Mine is also fart related! I want a toilet that has a built in silencer. So you don't have to hear people in the restroom going to town. Also so they can't hear you. I already know who #2 works ...

first off, i always sit. regardless of whether i'm peeing or pooping, i sit. it cuts down on noise signficantly. number two (haha), i always turn on the water while i'm going. let everyone think...

this makes perfect sense.

This is a good alternative, but it just covers over the sound, rather than eliminating it. I use Matt's method when I pee, but for #2, I'll turn on the fan and pray for the best. Its almost lik...

no todd, you THINK that's a joke, but that is the most amazing idea i've ever heard! who needs armpits!? seriously. they provide no medical function whatsoever as far as I know, and all they do ...