Ahh Golden Memories......
Last night I was writing a report when I had to use white out, and I suddenly remembered about the time I tried to paint my whole bicycle with a tube of whiteout. All these memories of the stupid things I did when I was just a wee lad suddenly started coming to mind. Like the one time I nearly impaled myself on a fence when I jumped off a truck like Indiana Jones in front of my house. Or how I would sit in the middle of the road with a "Lemonade .25$" sign, giving the driver no choice but to stop or run me over to a messy death. Or when I rolled all the toilet paper off the roll, into the toilet creating a new game which I dubbed Noah's Ark. Or when I was at my friends house, when they told me that if I peed onto a tennis racket they would give me a huge jar of money. I did and they told on me, leading the way to the biggest beating of my life(they still haven't payed me, in case you're wondering). All of us could probably write a book on the stupid things we did when we were little, so share some of your stories. I know you have them.
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103 Comments
Been waiting 10 minutes for approval, what kind of place do you run around here?
hahahahaha!! matt, this is so funny. i like that about the lemonade. thats real pressure marketing there
not that long ago i made a bake sale thing and i was like flagging people down running across the road and doing everything possible to stop people and make them buy something. ahahahahaha. one guy was like considering i almost ran u over ill have.... hahaha. such a dork
Well I found out , after a little game of truth or dare, that my friend one time ATE his OWN POO !!!!!..... how nasty is that.. he thought it was chocolate.. haha.. little did he know.
That's such a lie there's no way that ever happened outside TV
NO .. it did happen.. it really did.. actually i think his exact words were " well i thought it was some part of the pizza.." or something like that.. ugh.. so nasty..
ew! who was that?! for some reason i think ive heard that before, i just dont remember who did it, so gross.
that is just NASTY!!!!!
ty that was sooo gross!!! and how old were they?
ALright the jolly candy man would appreciate no more comments like this, because those type of comments disturb the jolly candy man, OK
well... one time, me and matt, we wanted to make a canoe outta this big log, so we dragged all of these tools and everything down to the river and started to hollow out this log. So matt like ALWAYS managed to drop the hammer, and he had a cast on from playing football, so he sticks the hand WITH the cast on it, into the river... and gets his cast soaking WET.... SOOO funny.. we thought it was the WORST thing in the world!!!!
I know matt has some funny stories about a cowboy suit
Yea I remember a long long time ago in a galaxy far away, I dropped my dads 80$ belt down a hole in the middle of our kitchen.
when we got it out I had the beating of my life from it.
That's such a lie, you never got beat for it, your the favorite for goodness sake
also, this one time, me and matt were building a tree fort. We didnt have much money for wood, so we found some rotten wood behind matts house so we decided to use that. So we built this fort... it was like 40 feet high. So we for some retarted reason, decide to build the roof ON the ground and then pull it up with a crappy pulley that we found in his garage. The thing weighed SOO much.... as we were pulling it up... the nails were cutting up our hands.. and we finally got it to the top. Then... as matt came up to the where i was holding it, the thing started to fall... and i had the rope all tangled up around me... so i was all freaking out that it was gonna pull me over, but it hit the ground, and cracked up. Then his dad told us we couldnt go back there anymore.. NO fair!!!!!
One time when i was real little, i jumped off the couch and there was a stupid pin cushin lying on the floor. I landed on the pin cushin and a pin waent rght through my foot and i was wearing socks. My dad had to yank it out with plyers. It hurt soooo much.
You know that happened the same time your cousin jumped off the workbench at our house and landed on an nail. We had to get his dad to pull it out with pliers, as it was too hard for us to pull out.
when I was like 5, this girl from my hall was over and her, me, my brother and her sister were all playing outside.
she told me I was superman and that I could fly, so I jumped off the back deck's steps and fell and hit my head on a rock.
I had a concussion and had to go to the hospital for like 2 days.
pretty funny, huh?
yeah funny that you were that stupid!!
Sorry, i just couldn't stand that 99 comments staring back up at me anymore
I was playing on scaffolding once, when i was at work with my dad. I was pretending to be a fisherman and when i was pulling a pretend fish out of the water I fell off the scaffolding, did 3 flips, a triple axle and a reverse grap before i fell and hit a my head on a rock. I had to get almost 30 stitches.
you think you had it bad?! One time I was on this platform 73458 miles above the sea level, I was doing some basic maintenance on an eagle's nest, when all of the sudden a tuba whacked me on the shoulder. Well, no doubt I was knocked off balance, and as I plummeted to the earth, I caught fire when I finally hit the atmosphere, I did like 124 front flips a octuple toe loop, with a mute grab to a mctwist japan air....until I hit a skyscraper, and proceeded to do 900 backflips, with 57 360's while holding onto my feet so they wouldn't fall off. Oh yeah, and the skyscraper fell on top of me (extinguishing the flame, but also causing the ground beneath me to melt into molten scorching hot pavement.) The tuba fell on me, too. It was NOT a good day.
lol, aw man! how come you never told me about this? i woulda sent you a card or something
We use to have intermission between meetings on Sunday. Your dad and an idiot from the same cong. took that 10 minutes to run out to the parking lot to through rocks. The kid next to your dad throw a rock and hit your dad in the head. He was gushing blood when all the sisters started screaming for help. He was taken to the hospital for stitches. I had to stay a the meeting. I was mad about that.
Now I know that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 2 stupid things I did when I was about 10yrs old. 1. My brother told me he had a present for me but that I had to follow him to the side of the house to get it. He kept saying things like, I saved this for you, you're going to love this.... It was his poop nicely wrapped in toilet paper. 2. My brother and I were riding our bikes down the hill in our back yard when he punched me in the jaw and knocked me off my bike. I got back on and said, "I dare you to do that again." Which was not the right thing to say.
hahaha who saves POOP?! lol!
jolly candy man- you ought to let your dad read this.
Soory, im a real idiot, but do i know you?
O.k. here's the defense from the person who saved his poop--
he was planning on hanging it from a tree branch with a piece
of string, being sort of a "poor man's" pinata, saying it had
pieces of corn & peanuts in it.
matt that is SICK
I didn't write that either, someone logged on in my name and wrote all these stupid things. But they're all so funny so i cant complain
Do you normally give out your passwords??
No i just found out my dad was on under my name and wrote all sorts of stupid things, good ,great, wonderful!
HAHAHA, your dad is so cool!! HAHAHA
He wrote like 30 comments all dealing with poop, i love it. Its great
HAHAHA....Thats awesome....My dad wouldnt even know how to log onto eZabel!
well my dad is ian's uncle, so it must be in the blood
Just remember, I want credit for telling the poop story in the first place.
Yeah, sure take it
Yeah this was me, sorry matt
i remember riding on my skateboard by in the day.. and i'm skating and i see this car in front of me.. maybe about 5 feet so i was about to turn.. however a friend yells at me..so i turn around to look at him..(totally forgetting about the car..that i had ALREADY seen) any he yells..." TYYYYY WATCH OUT FOR THE CAR " , i was like .. STUPID! i already know.. i turn around and WHAP! .. 19 stitches later on the top of my forehead , i realized that friends are stupid !!!
wow! i didnt know you got hit by a car
haha, more like, ty hit the car! lol
youre so in love
with who?? Who is in love??
with me! oh wait im not brad pitt or ty. Oh well such is life
a story about my brother... he was about 12 years old..and he was running barefoot to chase my oldest brother who happened to be on a bicycle.. the genius decides that he's tired of chasing after him that he sticks his foot into the gear and chains.. needless to say he big toe got ripped off..and to this day he has no big toe..!!! but can play soccer and run faster then the fastest mexican rat that yells arrriba...arribba..
I love pain.. ever since i was little .. so whenever i could do something.. to increase my pain threshold i did.. on a few incidents i decided that my foot needed a higher pain threshold .. so i decided that as cars go by i stick my foot out and let them run me over.. about 3 times i did!!!! and nothing ever broken.. it doesn't even hurt that bad at all.. i was disappointed.
another story.. me and my childhood buddies.. wanted to be cool.. and well we hated bees and wasps.. so we decided to be super heroes and get rid of all the wasps in the world... so we got our caps... a windex bottle, and fly swatter in hunt for hives.. we sure did find one.. in this old abandon car... and well the hive was huge.. we ended up squirting the hive with windex.. needless to say about 50000 milliong wasps came to attack us.. i was able to knock out like 2 wasps before .. the other 40 that actually stung me.. ouch. we ran into my buddies house and we were there for about 2 hours while his dad skimmed our legs and arms with a razor blade or whatever..looking for any leftover stingers... that was rough !...
hahaha.... yea.. me and matt had the same kinda thing.. we had this bees nest in my back yard, so matt.. came up with this idea to shove a broom handle or something down into it.. and hes like "oh they must be gone.. cause i guess he didnt see any..." so all of a sudden he starts jumping up and down and ripping off his clothes cause they went up his shirt and in his shorts and stuff... SOO funny... so then.... because they stung my friend, i came up with the idea to blow them up. We got some gas and a long piece of string and a cup, poured the gas in the cup, wet the string with gas, put one side in teh cup and the other we lit... it was pretty cool, blew up/burned a big hole in my yard... and we killed ALL the bees.. heheheheheh
LOL! oh my word! i cant believe you actually blew up a bee hive!
yea, it was GREAT!!!!!! i felt like macgyver!!!!
hahaha! I have a bee story too...we have a barn in my backyard and there was a wasp nest inside so of course me and my brother wanted to knock it down...so we both got shovels and started wacking the thing so all the wasps came swarming out, so we bolted from the barn with the bees right behind and we jumped into the pool! haha i think both of us wound up wiht a couple stings.
My grandma had a bee's nest in the groung in front of her house, so me and my brother decided to throw rocks at it and the bees were going crazy. So i told my brother to get a towel from the house and he comes out with a brand new, white towel and then my grandma starts going crazy. She starts yelling "Tristan what are you doing?!" Then almost immediately he says,"Its not me its Matthew!" pointing his finger at me. so i get punished and my brother goes and starts throwing some more rocks at the bees
one day your dad went into the swamp in our back yard and took our ax to a mound of dead grass. It had a bee hive in it. He got stung about 5 times and ran away. So a few minutes later, I figured I could chop down this mound and get rid of the bees and the grass, so I took the ax and started to hack away when I got stung 6 times. I ran away screaming too. That's stupid.
One time there was a bees nest ,so me and my brother went and got something thats flamable, so we find this stuff that makes the color on your car show up.On it it said"EXTREMELY FLAMABLE"!!!!!!!.Stupidly We got a match and tried it out.the flame was so huge, it could of been one of the ten plagues.After that day we killed,324,233,534,345,567,867,764,887,809,685,886,000 bees.
i'm gonna have to say i beat you on a larger flame..
me and a friend were in love with fire for a little bit... so we took about a gallon of gasoline and put it in a bucket.. we ran away really far and throw matches at it.. until POOF... we almost burn his dogg !! it was great..
haha, i love how you always start out in the past tense and slowly work your way into the present tense
yea, i got you both beat...me my brother and sister we're pretending to be "camping" in my backyard, so of course we needed a fire...well the fire spread...uncontrollably...we burned about a quarter of an acre of my backyard. burned half the fence and almost got to my neighbors house, but the firemen stopped it. ahh good times! lol
We even counted them all it ended up to be 324,233,534,345,567,867,764,887,809,685,886,000 bees
One other time we put a smoke bomb inside of our mailbox wth realy anoying beatles that bite.Only one beatle survived.From that day on our inside of our mailbox is purple
Me and my sister were in Pensylvaina and bought some firework stuff...we decided to go outside (in Jersey) and 'play' with them. well...we used this one that would fly 20 feet in the air and sparkle...or so we thought...It caught on fire and turned into a huhe fire ball, flew up in the air and went over this huge fence next door...needless to say...from then on that neighbor hated us..
Oh i got a good one. Once my mom had a part at the meeting and i went up with to say one thing like "Jesus" or something. So after i did this i started sucking my thumb, because i did until i was about 12. I started humming a song and everyone heard me and started laughing. I t was so embarresing
thats nothing!!! one time i went on stage w/ my mom when i was little and i started putting my hands in my underwear and started playing w/ my dress and being destracting.. then right during the presentation i lifted up my dress and said.. hey everybody look at my new underwear!! lol. well from then on everyone knew i had donald duck underwear. hahaha.beat that matt
Aright, I got you ALL beat!! hahaha...take this on for size, back when I was an adolecence in 7th grade, of course associating with the wrong crowd due to peer pressure, we thought it would be pretty cool to throw matches into dry bushes right next to the school. Nothing serious happend until we just lit the whole matchbook on fire and threw it in and then all of a sudden the bushes went a blaze along with some trees and some other types of the plant kingdom....
We tried putting it ou by stopping on some of the flames, but then realized it made it worse because the little ashes were still lit and landing at other places, that wasnt a smart idea at all... I knew it was serious when we ran through the rest of the woods and the fire and cop cars started flaring down the streets at that point I said to myself....this is bad.... I eventually was in detention after school for one month, and never was allowed to see those kids again...Thank God....
thats pretty crazy.. you guys were crazy piros!!!!
wow, you started a forest fire! nice going.
I know, I wasnt thinking much back then...but that was my childhood, not much thinking just actions (not a good combination)
yea, thats more or less what being a kid is all about...
The worst thing is your too young too enjoy it
so true, so true......
I'm in school reading this and everyones loooking at me while I sit here hystericaly laughing...good story
Thanks, its a true story though! I know I was young and stupid....
Wasnt that this past thursday night?
hahaha.. yes a matter of fact... now im wearing the little mermaid
hahahaha...that is so funny!! hahaha
yea well one time.. i thought that the stage at the kingdom was a dressing rooom and so i went about trying on new underwear i had bought earlier that day.... no not seriuosly.
LOL. The worst part was that the audience was giving you tips on which one looked the best
HAHAHA
hahaha matt u are sooooo funny! i love it!!
so i guess you mean, i love YOU!!!! wow.. you guys official yet?
Hey...I'm the sister here...I got the low down on all this...hahaha
ha ha a romance is blossoming
Between who??
oh my gosh!! deffinitly not! i sadi hes so funny cause he is. i love that he is funny is what i said. geez maleeze...
CRAZY AND FUNKY SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G......
a little slow are we???? they be talkin about Candy and crazy...
Yeah, Im a bit slow
haha, i juust remembered something. i once had to wipe jolly candy man's butt for him, because he didn't know how yet, and my uncle (who was babysitting both of us) was too chicken so he made me do it. i'll never forget him sitting in there on the toilet whining... "helpp..... heeeelppp"
Ian, thats so mean and embaressing to bring up for poor Jolly Candy Man
when I was about 3 years old, my sister was a little baby, and my dad would play these tricks on me. He'd have me help with the "aftermath" of a diaper change - in other words, my job was to throw away the diaper. Before I grabbed the diaper from him, I'd ask him, "poopoo in there?" My dad would tell me "no, no, todd, no poopoo in there", and then I'd take the diaper from him to throw away in the garbage. I'd run off, and when I was just about to throw it away, my dad would yell to me "poopoo in there!" and I'd run all the way back and give him the diaper. He'd do it to me over and over. ahhh....it was probably hilarious, but I was 3, I didn't know.
why would you give him back the diaper ? i don't get it.
first of all, I was THREE. Second of all, if there was poop in the diaper, I didn't want to touch it or have anything to do with it, so first I'd ask....is there poop in there? if the answer was no, well, I didn't mind taking it to be thrown away. But my reaction when my dad told me there was poop in the diaper, instead of just throwing it away since I was already there (and I can actually remember this happening), was to bring it back to my dad, because...yuck, it had poo in it!
And it all makes perfect sense now
ha ha ha awwwww that is so cute lol
The person who saved his poop says you could have made a pinata
with it!
Who the heck wrote this? Someone must have logged in under my name. Although it is a pretty good idea
hahaha, you must have a split personality and didnt realize it!!
BURNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I remember that. The truth was i really did know how, i just liked it when people did it for me
Well this story is about to be push over the wall into the desolate waste of the second page, but if you come up with anymore stories don't hesitate to hop on over. Have a nice day.
Good story,you did a good job.