star wars: the thoughts that count (UPDATED)

So this past weekend in ocean city we walked like 4 blocks (what's that like .00003 parsecs?) to the movies and saw star wars episode II. my condensed thoughts: star wars is more hype than anything else. i guess the movie was okay, but nothing special. Before you star wars freaks go buck wild on me, please realize that I'm not being a hater, I'm just being brutally honest. You can continue to live in dream land if you want, but I'll explain my thoughts logically for you. 1) the special effects weren't any better than in other recent movies (in fact yoda looked just as much of a rubber puppet as he did in the older movies), 2) the acting was below average (several sickeningly corny lines like, "oh anakin, why do i get the feeling you'll be the death of me"), 3) they kept slipping in all this democratic propoganda that got on my nerves (what was that line again? "the day we stop believing in democracy is the day we get a cactus shoved up our rears" ... something like that), and 4) the plot was predictable, not only because you already know what is going to happen from the other movies, but because they use the old reliable formula of "rebellious youngin acts recklessly, but gets the girl in the end." Also, what was the deal with that yoda fight sequence? take a look at your lives people, be honest. it was cheesy and you know it. all around me in the theatre during it i heard grown men giggling like little school girls because some green midget is flipping around like a mexican jumping bean. that's not funny, it's corny.

I think that the main reason that star wars is so hyped is because of the simple fact that nerds are fascinated with outer space. i think they will pretty much watch any movie featuring space ships, words with lots of syllables, and technology that nobody can comprehend, so i guess as far as star wars' pocketbook is concerned, they have a winning combination. plus they throw in the "disney factor" and "young love factor" to try to appeal to all audiences. i think that in the 70's and 80's the special effects were probably ahead of their time, and somehow, the the money making machine that is star wars has managed to keep the hype going since. It hides under a facade of light sabers and laser guns, but when you get right down to it, it's really sort of dumb. I mean come on, are lasers really that cool anymore? no. they are washed up. and so is star wars.

If you haven't seen this movie yet, I think you should save your money. there's a whole bunch of other movies that are out or are coming out soon that are better than star wars. the only thing that i can think of that would make me recommend star wars is that queen amadala is hot. whats that? she's a senator, not a queen? well you know what? I don't give a hoot. you can tell jar jar he can kiss my furry white butt for all i care. or go rent spaceballs to put things in perspective.

side note: I am expecting a lot of negative feedback from people from this article, so be my guest. Prove that you are easily manipulated and predictable (jab courtesy of www.aversion.com).

UPDATE: Question for all you star wars geeks! one thing i've never understood about star wars is how they go to a planet and are always exactly where they need to be. like when luke went to that planet and just happened to be exactly where yoda was. like if a friend said, "hey come to my party it's in massachusettes!" and you went to massachusettes, chances are you wouldn't ever find their party. is it there an explanation for that phenomenon? or is it just something you accept?