General Dating Questions For the Rusty
Lets say a girl gives a guy her phone number and the conversation before getting that number involved getting children together from each party to play together. But the guy might be interested in something more than just getting kids together, maybe ask her out on a date. Do you do the kid thing first and kind of indirectly try to lead it to a date, or do you go for the direct route and ask her out without kids around? What do ya's think? I kind of like the indirect route better. Shows what kind of family man the guy is right off the bat.
Uh....Yeah....someone I know is asking this. (wink...wink...)
AI Summary
112 Comments
wrong, wrong, wrong. you are wrong about everything.
You have much to learn my young padawan... Haha...
your mother is my padawan
when you say "rusty" i immediately thought you were like 39 and with salt-n-pepper hair
you're only 27? come on live it up boy you're still a BABY!
Well, I was joking in a way. Haha... 27 but bogged down with kids. Not much time for living.
ya, i hear ya.. i'm 27 with a husband and pets and it's a lot of work.. couldn't imagine adding kids into the mix
but yeah live it up.. get a babysitter and go out on the town.. or.. something ha
It's rough at times.
They're going away for 10 days at the end of the month to Florida. I'll live it up then. Haha...
Somehow find a new chick and get married in that short span!!
I've been talking to someone who is very promising. Hopefully it is something that will continue to grow.
personal experience has taught me not to write anything on here about women. I'm just passing it on so you won't have to call Ian in an emergency on a saturday and ask him to remove anything...
possibly an inappropriate question: did you have any mojo when you actually were married? c'mon, bro! if you KNOW you're the man, and you WALK like the man, then the honeys will have to know that you're the man-- and they will respond. confidence. mojo. pimpitude. big sunglasses. loud ties. teeth whitening. concise, intelligent speech patterns. sell yourself like you're a Mercedes CLS 65 AMG.
i'm sad that this forum is so full. how is it that so many people don't have game!?
Nerds are all talk... :o)
i'm the best of both worlds, man. i'm a nerd with effective game. lol
wow... you are a bigger loser than i thought
don't get your fro in a twist. i'm messing with the guy. really, does any of that appear serious to you? uh-uh. do you think you're the only one who can joke rough? uh-uh.
do us all a flavor and pipe down, chachi.
why don't you do the world a "flavor" and go kill yourself. sounds like you're the one that needs to pipe down, dude. you don't even recognize when someone is joking. so just shut up...and shut up!
ya nerd.
feed my little sheep
I can feel your anger...gives you focus...makes you stronger...
Chachi...LOL!
i love how you two are the only ones that laugh at each other's jokes. why don't you guys just admit that you are gay lovers already.
don't run from your feelings
Well maybe we aren't uptight like you Alex my boy. I'm also 27 years old. At this point in my life, I could care less if people think I'm fruity for liking Star Wars or because I can remember lines from various movies and old TV shows. You are a youngin'. I have skin flakes that are older than you. Haha...
you're not uptight? is that why you always walk around like you got something stuffed up your butt.
and stop acting like you're so wise and experienced. dude, you're only 27. you're nine years older than me...big deal! you act like you're three.
Well, looks are deceiving. I also have a hard life and my personality is one where I usually keep to myself. If you can't understand that, well that's your issue. I only act like a freak on here. Ezabel is the place to unwind.
Only 27 and yet I am a single father of two small kids, I have a full time job, a home to keep in order, meetings to get to, kids to teach, etc. Did I mention I get no help from anyone else? I'd say I'm well seasoned. I live the life of someone 10+ years older than I am.
So my teenage protege, anymore nice comments? :o)
bro, dont make fun of me and expect me not to say anything, and then when i do say something complain to me about how hard your life is.
im sorry you have to deal with waht you have to deal with, but if your were so laid back, you'd be able to joke around without getting your panties in a bunch.
Lets just fight and get it over with. Pistols at dawn, 30 paces each... haha...
sounds good. lol.
You don't always word everything so well my young apprentice. But I'm probably guilty as well.
i think it's because we're close in age and have a similar sense of humor, my son.
no one's gay here, lol. you're like the little edgy gay guy who calls everyone ELSE gay, but only because HE'S gay and hates himself. you might need some gay anger management classes or something.
Hahaha....OMG!! Tooshay...
I think Alex is a crankier person than I am. LOL! The power of the Fro is too much for him. Hahaha...
you'd think hornets were perpetually stinging his nuts, he's so cranky.
He went to the magnum school of how to win friends on eZabel
Touche...
Touchy.
tooshy? hahaha
done toosh me meng, i may get angree
well either way she is going to say no, so i wouldn't even try.
I need an Alex Kelly wig. Chicks dig the fro.
just don't do it
I'm like 3 women later. Can't seem to hook any. Need to use a different lure or something.
This is kind of off the top of my head...but maybe you're just going about it the completely wrong way. If you're purposefully searching out someone to date and be with...well you're going to keep going for someone you're slightly interested in just because you want to be dating/married/etc.
It's like shopping for a jacket. Just because you want/need a jacket doesn't mean you just try the first one you find (even if it is hideously ugly and you don't really like it or even if it is kind of cute).
Okay, end the jacket analogy. Maybe you're just better off living and the right girl with come along.
I know that's what everyone says, and I know it's good advice, but it is a lot easier said than done. Especially when it feels like you're not meeting new people, or are meeting them very slowly, it can be very easy to fall into the trap of going after girls that are obviously wrong for you.
I'm trying to be friends first with females and see where it goes from there. What other way are you supposed to do it? It's hard enough for me to meet anyone with two kids. Am I supposed to play the freeze tag game? Stand frozen and wait for someone to tap my shoulder? Guys are usually expected to make the first move.
No, I'm just saying it seems like you're making friends with them with the intent of dating them later. Why not just make friends with..like everyone you can and one of them just might happen to turn out to be something more.
Well, technically only I know that. I don't say to them "Lets be friends and date later on".
The thing is, a lot of girls figure if a guy wants to hang out with them, it usually means the guy wants the girl. At least that is what one girl told me.
See, you have to tell yourself that your only doing it to make friends too. Otherwise you'll present yourself, (subconsciously, of course), in a way that appears that you're trying to date them later on. Again, it's good advice, but it is difficult to apply.
I guess I need to make myself clearer. I don't go into anything expecting to suck face after a week. I go into it learning about the person and letting it go from there. The last person I hung out with automatically assumed that since I'm a guy, I wanted to date her even tho all we did was go out in service together. Which, it would have been nice to later on, but you need to be friends first. That is my angle. I've always been one in the past to not approach girls. That didn't help me either. I like this approach better. I know what I want and I'm gonna approach ones I'm interested in rather than let some girl I'm not interested in approach me.
I know its been awhile but no one says suck face anymore
Ah...shaddup...LOL!
yo man that "just be friends" stuff is insanity. it's ok to let a woman know up front, "hey, you might be the kind of person i could be interested in", instead of being like "ohh i want to be friends!" and then later be like "ok, now i like you, let's not be friends anymore!"
why are you trying to complicate what should be easy and fun ... ?
Women are complicated creatures. The exploration of them is like trying to find your way through a mine field.
i choose the mine field!
Sometimes we have to fish with the lure we're dealt..
yeah what if you just ask HER out and then realize that you HATE her kids
or she hates your kids
or your kids hate her kids
or her kids hate your kids
yeah kids are basically the deal breaker here methinks
Then you break it off? I fail to see the issue.
yeah, i overdramatized it
I made plans with her and her kids for next Monday. Was gonna have a small BBQ maybe invite one other family, but of course my father has to be a grump because I told him after the fact. For whatever reason it's ok for my worldly sisters to have their punk friends over without consent, but I have to get permission to have a few Witnesses over. What a family I have. Anyone want to adopt a 49 year old man on crutches? LOL!
It may be a better idea to just meet at the park or something. I'll have to call her up tomorrow.
NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!
Ah....My life is over.....haha....
give him a few soco and lime shots and he's yours....
haha...You know this from experience? haha...
HAHAHA more like "mike i'll buy you a shot if you...." and he does it. our little monkey! LOL
dude.. soco n lime is GOOD! and no... patrick knows all too well about it tho, lol
who do you think gave me the 411....LOL
that BLABBERMOUTH!
dude are you falling for it again? you gotta trust me
Having been in a similar situation a few years back ( I did the single parent thing too.....my hubby adopted my son after we got married), I can say that from a woman's perspective, it's nice when you put the kids first. Even though I had known my husband for almost 8 years before we started dating, and Tyler knew him as well, he still made a point to befriend Tyler first once he decided to pursue me, and along the way, he started to let me know he was interested.
It worked out well, because now, he and Tyler have such a good bond, and it really showed me off the bat that this was a man that had the same family interests that I did...because trust me, there are plenty of guys out there who "pretend" to be ok with the single mom thing, but really, they are easy to see through eventually.
I guess what I'm saying is that in my opinion, it's nice to put the kiddies first, to get them together and hang out, because not only does it afford you and the woman the opprtunity to chat about the main thing you have in common (the kids), and find out each others opinions on the important things like the kids, but it also prepares the kids for further hanging out, if you and the momma decide to start a relationship.
I hope that makes sense....I ramble a lot....hehehe.
I think your response has been the most influential. Thank you.
You're welcome. Like I said, I know exactly where you're coming from...it's a different situation to be in, but I definitely believe it works out at times. Whatever you do, I hope it works out well for you. :)
Im hoping the woman is single...
Yes, she is.
are you sure that she is a in a position to date (ie scripturally free)?
Good point...
As far as I know she is.
dude, forget all this nonsense. roll up on that shorty and be like "look, we're too old for this high school shenanigans. howz about we get some dinner and party up, huh?"
I'm just gonna call her tonight.
The best way to develop anything is open communication. If you feel like there is an interest, talking about it will lead to answers and relieve any stress that could be associated with doubts... So good choice in calling her up...
you're right
Do the kid thing and feel out whether she's into you or not. If you have an inkling she is then set something up right away. Confidence is key.
lets not get ahead of ouraelves here, pal. is she hot?
Hot is a bold term. She's attractive and catches my eye.
Good enough
oops i forgot that one. Good lookin out
first of all you should make sure she doesn't ever get access to the internet. Women find this site i assure you...
I'm quite certain she doesn't come on this site.
even if she does, that doesnt necessarily mean that she knows which one you are
i was JUST gonna post the same thing
Well I'm confident she doesn't know this site exists. OR I just shot myself in the foot. haha...
There are over 700 registered users on this site... heheheh
Oh geez....
How many are in their 30's though? I think I'm ok.
is that including every fake name all of us have made up....i have like 5 of those...tweedledee & tweedledum...umm, can't think what else.
That's a scary thought... Time to go back and delete some old posts...
Being that both of my parents dated after they were divorced, and both played the "family man/woman" card by letting their cute kids play together, I can say it doesn't work. It's not a good premise to base your relationships on and your kids, as long as they're old enough to understand that a new woman is in the room, will realize what you're doing and resent you. Just be a man and be direct. You don't have to ask for a date, just say you'd like to get to know the sister better.
That's a good point. They're not used to a woman being around daily anyway. Their mom is only around every other weekend. But I see what you are saying. There's a gathering on Saturday that I was gonna see if she was going to. We're both kidless this weekend, so that is a good opportunity I guess.
Like socalgal said, we really need to have more information on the current status of your relationship with this girl. Is it someone you just met? A long-time friend? What do you know about her that makes you want to date her?
We both have the same kind of situation. Both single parents. I've known her for a long time. We've talked more recently. And she's easy on the eyes. That's always a plus. And I see her trying hard to get to meetings and such like I do with the kids, so it shows she has some strength.
Well, my general opinion is that any relationship should always start as a friendship. If you're not comfortable talking to each other as friends then you're definitely not going to be comfortable on a date, and it will show. It's really hard to give specific advice on your situation, since it all depends on how comfortable you are with each other and how sure you are that you want to get to know her better. If you're pretty sure, then I would say just to tell her that you'd like to get to know her better.
remember to wear pants to the park..
otherwise... it's just awkward.
So that's why the last girl ran away screaming...
I'll have to remember that.
I'm pretty white. I could blind people with these legs. haha...
do you know her well? if not i would keep it casual and get to know her a bit while the kids had their "play dates" then when you have had the chance to know each other a bit more then ask her out cause worst case scenario she may think you were jsut using the kids to get to know her....and you dont want that.
Well I've known her for years, but we've never done much together other than talk during a function and during a convention. I figure getting the kids together is a good excuse to get to know her further. We've had a couple of nice conversations the last couple of months. So I'd like to build upon that.