ohh look at me i never have any debt, i'm perfect, i'm just one of those people who manages money better than the credit card companies themselves!!

i must wear baggy pants because my legs are skinny! pass the Jncos!

oh, if only dan would stop trying to steal my woman!

oh, i wonder how brian does it! i wonder if a girl will EVER hold my hand.

my girlfriend has all my personality

i try to impress people by telling them outrageous made up stories about nipples

me and my sister the other day threw cookies at each other. it was so funny.. then she ate the cookies with milk... i ate my cookies with PROTEIN!

i suck at riding motorcycles, i get tickets, get my bike stolen, and get into accidents - i should just get a giant inflatable bubble suit

tuna has so much protein in it.. all i eat is tuna then i have a shake.. then i do jumping jacks . sometimes i eat cheese

I am yellow.

I hate being so short.

Hey, you like Star Wars? Wanna get married?