i think its bee barf

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder · thefunkyfresh

wow... how'd that happen? 2 #74s

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder · thefunkyfresh

whoa! GLITCH!!!!!

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · thefunkyfresh

weird!

raerae raeraeFounder · thefunkyfresh

some wont even use toothpaste cause it has gelatin in it i think.

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 · thatdarngirl

sorry, i must be vulgar for a moment. is honey bee poop?

forrestina forrestinaOG 2002 ·

a real veagen wouldn't because it contains bee parts

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

ewwwwwww that is vile

tesoro tesoroOG 2001 · skaorsk8

oh yeas, and Danner..i'm not gonna come to Boston wednesday...i forgot i told my boss i'd work friday..but i might come just for the w/e after work, if i find someone to come w/ me.

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · tesoro

I'll go with you!!

katiedid katiedidFounder ·

actually, i read a vegan book once that said white sugar was bleached with animal bones and that ketchup contained animal blood. I'm not sure if I believe that, but it was in The Vegan Handbook.

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · katiedid

The Vegan Handbook?? There is a guidebook on how to be Vegan? This sounds like a cult to me!

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 · g.f.s.rocks

bunch of sickos. next thing you know, they'll have a compound in waco.

g.f.s.rocks g.f.s.rocksOG 2001 · skaorsk8

Did you hear of the parents who almost killed their newborn child because they were Vegan and they wouldnt feed her milk?? Talk about sicko's!! 100th Comment!!

malibu malibuOG 2001 · g.f.s.rocks

then what were they feeding her? nothing?

fivezero fivezeroOG 2003 · skaorsk8

vegans = sign of the end times

malibu malibuOG 2001 · fivezero

hahahahaha. like the last days? "people will no longer enjoy meat. and there will be pestilances and violence."

tesoro tesoroOG 2001 ·

haha, you're a dork..i'm not a vegan. i was vegetarian...i was vegan for like a week. i think it was stupid though. and stop trying to be matt and keith! i dont smell like meat! :)

tesoro tesoroOG 2001 ·

i do like some meat...anything WHITE. haha ie: chicken.

katiedid katiedidFounder ·

because you dont eat milk products and I dont eat meat.

afroboy afroboyOG 2003 ·

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

afroboy afroboyOG 2003 ·

leave dan alone ... just because he has a weak stomach to dairy does'nt make him any diffrent!!! from one brother to another

thatdarngirl thatdarngirlOG 2002 ·

It's ok Dan..as a child I couldn't drink milk. But I grew out of that..and you didnt.

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

wait right here. let me get a medal for you.

deanh77 deanh77Founder ·

wow. so funny. just for shock/mean/funny value alone. haha.

G
ganon188OG 2003 ·

dan i think you can eat anything you want. matter of i know that if a hot girl asked you to eat something you normally dont eat youd eat it in a heart beat. LOL

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

watch it there, punk. you're just mad because sections of your hair are different colors. mr "the sun did it". yeah ok!!

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

Why is this the top story?? I don't understand. Don't support this kid. He's bad.

nsav16 nsav16OG 2003 ·

its true dad only eats what he wants to!! He just likes to use excuses. LOL LOL HEHE HEHE

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

hey man. i don't think that's true.

skaorsk8 skaorsk8OG 2002 ·

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