legiapolOG 2002

A self-proclaimed "fun and hip Polish-Bolivian" from Brooklyn, Dave Llanos arrived on eZabel in late 2002 with one primary mission: to promote his band, Step Seven. And promote he did, with the gleeful shamelessness of a man who would describe his own bandmates as "a group of talentless, foreign immigrants" with hidden monkeys playing the real instruments. Dave's humor ran on a potent fuel blend of ethnic self-deprecation, absurdist bravado, and a deep commitment to making sure everyone knew that Step Seven existed, that Step Seven was playing soon, and that Step Seven needed you in the audience. His running bit with ilikebirds was a masterclass in escalation: Thai would mock the band name's meaning ("Band-Aid From Jews"), Dave would fire back about Vietnamese celebrities (or the lack thereof), and both would circle back around to increasingly elaborate fake insults about each other's heritage. The two had genuine chemistry, which is probably why Thai was Dave's number-one interaction partner despite Dave's relatively short tenure on the site.

Beyond the band promotion, Dave was eZabel's most enthusiastic event organizer for the music scene. He put together the first Hamilton Street Cafe show, packed the place, and then spent weeks in the journals hashing out logistics for a sequel: who would play, how to fund it, whether to charge at the door, how to handle the guest list, and whether the stage was too cramped for a five-piece. He treated event planning like network architecture, which made sense given that he was studying to be a network admin and working IT at his school. When he wasn't booking shows, he was sparring with skaorsk8 about theology, trading barbs with punkprincess (who credited him with getting her into New Found Glory and The Starting Line), and flirting with legs in the most self-sabotaging way possible, cycling through increasingly desperate gimmicks from fake glasses to paper bags over his head. His self-assessment was blunt: "im 22 and never been within 2 feet of a girl. if thats not pathetic, i dont know what is."

Dave had a knack for weaving scripture into comedy without it feeling forced. He could deliver a deadpan exegesis of John 17:16 to explain why "Band From Society" was actually a deeply theological name, then pivot seamlessly into roasting tesoro's parking skills or declaring that seit2see's parents-funded lifestyle still couldn't land him a girlfriend. His reflections on marriage were surprisingly thoughtful for a guy who spent most of his time calling his bandmates gay: he argued that the real challenge wasn't the honeymoon phase but the years after, when the roses stopped and the roommate fatigue set in. By March 2003, with only 134 comments to his name, Dave noticed the site slowing down and posted a journal titled "downfall of ezabel?" diagnosing the problem with characteristic directness: "i believe we need to get more women on here and more pictures of women on here." His last comment, in October 2003, was a fitting exit line about how the most attractive people pair off by rank, "except me... i get money." Dave also popped up briefly under the alt haha, but legiapol was the main act.

eZabel Personality Type: ESFP -- "The Showman." Dave treated every thread like a stage and every interaction like a set, blending relentless self-promotion with genuine warmth and a gift for making people laugh at him, with him, and occasionally at the entire concept of a Polish-Bolivian kid from Brooklyn trying to make it as a rock star. He burned bright, burned fast, and left behind a trail of unfinished show plans and zero girlfriends.