I start off with a round of mental stretches, and a 1-liter of mountain dew to get my energy up. After some light finger exercises, I get out of bed. Before I even get dressed I'm +550 calories for...

30 minutes of cardio and ab workout!? that seems a little extreme ian, you seem to be a bit bound up. i'm in and out within 45 seconds to a minute usually

maybe I should increase my bran muffin intake?

maybe it should start just after the first workout session... and go for a second at 3 for the next day.

from now on taking a dump will be refered to as "a workout session"